Sep. 21st, 2010

SO TIRED.

Sep. 21st, 2010 12:30 am
flyboy_fox: (Yeeeah not good.)
First day at new job today.

Nervous doesn't even begin to describe it. I hope that they don't have us straight on phones on the first day, but that's kinda what they did at my last call-centre job so I'm not overly optimistic about my chances XD And jeez, getting up at 6.15am is PAINFUL after weeks of nice relaxed mornings getting up at 9.30 or later. My summer break is officially over ): Gotta head out the door in 45 minutes, but there's enough time for a cup of tea and some brekkie first. Oh, and updating LJ of course.

So, seeing as no one so far seems to think that a filter is necessary for my 'kin/bond-related posts, I'm gonna leave 'em public for now. Anything particularly long and/or irrelevant will go under a cut as I've already been doing. If anyone does start to get sick of it, I won't take it badly if you say so or remove me from your list. The fact that anyone at all cares to read all this stuff means the world to me as it is.

Man, I was so cold yesterday. It was a horrible sort of cold, like it had seeped right through into my bones and turned them to ice. I thought maybe I was getting sick or something, but a nice warm bath sorted that right out. Normally I can't be bothered with baths because they take so long, so I just shower instead. But it was soooo nice. I've been using the Radox that Jade sent me a while back, and it makes so many bubbles with just one cap-full, it's insane o.o But awesome XD BUBBLES. HAHAHA seems I can't stop... ever! )

Ohh holy crap this got long already and I have to go ;_; I guess I'll finish this up later because there's definitely more that I want to ramble about. New job, here I come o.o;;

ETA: I'm home XD Oh gods. Talk about pressure. But okay, I can do this. I think I'll write up about it later or tomorrow. I THINK THEY THINK THAT I AM FAR MORE COMPETENT THAN I AM :D Hoo~!

Miles made me buy coffee on the way home. And quiche. I like quiche, but I'm not so keen on coffee. But he was all annoyed because I wouldn't buy coffee from the vending machine in the lobby on my break and the only way I could placate him was to promise to buy a jar of coffee on the way home. Eegads. Can I have my life back please? >_>; Oh, right.

Fuuuuck I have a headache and I'm tired and I have so much more that I intended to say, but I'll save it for another post hsfghsghgksh x_____x I talk about all the mundane stuff, act like it's so cathartic to dissect Scourge and Miles' little habits and preferences... and yeah, it is kinda interesting figuring out what I know about them as people. But good lord I never touch on the more complicated (and infinitely more annoying) dynamics and situations. I won't even bother trying right now but I'll leave you instead with this. Ever since something he saw on Second Life, Miles has been enamoured with the idea of getting notched spinal piercings all the way down his/my back from between my shoulder-blades to just above my tattoo. Scourge is enamoured by the idea of violently stringing Miles up by them. Miles is not put off. G'night.

Sickness

Sep. 21st, 2010 07:05 am
flyboy_fox: (Why me? e.x)
Worst. Night. Ever.

I reckon I got maybe an hour, two at most, of sleep - most of which was filled with restless dreams/nightmares. The rest of the night consisted of me lying awake/half-awake and being taunted by Miles (and oddly, some ethereal dream-Scourge), who was doing everything he could to make my paranoia about everything worse. I don't understand what his problem is. See if I buy him coffee again.

I really need to figure out how to stop him from pushing me around, 'cause dude that ain't right. And to think that a few days ago I was actually feeling pretty bad for him. Whether or not Miles is a delusion of mine, he's sure having the same detrimental effect of a mental illness on me right now. It makes me feel a little sick to say that, because I've tried to maintain that this whole thing is fine because it's not BAD for me.

Miles, get it through your supposedly smart head that if you fuck me over too bad, you're essentially fucking yourself over. Maybe you just don't care any more. Gonna take me down in flames with you? Fantastic.

I just wanna crawl back into bed and sleep all day. 6.15am is a cruel hour to be awake and preparing for work.

Edit: You know, I'm probably just feeling so depressed and sick because I'm tired and anxious. If I can just get through the day (I'm sure starting on phones won't be as bad as I'm building it up to be), then I can nap as soon as I get home for an hour or so. Then I'll have a relaxing evening and get a good early night. I'll feel better. Just thinking about that cheers me up a bit. Being tired always makes everything seem ten times worse.

Edit 2:



This guy is my hero. Dude you HAVE no Quran :D

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