...?

[flyboy_fox]

I just realised something so fucked up that I actually laughed out loud when it occurred to me.

Friday 24th of June, next Friday, is the day I'm supposed to be travelling to London for Summer of Sonic.

I just realized that it's also the date of my mum's hospital appointment to see if the lumps in her breast are cancer.

I wanted to go to the hospital with her. I told her I would, before I realised (just now) that it clashed with London.

I know that when I tell her it's SoS weekend, she'll tell me to go to SoS, she'll INSIST, especially since my hotel is all booked and everything and I'm staffing. But how can I do that? And even if I do, how can I enjoy myself when I'm worrying myself sick about her?

I know there's an 80-90% chance that it's perfectly harmless. But I also know that my mum is scared, especially since some of the sampling procedures might be uncomfortable/painful. I know she'll be fine, but...

I don't know what the fuck to do.

It seems almost obvious to say "fuck SoS, I'm staying with my mum, she needs me", but I dunno if that'd be more stressful for her in the end... she'll get all upset about wasted money, and I know she'll blame herself for me not going and she'll feel guilty, no matter what I say. I don't know what to do, no sir I do not.

Comments

[flyboy-fox.livejournal.com]

Like I said above, my mum won't make it easy. She'll twist it so that she makes herself all guilty and then she'll be upset about the money :\ That's why I'm afraid insisting on staying will just be more stressful for her in the end. Otherwise I'd stay with her without even thinking about it.