KIN DRAMUS OMG

[flyboy_fox]

---IN THIS POST: JAI IS A BITCH AND POSSIBLY A HYPOCRITE---

Edit: Still pissed, but being a bitch isn't gonna help anyone, and nor is shaming someone in a way that's painfully self-righteous. So, content removed.

Comments

[eileanach.livejournal.com]

Not that I fully understand your kin fandom. I have heard there are a lot of people who join and "fake" it and attention seek as a result. Bit sad really but I guess you get them all over the web now.

[flyboy-fox.livejournal.com]

I'm sure that a lot of people might think I 'fake' it too, like an elaborate role-play. But hey, I admit that it DOES seem ridiculous. No one is obligated to believe my shit just because I say it's true.

But what's infinitely worse is when someone ACTS like they're struggling with a potential new 'occupant' of their thought space that they'd like to be rid of, but then bitches at anyone who dares suggest that it might not be real.

I'm sure it's some sort of reverse psychology, but really. If someone asks for help, I'll be honest and not just cater to their whims. I would expect anyone else to do the same for me.

[sletia.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry. You're absolutely right. There is no excuse for me to be lashing out at everything just because I'm not feeling like myself. Tell Sonic I'm sorry I was a bitch to her.
Thanks for being my friend through the years. I'll miss you.

Le grand siiiigh~

[flyboy-fox.livejournal.com]

I'm sure she'll see the comment, but seriously, tell her yourself.

I also didn't appreciate you telling me that I would have to explain to Carrie why you weren't responding to her emails about the commission.

Take some responsibility for yourself and your issues.

Re: Le grand siiiigh~

[sletia.livejournal.com]

All right. I told Carrie myself already. I just figured Sonic wouldn't make it possible for me to contact her.

Re: Le grand siiiigh~

[flyboy-fox.livejournal.com]

I'm glad you talked to Carrie.

As far as I'm aware, Jei hasn't blocked you or anything like that. There's gtalk, her LJ, LJ PMs...

Not that it really matters now anyway. To be honest, she wasn't bothered at all. I'm the one who got pissed.

Re: Le grand siiiigh~

[sletia.livejournal.com]

I am really sorry, Tails. I know I've been saying that a lot lately, and that probably makes it seem less sincere, but I really truly am. I never wanted to hurt you.

Re: Le grand siiiigh~

[flyboy-fox.livejournal.com]

I'm not hurt. Just deeply annoyed. You know how it is, though, as you've said about you and Mordax. You DON'T mess with someone's bro (or their partner).

Additionally, the 'kin community already has enough of a rep for being a bunch of self-righteous assholes who cry about how bad their problems are but attack anyone who suggests, even gently and helpfully, that perhaps there are alternative explanations.

Bad enough to attack a random stranger, but when a friend puts time and effort into trying to help you, only to be ignored for days, their posts unacknowledged, and then included in a universal "FUCK YOU I HATE EVERYONE" explosion... well yeah. I'm not gonna lie. Fuckin' pissed.

Re: Le grand siiiigh~

[sletia.livejournal.com]

*nod* Honestly I read your long post many times. It made absolute sense. I was more angry at myself.. angry for being weak, angry for fooling myself into believing something ridiculous.. all of it.
I won't make excuses for my behavior. I'm emotional, and I need to learn to just keep things like that to myself until it blows over. I was struggling and it slipped out during a moment of frustration.
I do appreciate the long post. In fact, it was just a bitter pill to swallow. Because you were right. Absolutely. I have my weaknesses and they all came out in a big mess. A need to be validated, a need to have someone hold my hand, a wish to belong, someone that cares about my trifles.
I fell in love with a universe and wanted to belong so badly I began deluding myself. I know that now. I attached myself to someone that means nothing to me, and vice versa. When that fell through, my brain scrambled for something, anything, to connect me to your world. It was so real that I believed it. You bitch-slapped me into reality again. It angered me, but I know now that was EXACTLY what I needed.
Thank you.

Re: Le grand siiiigh~

[flyboy-fox.livejournal.com]

All right. Well, there was no need for me to shame you publicly, so I've edited out the post. I can be reactionary too and frankly I shouldn't have exploded like that. Anyway, I hope that you can move on now.

Re: Le grand siiiigh~

[sletia.livejournal.com]

I hope someday we can be friends again.

Re: Le grand siiiigh~

[flyboy-fox.livejournal.com]

I may have overreacted, but my annoyance was building up over days. But anyway, you said yourself that you didn't think you should talk to Jei or me for a while, so I took that as a cue that you'd rather not have us around right now anyway.

Re: Le grand siiiigh~

[sletia.livejournal.com]

Only because I was afraid I would say something stupid again, or that I would get irrationally angry and use you as a punching bag like I did to poor Jei. But I will work through this, and I appreciate having you along to be there for me, and to smack me when I need it... because you're my dear friend.
(And I can absolutely see why your annoyance was building up. Shit, I would have blown up at me too. I'm surprised you handled it for as long as you did, quite frankly.)

Re: Le grand siiiigh~

[flyboy-fox.livejournal.com]

Perhaps you should do what you said you needed to do and take a break from the Sonic fandom, cleanse it from your system with other stuff so that there's no danger that you'll become reliant on Miles or Shadow or anyone else again...

