~Give a little bit of Heart and Soul (and dont'cha make me beg for more)~

[flyboy_fox]

So, my dad decided to show up for a night to see me one more time before he goes back to Colombia and I go off to University. Despite our differences, I did want to see him because who knows when I'll see him again? Plus, he's more than 80 years old... I suppose I should make the most of any chances to build some sort of relationship with him in the time that's left. I know we have irreconcilable differences in a lot of ways, but he's still my dad, y'know? I don't have it in me to turf him out of my life completely.

But just now when I went downstairs to make some tea (I've been up since 6am for no reason other than that I fell asleep about 7:30pm last night), my dad was there waiting for me, and he tried to give me a £50 note. WTF? My dad doesn't HAVE that kind of money. My dad has NO money. I'd much rather he keep what little he has to look after himself rather than trying to buy my affection. He doesn't need to. I love him unconditionally even if I don't always get on with him, and I'm at peace with the fact that he can't change. So, he doesn't need to buy me out.

I must have been arguing with him over it for a good ten minutes, but he wouldn't budge and I was starting to feel that it would hurt him more if I didn't take it, so finally I took it. But I am putting it straight into my savings account so that when he inevitably needs money again, I can give it back to him.

Naturally, it's hard for my mom, too. She's never been able to get him to pay a penny towards the household or family upkeep and he's never been here, and now he's showing up and shoving £50 notes into his kids' hands. Really, the money should go to my mom. She's the one who deserves it after all these years raising us as pretty much a single mom. But of course she wouldn't take the money from me either.

::Sigh:: Families, eh, who'd have 'em? :P

Comments

[shadowdingo.livejournal.com]

I find the thing about family is that, no matter how much another member ticks you off/irritates you to death/upsets you/makes you feel like shit etc., you find that you are unable to bring yourself to "hate" them in any way. It's just the way family runs really.

Amazing that he gave you the money, but you did the sensible thing, because you never really know if he'll ever need it back.

Awkward!situation was awkward? :/

[twitchytwitch.livejournal.com]

I think you did the right thing, Jai. ^^

Heh, that's family, I guess. ^^;

[violettsukino.livejournal.com]

I don't think I'm at the point in my life where I could give someone who'd hurt me that badly that kind of love...But I want to change in the worst way. Hatred, for others or for myself, has never done anything good for me.

You're not perfect, and I realize a lot of things are still a struggle for you. But...I really and truly look up to you and spite of...and partially because of...that. Today you reminded me of why.

[leonskennedy827.livejournal.com]

You did the right thing dude, I'll confess that if my father was like yours I would have had a hard time trying to give any kind of love, so I admire that you did try to do so

Different families, I guess.

[teamrodent.livejournal.com]

Were it my family, I suspect a string - or more - attached to the pound note. So it's good you did what you did, in other words.

McGee: Thus, why Flyboy's a fox.