I don't even know.
Jul. 30th, 2010 02:03 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
flyboy_foxGoing back home to Bleadon today. Long car journeys, blech. Gotta make sure I have everything packed ready for SoS.
I'm so tired. Sick of... everything. Everything in my head, everything outside of my head, everything.
I'd like to sleep for a week and then wake up as a normal non-fucked up human being. I want my life back, or at least I would if I'd had one to begin with. I don't wanna *do* this any more.
Get off the internet for a while. Try not to think about or encourage... stuff. It's all in my head and... I don't want anyone to encourage it. It's fucking me up and fucking me over.
For what it's worth, bad fanfiction or role-play is EXACTLY what I want it to be. It makes it easily laughable, that way. Maybe that's even what I wanted, otherwise I wouldn't have had 'him' post here rather than in his own damn LJ. Who knows. Thank you, anyhow. 'He' was a little pissed and insulted, but I'm not. Not really. Not at all.
Gotta stop, take a breath, not let things get 'real'. Jei will be home soon, then it'll be easier to forget. Time to cut myself off from 'Fic'kin' society again. It's not, and never was, healthy for me.
I felt like I was locked out of my body for 2 days. Couldn't talk to Jei. Couldn't talk to my mum. You just can't...
Long story short; get out of my head, Miles. You're not real. You're not even *convincing*. I don't want to end up stark raving bonkers in an asylum.
Gonna leave the 'kin comms again. Thinking about de-friending people who I only know through 'kin comms and because of 'Miles' (if I do, please don't take it personally. Mostly we don't even talk and I need to preserve (what's left of) my sanity.)
I let things go too far. I'm obsessive and stupid and damn I'm probably gonna end up in an asylum anyway. I think the only thing I CAN do is cut myself off from soulbonding and fic'kin stuff.
Heh, even as I'm writing this, 'Miles' is sneering at me and calling me a stupid incompetent fuck. Laughing. Haha. Yeah, it's so fucking funny, brain. God, I must hate myself pretty bad on some subconscious level.
Well, gotta go pack now. Home sweet home in just a few short hours. It will be really nice to see my cat again. I missed you, Foxie.
Laters.
Edit: I have some icons that, whilst still foxes, are not Tails. This helps, I think.
I'm so tired. Sick of... everything. Everything in my head, everything outside of my head, everything.
I'd like to sleep for a week and then wake up as a normal non-fucked up human being. I want my life back, or at least I would if I'd had one to begin with. I don't wanna *do* this any more.
Get off the internet for a while. Try not to think about or encourage... stuff. It's all in my head and... I don't want anyone to encourage it. It's fucking me up and fucking me over.
For what it's worth, bad fanfiction or role-play is EXACTLY what I want it to be. It makes it easily laughable, that way. Maybe that's even what I wanted, otherwise I wouldn't have had 'him' post here rather than in his own damn LJ. Who knows. Thank you, anyhow. 'He' was a little pissed and insulted, but I'm not. Not really. Not at all.
Gotta stop, take a breath, not let things get 'real'. Jei will be home soon, then it'll be easier to forget. Time to cut myself off from 'Fic'kin' society again. It's not, and never was, healthy for me.
I felt like I was locked out of my body for 2 days. Couldn't talk to Jei. Couldn't talk to my mum. You just can't...
Long story short; get out of my head, Miles. You're not real. You're not even *convincing*. I don't want to end up stark raving bonkers in an asylum.
Gonna leave the 'kin comms again. Thinking about de-friending people who I only know through 'kin comms and because of 'Miles' (if I do, please don't take it personally. Mostly we don't even talk and I need to preserve (what's left of) my sanity.)
I let things go too far. I'm obsessive and stupid and damn I'm probably gonna end up in an asylum anyway. I think the only thing I CAN do is cut myself off from soulbonding and fic'kin stuff.
Heh, even as I'm writing this, 'Miles' is sneering at me and calling me a stupid incompetent fuck. Laughing. Haha. Yeah, it's so fucking funny, brain. God, I must hate myself pretty bad on some subconscious level.
Well, gotta go pack now. Home sweet home in just a few short hours. It will be really nice to see my cat again. I missed you, Foxie.
Laters.
Edit: I have some icons that, whilst still foxes, are not Tails. This helps, I think.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2010-07-30 10:51 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-07-30 10:56 pm (UTC)