RP and... panic attacks? Oh boy.

[flyboy_fox]

Fucking ow headache ;_; Over my eyes. Just used up the last of my Nurofen, so just gotta hope it goes away and doesn't get worse ^^;

I had a (mild) panic attack today for the first time in three or four years (maybe longer). The source? An RP I was doing. I thought it was interesting that recently several people have made posts about how involved they get with their characters when they role-play, unable to differentiate their character's feelings from their own, and feeling everything their character feels as it's written or read, because this is exactly how I get. It was a pretty darn epic RP too. A little more hardcore than the usual (it involved torture, lol). It was going fine, absolutely fine, for most of the way. I was all POWER POWER POWER FUCK YEAH THIS IS COOL until the other character had to go and almost die, which was not intended ;_; I had an instant "OH SHIT...!!" moment which manifested in an actual real panic attack XD;; The whole shebang; accelerated heart rate, choking/unable to breathe feeling, the feeling of being frozen to the spot unable to move, and super anxious of course ^^; I was fine after some water, but DAMN. Don't do that to me :(

So yeah, not cool. I thought I was SO over those. Fandom WILL be my undoing.

I guess I ought to sleep. I'm not getting to bed before 7am ANY night, lately. Urgh.

Comments

[way-past-cool.livejournal.com]

._. I feel so guilty... guuuuuuuuuuuuh.

But I know how it is... I didn't have a panic attack but that RP was pretty damn intense and mind destroying... x.x I also had a very strong reaction to the one we did a little while ago. Something about nearly breaking the other REALLY hits a trigger, I think.

[flyboy-fox.livejournal.com]

Aww, don't feel guilty XD It was an EPIC RP and I'd definitely do something like it again :P You know, unless you don't want to. Don't wanna make you uncomfortable ;_; ::Hugs tight::

[sletia.livejournal.com]

Well, yeah, the kinda stuff you were doing was quite psychological, no? I think it could happen to anyone.

[minniemousegirl.livejournal.com]

I don't quite agree with you. You have to be of the mind to be able to separate your real life from this internet one. If not, then it might get the best of you.

[kalium-kx.livejournal.com]

True..seperation and a firm grasp on reality is the best way to prevent being sucked in but passion well kinda overides all that..^-^;;;

[flyboy-fox.livejournal.com]

Lol. Firm grasp on reality. Don't think I've EVER had that :P

[kalium-kx.livejournal.com]

Like I said..passion...loads and loads of passion...
fruit

[flyboy-fox.livejournal.com]

And I certainly can't do it :D

[flyboy-fox.livejournal.com]

It hit some deep dark areas of the psyche, that's for sure ^^;

[measyouaswe.livejournal.com]

Ugh, panic attacks are the worst. But it sounds like it was an intense rp.

[flyboy-fox.livejournal.com]

Panic attacks are horrid. You've had them, too? But yeah, it was darn intense.

[measyouaswe.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I don't get them that often, but... :/

[minniemousegirl.livejournal.com]

I don't do rp's much anymore. I think that when one is involved in one and it messes with your emotional well-being....hmmmm....

[flyboy-fox.livejournal.com]

Oh, I'm fine now. It just shook me up a little at the time. I enjoy pushing the limits though.

[minniemousegirl.livejournal.com]

I'm very glad to know that! *whew!*