...?

[flyboy_fox]

I just realised something so fucked up that I actually laughed out loud when it occurred to me.

Friday 24th of June, next Friday, is the day I'm supposed to be travelling to London for Summer of Sonic.

I just realized that it's also the date of my mum's hospital appointment to see if the lumps in her breast are cancer.

I wanted to go to the hospital with her. I told her I would, before I realised (just now) that it clashed with London.

I know that when I tell her it's SoS weekend, she'll tell me to go to SoS, she'll INSIST, especially since my hotel is all booked and everything and I'm staffing. But how can I do that? And even if I do, how can I enjoy myself when I'm worrying myself sick about her?

I know there's an 80-90% chance that it's perfectly harmless. But I also know that my mum is scared, especially since some of the sampling procedures might be uncomfortable/painful. I know she'll be fine, but...

I don't know what the fuck to do.

It seems almost obvious to say "fuck SoS, I'm staying with my mum, she needs me", but I dunno if that'd be more stressful for her in the end... she'll get all upset about wasted money, and I know she'll blame herself for me not going and she'll feel guilty, no matter what I say. I don't know what to do, no sir I do not.

Comments

[kartoon-kompany.livejournal.com]

There would be no question in my head. Mom comes first. I'd have to know what's going on with her and be by her side. Sonic will be around.

[flyboy-fox.livejournal.com]

It would be a very easy decision if my mum was that kind of a person, but she's not... she's going to insist on me going to SoS and will probably get very upset if I DON'T go, which is why I have a dilemma. I'm not sure if it'll be more stressful for her if I try to insist on staying or if I just go so that she won't feel guilty or upset about wasted money.

[kartoon-kompany.livejournal.com]

I guess I think like that because I couldn't be somewhere and my mind is back home. I'm a worrier, so I'd HAVE to know what's up with her before I could move forward with anything else. She would just have to fuss with me! LOL! But I hope it will all work out eventually.

[teamrodent.livejournal.com]

Seconding a "Go with the Summer of Mom", instead.

[flyboy-fox.livejournal.com]

Like I said above, my mum won't make it easy. She'll twist it so that she makes herself all guilty and then she'll be upset about the money :\ That's why I'm afraid insisting on staying will just be more stressful for her in the end. Otherwise I'd stay with her without even thinking about it.

[valkyriur.livejournal.com]

I'd be more likely to go to SoS, honestly. I don't have the greatest relationship with my mother, though.

I had planned to go see my mate (who I hadn't seen in 6 months) when she found out one of her cousins and died and she wanted to go to the funeral. My first thought was "Crap! I'll have to cancel my plans." I was already planning in my head how I could manage to get my 3 sisters to where they needed to be myself. Before I had even said anything, she just burst out about how selfish I was for worrying about if I could go see my mate, when she didn't even know what was going through my head. I stopped being considerate of her feelings at that point because she obviously wasn't being considerate of mine.

[flyboy-fox.livejournal.com]

I have a wonderful relationship with my mother, so I really do want to do what's right by her... I'm just not sure what the best thing to do is, given how I know she'll react when I tell her :\

[valkyriur.livejournal.com]

Your mother sounds a lot like my mother-in-law from what you're saying here. She would want you to go have fun, especially since you made the reservations. Definitely go talk to her and see how she feels about it. If you have a cell, maybe you could talk before and after, so you're in touch?

[tangyabominy.livejournal.com]

I say just tell your mom. That way, you've asked her what she feels, and she knows you care.

[flyboy-fox.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I guess I really do just need to talk to her... if she ever has a moment free. She's at work again right now, but I'll approach her about it as soon as she's home. I'll let her know that I would have no problem at all with staying and going to the appointment with her, and that SoS isn't important at all. But I have a feeling she'll insist on me going, anyway... that's just how she is, and fighting about it with her is not something I wanna do :\

[shadowdingo.livejournal.com]

My best piece of advice for you would be to talk to the main organisers, see what they say, then try to express your feelings to your mother.

Whatever you do, though, make sure it's what you want to do. You know you can grab me at any time if you do decide to go, right? Even if I can't offer much in terms of advice, I'm happy to be a listening ear.

I'm slightly worried about my mum too. She's going in for an operation on the 22nd. Though her knee replacement isn't as scary, I know I'll still be worrying.

Take care, okay? I am here, and will be there, if I'm ever required.

[inkedfeathers.livejournal.com]

Can you talk with them?

And won't the hotel give you back your money if you explain your situation to them? It'd be cruel if they didn't!

You should probably stay with your mother if you could. ♥

[valkyriur.livejournal.com]

Hotels will sometimes refund when it's a medical thing like this (I know the one I work at does). Sometimes they'll ask for paperwork for the appointment date for verification.

[pixellatedcake.livejournal.com]

I would do whatever makes the least stress for your mom in this difficult time. I know my mother is the same way and she would be more upset if she felt like she was ruining my plans than if I was actually there with her.

Here's what I say: Talk to her. She'll probably insist you go. So go. Call her before and then after. If the news is favorable, all is good. If for some reason (God forbid) it isn't, then explain what's happened and go home straight away to be with her! :) That's my two cents.

I'm sure you'll figure it out, and everything will be just fine!!! *hugs*

[flyboy-fox.livejournal.com]

Thanks for the input (: I did talk to her and I think we found a good compromise.

[pixellatedcake.livejournal.com]

Fabulous!! I'm so glad. :D

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