Hmmmm....

[flyboy_fox]

I'm working on the looong post about me and Jei last week ^^; It's taking a while. But I'll get it up on LJ soon.

I'm wondering if I come across sometimes as annoyingly simpering and/or subservient sometimes, and then uptight and condescending at others :\ It worries me, because other people are mainly laid back and don't seem so concerned about the 'right' way of doing things. Whereas I'm very concerned. And I'm not just like that with strangers... while Jei was here, it even extended to her. She ends up having to ask me if it's okay for her to check email on my computer or even get a drink, because I'm so anal about 'rules' ._. One time she took a soda from the fridge without telling me she was going to, and I got really weird and made her feel bad for not asking :\ I hate that about myself. I want her to feel comfortable in my home, so she can feel that she can use things and 'live' here like a family member. Because she IS family.

And then, I was in college the other day, and I needed to get my enrollment finalized, so my tutor ended up having to help me out after the class. I felt really guilty for taking up her time, because it was her 15 minute tea-break and it's about the 5th time she's had to take time out to help me with this (I enrolled late, so all my paperwork had to be done in bitty pieces), so I was apologizing profusely, telling her I was sorry for being an inconvenience again, and she said "I'm going to hit you in minute". She said it in a joking way, but it did make me think that sometimes I can be annoying. I kinda have issues with being anal retentive and overly obsessed with politeness sometimes. If it makes me seem like a servile sycophant at times... well... that's just eww :\ And if it makes me seem like I have a stick up my ass at other times, well, double eww x.x I don't want to be that way at all. I wish I knew how to be more casual about things.

I think I'm just horribly anal retentive, obsessed with rules and the 'right' way of doing things, and totally unable to chill out x.x

Comments

[twitchytwitch.livejournal.com]

99 Luftballoons, OH MY GOD. xD ^^ ... I don't think you're that way at all! ;0; -cling- At least, you never were to me. Or I never saw you that way. ^^;;;
I've thought you were awesome since I was twelve and then some. :3

Well, just think about how important that thing is in the grand scheme of things!
That's how I got over my obsession with stepping on the right tiles.

...... Though, sometimes I see people just walking around like they can't even SEE the tiles and I go a little nuts. I almost threw myself off the stairs because I wanted to get down there and push them until they walked 'right' on the tiles.

I didn't jump though! I just sort of leaned over...

...... ^^;;;; Okay, I'm not the best person to get advice from.

[flyboy-fox.livejournal.com]

What's wrong with 99 Luftballoons? ^^;;

Nice self-restraint with the tiles situation ^^ Mostly tiles just make me dizzy and I can't even look at them without feeling like the floor is moving underneath me ^^;;

[twitchytwitch.livejournal.com]

Nothing, nothing! I was just pleasantly surprised that you liked that song. xD

^^;
That happens with me and the ocean. God, I /LOVE/ the sea and the beach, I really do, but just standing there and watching the waves... I really feel like the shore's getting farther and farther away. ^^;;

[sphix.livejournal.com]

Yeah, 99 Luftballoons freakin' rocks!

Hey, some people enjoy order and rules more than others. It's just quirks. I sometimes feel bad because I did something where I should have asked someone first (using someone's computer, etc.). Sometimes I wish I wasn't so laid back :P. But it's a part of who we are.

But if it comes down to it, people change themselves for the better all the time. Next time, I'll be sure to ask before using my friend's computer. But keep in mind that if you want to change something about yourself, that you're only doing it for YOU. If you're comfortable being who you are, then the world needs to accept you, not the other way around.

In the end, I've never met you, so my line of thinking here could be way off (and if it is, please forgive me). But I find that the only way to stay sane in today's world is to be yourself.

Remember, my cyberdoor's always open to talk, Jai. (I think that might become my new saying/policy.) You'll be fine :D

PS I'm reminded of that episode of Sonic X where they were all stuck on the ship for a week or so, and everyone, including Sonic, had to learn to just kick back and relax... Not sure if it's relevant or not...

[flyboy-fox.livejournal.com]

Thanks ^^ I just get very worried that I'll end up somehow making people dislike me x.x I've never been popular, so when I _do_ get friends, I want to make sure I keep them ^^;;

Aha, that episode of Sonic X was crazy XD Poor Sonic, surrounded by all that water... @_@

[lunarocean777.livejournal.com]

Well, I don't think it's something that you need to really be concerned about. The thing you mentioned with Jei asking you stuff - if you're anal about certain things like that sometimes and you don't really know why, then yeah, I think it may not be a bad idea to try an ease up a bit. It kinda sounds like a bit of an obsessive compulsive sort of thingy. You mention the 'rules,' but do you know why they're rules? Do you have a reason for those aside from something like It's how I've done it in the past? If not, then as others have said, it's a quirk. And quirks are quirky, heh. We know it's a small thing, but it still bugs us.

