flyboy_fox

Fucking ow headache ;_; Over my eyes. Just used up the last of my Nurofen, so just gotta hope it goes away and doesn't get worse ^^;

I had a (mild) panic attack today for the first time in three or four years (maybe longer). The source? An RP I was doing. I thought it was interesting that recently several people have made posts about how involved they get with their characters when they role-play, unable to differentiate their character's feelings from their own, and feeling everything their character feels as it's written or read, because this is exactly how I get. It was a pretty darn epic RP too. A little more hardcore than the usual (it involved torture, lol). It was going fine, absolutely fine, for most of the way. I was all POWER POWER POWER FUCK YEAH THIS IS COOL until the other character had to go and almost die, which was not intended ;_; I had an instant "OH SHIT...!!" moment which manifested in an actual real panic attack XD;; The whole shebang; accelerated heart rate, choking/unable to breathe feeling, the feeling of being frozen to the spot unable to move, and super anxious of course ^^; I was fine after some water, but DAMN. Don't do that to me :(

So yeah, not cool. I thought I was SO over those. Fandom WILL be my undoing.

I guess I ought to sleep. I'm not getting to bed before 7am ANY night, lately. Urgh.