Oh. Well, that explains it. Welcome to my world, Miles :D

I don't want to do last night again in a hurry. It was a little scary, even if I think that there was never any real danger, or I hope not anyway.

Miles is not happy. In fact, I dare say he's desperately unhappy. But it's starting to make more sense now... after all, he's in my head, subject to the physical condition of my brain and body. And of course, it's mid-November. My winter depression is setting in hard. Of course he's going to be affected by that! Like it or not, soulbond, genuine entity or clinical split personality, he's an abnormal pattern in my brain, and that part of my brain is just as liable to be messed up by my FUBAR'd emotions this time of year.

( Depression crap )

I am feeling sorry for myself and that has been the status quo for a while now. I should try to think of better things to post about... oh. I found a Guernsey 1983 20p in my change a little while ago. I thought it looked odd so I looked it up. It had what looked to me like a hand-grenade on it. Turns out it's actually a milk-jug, where the Queen's head would normally be. A design that's not her head is pretty unusual, so it is a little rare, but sadly, it won't fetch more than £1 on eBay anyway. Still, it's interesting how Guernsey has its own version of the pound sterling. Apparently it's not actually 'legal tender' here on the mainland, but it's 'accepted tender' in most locations. I'd never seen one before, so it was news to me. Also, coin is older than me. I know that's not a super-rarity, since I'm only 26, but still, almost all the coins I see are from the 90's onwards.

Also, Jei's friend Kath brought over some flavoured tofu and vegan cheese spread which Jei said is really really good, so I'll have to try it later. See, I can talk about happy things!

One small request for help: I have had a really obnoxious song stuck in my head for about FOUR DAYS now. It just goes around and around. No matter what mood I'm in, what I'm thinking or doing, who's fronting, whatever it's THERE. I wake up daily with it repeating in my mind. Playing other music doesn't seem to have a lasting effect. Playing the song itself over and over to try to burn it out hasn't helped either. Any ideas as to how to purge it? It's making me a little twitchy eyyyeeed~ >.o;;

In better news... :D

I know I said I really need to lay off the alcohol for a while, but Miles, Jei and I ALL really want to try this. It sounds SO good:

Roasted Toasted Almond

The Roasted Toasted Almond (or Burnt Almond ) is roasted by adding vodka to a Toasted Almond. Both are relaxing sippers with a nice almond-coffee flavoring and are really nice on chilly fall evenings by the fire.

Ingredients:

    * 1 oz vodka
    * 1 oz coffee liqueur
    * 1 oz Amaretto
    * milk or cream

Preparation:

   1. Build the vodka and liqueurs in an old-fashioned glass filled with ice.
   2. Fill with milk or cream.
   3. Shake by placing a mixing tin over the glass and giving it one or two good shakes. 

God, it just sounds so yummy... and comforting. Perfect for a winter's eve. Unfortunately (fortunately?) we are still totally broke right now, so buying a bottle each of Smirnoff, Disoronno and Kahlua is going to be impossible for a while. But maybe it's something we could try around Christmastime! You know, along with Horchata... we really wanna try making that too. Inspired by Vampire Weekend of course (; *Sings*

In December, drinking horchata
I'd look psychotic in a balaclava
Winter's cold is too much to handle
Pincher crabs that pinch at your sandals

Here comes a feeling you thought you'd forgotten!
Chairs to sit and sidewalks to walk on
Oh you had it, but oh no, you lost it
Looking back you shouldn't have fought it

I love the instrumental selection in this song. It's all clinky and chimey and not the usual. Jei heard it a lot on the radio around this time last year when she was in London for two weeks doing work experience at Millennium FX. When she got home, we scoured BBC Radio's playlist and found it ♥

In other important news, I finally manned up and called my mum. One of us had to break the silence. It was coming up on a full month! Well, she SORTA did first by sending me a bunch of mail from the house with a kinda passive-aggressive note saying she was sending it on to me because she didn't know when she would see me next x.o Gee, I wonder why? But anyway, bygones be bygones. I called and chatted for a while. We didn't mention the whole weight issue, but I'm sure it'll come up again before I go home for Xmas. I did find out, though, that her job is making a 60% cost cut, so she's been looking for other work just in case. I highly doubt she'll be made redundant because she's very good at her job and one of the most experienced and professional people they have, but I can't blame her for being scared. I also found out that she visited my Great Aunt Ivy, the last remaining of my late Grandma's siblings and generation. She's 97 and apparently has advanced dementia. Very sad. 97 is a grand old age, but I have to wonder if life is worth hanging on to when you're that confused and afraid and have no idea where you are or who anyone is. I can only imagine it would be Hell.

I'm gonna try to get through this winter the best I can. I'm gonna try to help Miles get hold of some of the things he wants, to the best of my ability, because if he's somewhat content we'll all be a lot happier :P Also because I'm kind of curious to see if we CAN get hold of all the things on his eclectic little checklist.

Time for me to man up and stop feeling like a victim. I'll start by kicking these winter blues in the butt. Miles better work with me on this because frankly I'm done with just dealing with his attitude. I know I made a lot of mistakes with him in the past, didn't respect him, forced my ideals on him and pushed him back. But I'm not going to be forced into a chokehold just because he's in a bad mood and can't decide if he wants to kill me, himself, or random people on the street. Get a grip, guy. I always admired the control and self-restraint he had. Where did that go? Yeah, I'll grant him that he's not used to the crazy electrical storm in my brain every winter, but he's gonna have to just deal with it. I'll do what I can for us both and for Jei so she doesn't have to suffer me too much either, but it's gotta be a team effort, like it or not, or everything's just gonna fall apart. Maybe he thinks that's what he wants because he's pissed and confused right now, but I doubt it really. I'm sure he'll be back to normal soon because I actually have faith in him, stupid me ♥

Now I actually feel a bit better. Cathartic and somewhat optimistic post was cathartic and somewhat optimistic. (: