KIN DRAMUS OMG

[flyboy_fox]

---IN THIS POST: JAI IS A BITCH AND POSSIBLY A HYPOCRITE---

Edit: Still pissed, but being a bitch isn't gonna help anyone, and nor is shaming someone in a way that's painfully self-righteous. So, content removed.

Comments

Le grand siiiigh~

[flyboy-fox.livejournal.com]

I'm sure she'll see the comment, but seriously, tell her yourself.

I also didn't appreciate you telling me that I would have to explain to Carrie why you weren't responding to her emails about the commission.

Take some responsibility for yourself and your issues.

Re: Le grand siiiigh~

[sletia.livejournal.com]

All right. I told Carrie myself already. I just figured Sonic wouldn't make it possible for me to contact her.

Re: Le grand siiiigh~

[flyboy-fox.livejournal.com]

I'm glad you talked to Carrie.

As far as I'm aware, Jei hasn't blocked you or anything like that. There's gtalk, her LJ, LJ PMs...

Not that it really matters now anyway. To be honest, she wasn't bothered at all. I'm the one who got pissed.

Re: Le grand siiiigh~

[sletia.livejournal.com]

I am really sorry, Tails. I know I've been saying that a lot lately, and that probably makes it seem less sincere, but I really truly am. I never wanted to hurt you.

Re: Le grand siiiigh~

[flyboy-fox.livejournal.com]

I'm not hurt. Just deeply annoyed. You know how it is, though, as you've said about you and Mordax. You DON'T mess with someone's bro (or their partner).

Additionally, the 'kin community already has enough of a rep for being a bunch of self-righteous assholes who cry about how bad their problems are but attack anyone who suggests, even gently and helpfully, that perhaps there are alternative explanations.

Bad enough to attack a random stranger, but when a friend puts time and effort into trying to help you, only to be ignored for days, their posts unacknowledged, and then included in a universal "FUCK YOU I HATE EVERYONE" explosion... well yeah. I'm not gonna lie. Fuckin' pissed.

Re: Le grand siiiigh~

[sletia.livejournal.com]

*nod* Honestly I read your long post many times. It made absolute sense. I was more angry at myself.. angry for being weak, angry for fooling myself into believing something ridiculous.. all of it.
I won't make excuses for my behavior. I'm emotional, and I need to learn to just keep things like that to myself until it blows over. I was struggling and it slipped out during a moment of frustration.
I do appreciate the long post. In fact, it was just a bitter pill to swallow. Because you were right. Absolutely. I have my weaknesses and they all came out in a big mess. A need to be validated, a need to have someone hold my hand, a wish to belong, someone that cares about my trifles.
I fell in love with a universe and wanted to belong so badly I began deluding myself. I know that now. I attached myself to someone that means nothing to me, and vice versa. When that fell through, my brain scrambled for something, anything, to connect me to your world. It was so real that I believed it. You bitch-slapped me into reality again. It angered me, but I know now that was EXACTLY what I needed.
Thank you.

Re: Le grand siiiigh~

[flyboy-fox.livejournal.com]

All right. Well, there was no need for me to shame you publicly, so I've edited out the post. I can be reactionary too and frankly I shouldn't have exploded like that. Anyway, I hope that you can move on now.

Re: Le grand siiiigh~

[sletia.livejournal.com]

I hope someday we can be friends again.

Re: Le grand siiiigh~

[flyboy-fox.livejournal.com]

I may have overreacted, but my annoyance was building up over days. But anyway, you said yourself that you didn't think you should talk to Jei or me for a while, so I took that as a cue that you'd rather not have us around right now anyway.

Re: Le grand siiiigh~

[sletia.livejournal.com]

Only because I was afraid I would say something stupid again, or that I would get irrationally angry and use you as a punching bag like I did to poor Jei. But I will work through this, and I appreciate having you along to be there for me, and to smack me when I need it... because you're my dear friend.
(And I can absolutely see why your annoyance was building up. Shit, I would have blown up at me too. I'm surprised you handled it for as long as you did, quite frankly.)

Re: Le grand siiiigh~

[flyboy-fox.livejournal.com]

Perhaps you should do what you said you needed to do and take a break from the Sonic fandom, cleanse it from your system with other stuff so that there's no danger that you'll become reliant on Miles or Shadow or anyone else again...

I like you best when you're your own person and I felt like we really connected for a while after the whole 'being honest about who we really are' thing. But then when you got super-obsessed with our world and with Miles and Scourge and Knux etc I started to feel like I was just here to bridge a connection for you.

Maybe things will resolve back to how they were. I shouldn't have let Miles take advantage of you while you were vulnerable in the aftermath of accepting how far from hellmaster you are, so for that I do apologise.

Re: Le grand siiiigh~

[sletia.livejournal.com]

Remember a couple years back, when I saw the live-action Transformers movie and went absolutely apeshit over it? I was feeling a kinship with Blackout or Barricade, began entertaining the possibility of being him in a past life?
That's what happened here. Only this time I actually knew people legitimately from the universe, so it turned into the mess we're looking at now.
I don't know if you call it an obsessive personality, or what. Maybe I just grasp at anything that could be me because I want so badly to find my true self. I hope someday this manner of thinking goes away.
At least, we are still being honest with each other. That never stopped.