I like you best when you're your own person and I felt like we really connected for a while after the whole 'being honest about who we really are' thing. But then when you got super-obsessed with our world and with Miles and Scourge and Knux etc I started to feel like I was just here to bridge a connection for you.

Maybe things will resolve back to how they were. I shouldn't have let Miles take advantage of you while you were vulnerable in the aftermath of accepting how far from hellmaster you are, so for that I do apologise.

Re: Le grand siiiigh~

[sletia.livejournal.com]

Remember a couple years back, when I saw the live-action Transformers movie and went absolutely apeshit over it? I was feeling a kinship with Blackout or Barricade, began entertaining the possibility of being him in a past life?
That's what happened here. Only this time I actually knew people legitimately from the universe, so it turned into the mess we're looking at now.
I don't know if you call it an obsessive personality, or what. Maybe I just grasp at anything that could be me because I want so badly to find my true self. I hope someday this manner of thinking goes away.
At least, we are still being honest with each other. That never stopped.

[prismmoogle.livejournal.com]

This isn't really my business, so I'm going to keep out of it (plus things look like they've settled down a bit), but I do have a question.

What's this about a 'kin fandom?' I'm pretty sure I get the general idea just from the name, but if there's, like, a link you'd recommend or a brief description just to clarify my thoughts, I'd appreciate it. Worse comes to worse I go googling :p

Are there a lot of people who ask for help but tend to refuse it unless it's the help they want to hear? There's enough people like that everywhere, ugh :x

[flyboy-fox.livejournal.com]

I'd... highly discourage 'Googling' fic'kin unless you want to spend an entire afternoon (morning? day?) wading through drama, wank, and Encyclopaedia Dramatica pages ^^;

It's different for everyone, but I see it as basically 'fiction is real, somehow, in some way, and I have a connection to a fictional world'.

Where the fun ends and the wangst begins is when people start taking themselves too seriously and get butthurt over the fact that most of the world ain't gonna believe you're a reincarnated fictional character (understandably).

My personal ethos regarding 'kin is pretty much "Sure, there's a good chance that I'm making the whole thing up subconsciously, but hey, it doesn't hurt anyone."

[prismmoogle.livejournal.com]

Hmm, well, it's gonna be slow at work till Wednesday! Then again, I'm kinda liberal with what I visit at work, but ED and the like might be a bit too far. We'll see!

I get what you're saying with the description, though.

There's a healthy amount of people that just seem to need some reality slapped into them. Not reality of, "You're an idiot and you're wrong," but reality of, "There is a society, there are socially acceptable things, there are socially accepted beliefs, facts, logical approaches, etc etc." Gotta be able to accept that and cater yourself to it before you can hope for a stranger to take you seriously, after all.

Can never get anywhere just by projecting yourself onto others and getting mad when that doesn't work out.

Ah, people.

[flyboy-fox.livejournal.com]

It's always seemed painfully arrogant to me when people say "I'm the really real (insert character here) and how dare you suggest I'm not or that there's any other explanation for how I feel?".

Then again, despite identifying as fic'kin (and _possible_ soulbonder) myself, I also feel that the probability of it actually being anything beyond a quirk in my psychological processes rapidly approaches zero.

I know that makes me kind of unpopular sometimes because I'm all "Yo, what if it's NOT actually real and we are just a bunch of crazies?". But y'know, I don't think there would be anything wrong with that as long as we're happy and still able to function in the real world. Little bit of crazy never hurt anyone as long as it's kept in check.

Don't even get me STARTED on "Otakukin Armageddon".

[shadowdingo.livejournal.com]

Oh wow, I must have missed much drama. Hope it's all sorted now. o-O

[flyboy-fox.livejournal.com]

Yeah, it's fine. Just needed to vent on something that'd been going on a few days ^^;

[prismmoogle.livejournal.com]

Crap crap, I went googling (didn't really find anything yet), but got sucked into tvtropes, which put me on a 15 page discussion from an XKCD furry comic from awhile ago. I'm only 5 pages in!

What have I done? ... I'm totally going back after I post this.

Sounds like you just hate unreasonable arrogance. I can't say I blame you! Especially when it comes down to something like that. That's like, a sunshine friend (Thomas Paine: The Crisis). It's easy to be friends with someone so long as they always agree with everything you say, right? So long as you're 100% right and nothing else could be the case, everything is fine and dandy!

I have to wonder, psychologically, if it's a defense mechanism somehow. You know I'm more or less a philosophical relativist, which is summarized as saying truth is relative. I know a lot of people who couldn't say such a thing because it would frighten them. It's hard to accept the possibility of being wrong - hell, it's why some (maybe all) religious people cling to their religion.

And even then, you're entirely right. So freakin what? So long as people are happy and they don't feel like they're handicapping themselves or others (let alone breaking laws), is it really such a big thing? No, of course it's not.

Aaaand I just googled Otakukin Armageddon. Oh boy.

You know, I like to think that it'd be really awesome if I just woke up one day as a moogle, an eevee, or hell, anything furry. The imagination is a great thing, after all - I've come up with so many little variations that are just fun to think about. It's a delusion. I have no problems with delusions so long as people recognize that they might still be deluding themselves.

Sheesh.