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I just realised something so fucked up that I actually laughed out loud when it occurred to me.
Friday 24th of June, next Friday, is the day I'm supposed to be travelling to London for Summer of Sonic.
I just realized that it's also the date of my mum's hospital appointment to see if the lumps in her breast are cancer.
I wanted to go to the hospital with her. I told her I would, before I realised (just now) that it clashed with London.
I know that when I tell her it's SoS weekend, she'll tell me to go to SoS, she'll INSIST, especially since my hotel is all booked and everything and I'm staffing. But how can I do that? And even if I do, how can I enjoy myself when I'm worrying myself sick about her?
I know there's an 80-90% chance that it's perfectly harmless. But I also know that my mum is scared, especially since some of the sampling procedures might be uncomfortable/painful. I know she'll be fine, but...
I don't know what the fuck to do.
It seems almost obvious to say "fuck SoS, I'm staying with my mum, she needs me", but I dunno if that'd be more stressful for her in the end... she'll get all upset about wasted money, and I know she'll blame herself for me not going and she'll feel guilty, no matter what I say. I don't know what to do, no sir I do not.
Friday 24th of June, next Friday, is the day I'm supposed to be travelling to London for Summer of Sonic.
I just realized that it's also the date of my mum's hospital appointment to see if the lumps in her breast are cancer.
I wanted to go to the hospital with her. I told her I would, before I realised (just now) that it clashed with London.
I know that when I tell her it's SoS weekend, she'll tell me to go to SoS, she'll INSIST, especially since my hotel is all booked and everything and I'm staffing. But how can I do that? And even if I do, how can I enjoy myself when I'm worrying myself sick about her?
I know there's an 80-90% chance that it's perfectly harmless. But I also know that my mum is scared, especially since some of the sampling procedures might be uncomfortable/painful. I know she'll be fine, but...
I don't know what the fuck to do.
It seems almost obvious to say "fuck SoS, I'm staying with my mum, she needs me", but I dunno if that'd be more stressful for her in the end... she'll get all upset about wasted money, and I know she'll blame herself for me not going and she'll feel guilty, no matter what I say. I don't know what to do, no sir I do not.
no subject
Date: 2011-06-21 11:52 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-06-21 04:13 pm (UTC)