Emo icon is appropriate even though Jai is not remotely 'emo'.

[flyboy_fox]

Round-up time! ^^

The good: Jei and I saw Toy Story 3 today, at long last! It was so awesome. I didn't cry at the end, but it was damn close... my eyes were stinging with almost-tears. The perfect conclusion to the saga, I thought ♥ We also hung out with Josh (SSMB's Urthheart / head of security at SoS) all morning and he bought us lunch at Wetherspoons (: He gets a massive staff discount there, but it was still awfully kind of him. Mmm, all day breakfast~

The great: I'm making some money on selling stuff, and it's working out pretty good (: I might actually be able to pay this month's rent AND pay off last month's from my credit card too! Assuming all these sales go through ^^

The bad: We missed all of the Bournemouth Air Show :\ We didn't get to come back to Bournemouth until Sunday late afternoon. Most of the show got pissed on anyway. Damn rain. I heard a lot of it was cancelled so I guess I didn't miss too much. Really had wanted to check out the [s]consoles, whoa![/s] stalls and vendors though. Aww well. Next year, eh?

The... yeah, well:


So, yeah. Miles and Jei's Scourge can apparently 'front' in person very well now. Scourge still does it a lot less often and for much shorter bursts. He's less intense and less all-or-nothing about it. There's a few things that will get to him, but mostly he's just really laid back and lazy, just watching the world go by through Jei's eyes, and interjecting whenever he sees fit. He and Jei seem to 'time-share' a lot more smoothly and easily than Miles and I. Miles tends to be very quiet for days at a time, then he'll suddenly decide to take over and he won't let go until he's quite done, which can be anything from a few hours to a couple of days. It can be pretty disruptive in some ways, but for the most part it's all right as he and Jei/Sonic get along okay.

I still get that exploring-this-world-and-this-life-for-the-first-time vibe from him when he fronts. He's generally a little clumsy for the first hour or so (well, more-so than my usual XD), and he definitely likes to do things that I don't normally do. He eats more fruit than me for a start ^^; Which in itself is an odd thing. I haven't eaten pears or apples with the skin on since I was a child, because I have a problem with my jaw that was identified when I was little, where my teeth don't meet correctly. So I've never 'been able' to eat things like apples and pears without peeling and cutting 'em, because I can't bite them or chew the skin properly. Or so I thought. Miles has no issue, however, so I guess the problem was actually entirely psychosomatic o.o My body clearly CAN eat un-peeled fruit. Lol. Thanks, Miles, I guess? Seriously. Have not 'been able' to do that, ever. Except that apparently I can =D Yay.

He also likes just walking and exploring. I'm a lazy fucker who sits at a computer all day and never exercises. Miles loves to go out and explore. For example, we were still in Bleadon, he was having a dialogue with Jei where he was being his usual arrogant self and telling her, disdainfully, that he didn't care much for this world and that it was boring him. So she told him that he's seen so little of it that he can't possibly judge it so quickly. So he decided right then to see more of it and just buggered off without her out of the house and walked to this hill up past the village that looks out over all of North Somerset. It was around sunset time and the view was magnificent. I found out that Miles, despite being a brat, IS perfectly capable of appreciating a really nice view. He seemed almost hypnotized by it, like he'd never seen anything like it before. I got the impression that there's not much like that left in his own world, or at least the world he claims to hail from. Then he was... uh... just kinda running all around up there, climbing over things and jumping on things and exploring like a little kid ^^; Apparently he's not afraid of the cows (and bulls!) who reside up there the way I am. They make me so nervous, but Miles is fine around them. I actually got the sense, for once, that he was really... happy, I guess. Just, really free and happy up there on that hill at sunset by himself. And since I hate to go for long walks or exert energy, I certainly don't have a problem with him doing that for me once in a while since he seems to like it so much :P

So yeah, that time worked out okay. But what's NOT okay is for him to use my arm as paper and sharp implements as a pen >_> Miles has serious issues over 'owning' this body and leaving a mark on it, I guess. But he also just kinda likes pain and bloodshedding, because he's a (non-canon x.x) psycho that way. He has a seriously deep ingrained sadomasochistic streak that kinda worries me, especially since lately he's been obsessing over getting himself a knife/dagger. But yeah. It pissed me off a bit because while I'm not _seriously_ injured, I do have gashes on my arm that don't look good and are gonna have to be hidden by long sleeves until they heal if I'm gonna get a job.

Now, I think anyone who's known me a while knows about my own history with 'cutting'. During the freak-outs I've had in the past, I've left marks on my face and arms by scratching them up pretty bad. But here's a confession - I'm a weak WEAK self-harmer. Here's what I've always done: Only scratched on the back of my arm, not the underside/wrist. I'm always afraid I might cut a vein if I did that. Only cut across, like ///// rather than down the length of the arm like ====. And, wussiest of all, only 'cut' by scratching over and over with a slightly blunt 'edge' until it's scratched raw like a graze and bleeds a little. That's how I've always done it. Afraid of pain, tentative, careful not to overdo it. It looks nasty, but it's not deep, just surface grazes.