And that's fine - we've all got some. Only thing to say is...well, what Twitchytwitch said - if you can tell it's a quirk that's bugging you, try to take a look at the bigger picture. It helps a bit, hopefully long enough for something else to happen that'll push that quirk to the back of your mind for the time being.

Politeness, some will get annoyed by it, but anyone who gets angry is silly. Almost everyone I've met will always appreciate someone being polite even if they're getting annoyed after hearing it for 20th time. The other person says it's ok, but we still feel bad about it and keep apologizing. Maybe it's a drive to be sincere - could be a few other things. Point is, you're not going to sound lke a sycophant because of it (I had to look that one up ;_; ).

Ramblings aside, in the end, just try to be yourself. We get hung up on little thing like this, fearing that everyone will focus only on them. They won't, if they're good people. I'm sure I've got some things about me that bug you, but hey, we're still here, aren't we? ^^; You'll be fine :)

[flyboy-fox.livejournal.com]

You're right of course, Lunar ^^ Guess I was just in a bit of a slump today and getting hung up over little things. None of my friends here have disowned me yet, so I guess that's a good sign that I'm not doing anything too wrong ^^;

[lunarocean777.livejournal.com]

Seems like we're all in a slump today, heh. I always wondered what it felt like to fail a test ^^;

And yup, you're being great just by being you :)

[flyboy-fox.livejournal.com]

;_; You failed? Aww... that's no good. ::Hugs:: Is it gonna impact hugely on anything?

[lunarocean777.livejournal.com]

Given that there were three questions, I couldn't answer one, and my other two are very likely wrong, I can't see myself getting more than a 50 on it. It'll have a huge effect on my grade for sure, but I don't know how big of an effect it'll have in the end. There's probably going to be something near the end like 'Get an A on the final and I'll replace your lowest test with it.' That's a pretty common thing to see in our department. Course, that requires getting an A there :P

I think it's about 20% of my grade...so it's not death dealing, but damn it hurts. If something like that happens again it'll be very difficult for me to pass ^^;

[flyboy-fox.livejournal.com]

Sounds like it could be quite a blow ;_; But it also seems like you'll be able to recover and still pass, provided nothing else goes too wrong ^^ So, hopefully it'll be okay. Good luck!

[lunarocean777.livejournal.com]

Thanks ^^

[shaboba330.livejournal.com]

Awwww, you're not anal retentive. Everyone just has their quirks, that's all ^_^ but since you want to change that about yourself, maybe you should channel that into taking the time to work on it ^^

[flyboy-fox.livejournal.com]

I am anal-retentive XD; You don't even know... @_@
But you're right, if I dislike it about myself, I should work to change it ^_^ I'm sure I can become more laid-back if I just make an effort with chilling out and not being so serious about everything :P

[shaboba330.livejournal.com]

Definately ^_^ and if you like, I could do it with you, since I tend to be a bit anal myself about certain things n.n;; (going in my room without permission for example x_x)

[flyboy-fox.livejournal.com]

SUPPORT GROUP! ... n.n

[shaboba330.livejournal.com]

lol yes!! :D We will definately need to start a support group for we anal retentive people lol

[(Anonymous)]

"Make an effort with chilling out," ROFL, that's the truest oxymoron I've ever heard. ~_*

[sphix.livejournal.com]

^Crap, that was me, sorry :P^

[flyboy-fox.livejournal.com]

XD s'okay, happens to everyone.

And yeah, I guess that kinda was an oxymoron, yet it _does_ take effort to stay chill ^^; Funny, that.

[sphix.livejournal.com]

It's true on so many levels... Like keeping cool when I found out I had a Chemistry test today at 2:00 when I walked in at ten after. That required a good deal of effort to stay chill :D

[leonskennedy827.livejournal.com]

Don't worry, I can be like that sometimes too. Okay maybe not the whole soda thing (No offence ^^;) but the whole thing with politness and such. I get REALLY worried about offending people, always saying "no offence" paticulary to Liam (IRL Friend from school)

[flyboy-fox.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I guess it's a common fear ^^

[leonskennedy827.livejournal.com]

Luckily I only really care if people I'm friends with get offended, in all honesty most of the people I'm around couldn't give a shit if they offended me, so... XD

I actually think I annoyed Liam once with how much I was saying "No offence" XD