Miles is so different :\ Or maybe he's just me without inhibitions. He's not afraid at all. He's obviously got issues, like me, but in a different way. He just slashes a neat line that breaks the skin instantly and draws blood, on the underside/wrist of my arm, and straight down the length. Like criss-crossing train-tracks down my arm. My arm looks worse than any times I've spazzed and 'self-harmed', yet there was no freak-out, no bad emotions, nothing. Just a very cool and calm logical methodicalness to it. I dunno why he needed to do that. It wasn't any kind of attention thing (even though by talking about it I guess I'm drawing attention to it myself? x.o), nor any kind of rage or sorrow thing. More like just a fun thing to do because he enjoys the feeling of pain, likes seeing me/himself bleed, and wanted to leave a semi-lasting mark on me I guess. WTF, bah.

I don't feel messed up or even that upset over it, since it looks worse than it really is and is just a bit sore. I'm just kinda pissed and concerned about how far he might go if he decides to randomly 'experiment' on me again, since he just doesn't seem to have the wussy pain and squeamishness barriers that I have. Please don't cut me again, Miles >_> It's totally uncool and you just seem like a silly little emo kid, as you don't have any reason at all to do it :P

I'm not going to let it become habit. Because it's stupid, unnecessary, and did I mention stupid?

Aaanyway, enough of that. I guess I'll get to bed now since we're off to look at sewing machines tomorrow so we can really get this doll-making business off the ground =D My mum offered to buy it for us, which was really awesome of her. Also, back to the Town Hall. And to the post office to mail out more stuff that people have bought! Yay! G'night, LJ~ (:

Comments

[shadowdingo.livejournal.com]

Not really having these sorts of experiences, I may not have much of use to say, but here goes anyway.

From what I've read, it sounds like he's quite the curious guy. A little curious, and maybe a bit masochistic as well. It may be that he does these things you don't usually do because he wants to see what they're like for himself. Like when Jei said he hadn't seen much of the world to judge, he may have suddenly been interested to find out what she meant by that, thus the big walk. And with the cutting thing, that may have been a curiosity thing too, wanting to know what it would feel like if he did actually slash instead of just scratch.

Urp, I'm not making much sense. x.o I'll just leave you with a "best wishes for tomorrow" and crawl off to bed myself.

[flyboy-fox.livejournal.com]

He knew what would happen :P He just likes doing it. But he's gonna have to respect that there's things he's not allowed to do to MY body, and injuring it that way is one of 'em.

Also thanks! ^^

[shadowdingo.livejournal.com]

Ah, fair enough there. Having no experience of it myself, my knowledge isn't brilliant. ^^;;

I'm also glad to hear it doesn't hurt as badly as it looks. With it getting colder now, it's actually a good idea to wear long sleeved tops to keep warm. And I'll make a note to never mention some parts of Wales as I fear what may happen to your already suffering bank balance if Miles wants to see the world. :P

[flyboy-fox.livejournal.com]

I'd love to see more of Wales myself actually ^^ I've only seen it in passing, when I went to look at Unis in Wales or when we have to pass through parts of Wales to go up north. One day, eh? Jei and I are planning on visiting Ireland again soon, too, which is another beautiful place ♥

[shadowdingo.livejournal.com]

Let me know if you ever end up in the neighbourhood again, then. :) If we do meet up again, at least you won't be asking yourself what I look like. XD I know of a couple of mountains and hills near to where I live that are really nice. There's a nice little forest walk right around the back of my house too, with the option of walking through the trees and overlooking a small part of the Afon Llwyd.

Hope you both enjoy Ireland though. I agree, it is a beauty of a place. I often go there with my dancing group, and I end up taking a bunch of photos.

[sletia.livejournal.com]

Ah, well, you did say he knew how to hurt without serious injury so let's *hope* no main arteries are cut. ^^; Just uh, apply pressure and elevate the arm if it gushes, eheh. Veins just ooze, so, you don't have to worry about blood loss as much.
His universe was pretty fucked over, wasn't it? :/ Maybe you should go hiking, go on some really nice trails in the woods. Early morning is absolutely gorgeous. *nodnod*

[flyboy-fox.livejournal.com]

XD;; He's stupid but not 'STUPID'... he's not gonna cut a main artery. He doesn't have a death wish.

There are some nice woodland trails around. Shame I'm too lazy to check them out :P Maybe some day.

[sletia.livejournal.com]

I thought he was a genius. ;)
Yes! You should! Another good idea is to go out on a clear starry night and just stare at the sky. I could do it for hours.

[flyboy-fox.livejournal.com]

Genius? Pff. Am I a genius? :D (Clue: The answer is no.)

The starry night thing we have already done. Miles actually climbed out of the window to stare at the sky one night @_@ We get the most AMAZING clear nights in Bleadon since it's basically a tiny farm village in the middle of nowhere with no light pollution or anything.

Bournemouth, where I am now, is a city... so... not so pretty :\

[way-past-cool.livejournal.com]

Ohhhh Miles Miles Miles. e.e Such a little kid sometimes. Seriously. He seems so out to prove something. And always to do the opposite of what he's asked. I'm not gonna make any inflamatory comparrisons, but yeah. He can be interesting company when he's not doing shit like that.

XD; Lazy Scourge? Yeah... maybe. Sitting on his damn laurels like he still has them.

[flyboy-fox.livejournal.com]

He's contrary. And he thinks he has every right to do whatever the heck he wants if the mood takes him, because he 'owns' this body now. He doesn't know how to share the way Scourge does. Or he's just too proud to ever concede to me :\ Who knows. He's a brat but eh.

XD Scourge still thinks he's King, hmm? Even now? Lazy AND delusional :P

[way-past-cool.livejournal.com]

He'll always think he's king, with or without the crown. XD

I think Miles has a LOT of pride issues, and it definitely compounds things with the issues he has about YOU. But he can be reasonable... I think as long as he's SURE he's not being coerced in any way. Has to be his decision.

[flyboy-fox.livejournal.com]

Does he still think he's king when he's pinned down and-- Maybe I shouldn't finish that sentence XD;;

Yeah. That's the thing about Miles. He's unpredictable. He can be totally reasonable and mature about stuff, more so than me at times, but then he can do random stupid things that defy explanation just because he CAN. He's testing the limits, I know that, and I'd do the same if I was in his situation.

He also clings SO hard to things. You told him you'd have no problem if he got himself a knife/dagger XD Now I doubt he'll give it a rest until he's in possession of one.

[kalium-kx.livejournal.com]

I have'nt read this proper..in a rush..i understand you're..uhm..busy but can you respond to my sale post since i'm buying much more stuff from you than just that jacket anyway..

[flyboy-fox.livejournal.com]

I'm back in Bournemouth and don't have most of that stuff here with me I'm afraid. I've been systematically replying to the dozens of people asking me about stuff, but I didn't get back to you yet because I'm waiting for my mum to get back to ME about whether she can send any of that stuff either to me or directly out ^^; That's why I haven't replied to you yet, since you mostly asked about stuff that is in my family home 4 hours away.

[kalium-kx.livejournal.com]

Okay how about the jacket at least?
You could theoretically at least answer the question i asked about the shipping and the box so i can figure out what to send to UK and Singapore and eliminate some stuff even if it may take a while it buys me some time..

[flyboy-fox.livejournal.com]

I gave you a shipping estimate for the jacket and for the jacket plus box. The other stuff... well, I'm selling this stuff to make rent, so offers of two or three pounds per item aren't really enough for me to part with my rare and beloved items ^^; As far as the cost of the moneybox itself... I turned down £100 for it, so £20 is definitely not enough. The ONLY reason I am selling these things that I love is so that I won't be homeless or in trouble with my landlord, so I can only except amounts that will actually help me to avoid that fate ^^;;

[inkedfeathers.livejournal.com]

TS3 sounds so awesome.

I'm glad you discovered you have the ability to eat unpeeled fruits like that, though.

I'm glad you didn't get seriously injured!

[flyboy-fox.livejournal.com]

You haven't seen TS3 yet? You need to! It's great! ♥

And thanks XD

[inkedfeathers.livejournal.com]

I haven't been anywhere recently. Just at home. x3; I can't see it, until we go to a place with a theater.

♥ You're very much welcome.

[flyboy-fox.livejournal.com]

Aww, well I hope you get to see it eventually (: I loved it.

[kalium-kx.livejournal.com]

Surprisingly to get me at that point, the movie was'nt Toy Story 3 but Despicable Me. Different ppl, different reactions but Toy story was the 2nd movie i ever watched period so i'm still a huge fan of Buzz..and 2 is my lucky/fave no.

I'm making some money on selling stuff, and it's working out pretty good (:

Largely thanks to whom?hmmm?

Just my lil' joke

Yeah you still need help but I have an innocent question..Is Miles actually a self-defense mechanism against guilt cos' everything seems fall in place almost perfectly..

[flyboy-fox.livejournal.com]

Self-defence mechanism against guilt? Not sure what you mean by that XD

But yes, you're helping me a LOT ♥

BTW, shipping within the UK for the two items works out at around £25 (:

[kalium-kx.livejournal.com]

It just seems to be a natural part of you..you did say two sides of the same coin..but i kinda mean like a part of your consciousness which is actually free or at most much more free from guilt..which pretty much explains most of his traits down to a fine line..

I have a sort of split persona..rather an alter-ego thing as well..just saying

Really?..It's almost done now..confirm that shipping to singapore would be 75 and 25 for UK?

[flyboy-fox.livejournal.com]

£25 for the UK, £100 for Singapore. £75 was for just the jacket. "The money box would bump shipping up to £100 as it means I have to use a significantly larger box (the jacket can be folded quite flat)." <-- what I said in the other thread. Shipping to Singapore is so darn expensive ):