~Lost my hold~

[flyboy_fox]

First, a meme ganked from teamrodent:

Take the Magic: The Gathering 'What Color Are You?' Quiz.

Somehow it's fitting... Although I stray from the 'norm' a lot, I do have a very strong sense of how things 'should' be. Sometimes a little too black and white, perhaps expecting life to conform to 'the rules' more than can be practically expected. I like to think I'm 'just'. But perhaps I can be a bit authoritarian at times. I'm reading too much into a simple meme, I know. Aw well. (Also, black & red my enemy? Shadow, is that you? *smites!*)

So... blah. I dunno. Today isn't going well x.x I didn't take the second shift of kitchen work, and ended up exchanging some rather volatile emails with the employment agency, who insisted on using a million exclamation points to 'yell' at me over the internets O.o; Being the pedant that I am, I told them that wasn't very professional n.n;;; Anyway, I've gotta take my timesheet in to get it signed, but I asked them to take me off their books. Bleh.

Also, speaking of books... I have an overdue library book from college that I owe money on, but I can't for the life of me find it! I've misplaced the overdue notice, too, so I'm not even sure what book I'm looking for. This is not good ;_; ... and...

... speaking of which... I finalized leaving college today. I wrote to my tutor and to the admissions and enrolment department, offering my official resignation. University isn't for me, so there's no point in continuing this Access course at everyone else's expense if I'm not intending to use it to go to Uni. I can chalk this up to another of my many many failures, or I can just move on and look for full-time work. I'll try to do the latter, but my head's in a bit of a fuzz right now. I had my reservations about being able to cope at Uni even before I found out that Jei wouldn't be coming. So it's not her fault. But without her here, I know I'd never make it.

You know, being academically 'bright' doesn't necessarily mean a person is cut out for University or that they would thrive there. I may have the so-called 'IQ' for it, but 'IQ' makes up such a small part of the full picture. I'm not socially intelligent. I'm not emotionally intelligent. Heck, I don't even seem to have drive and determination beyond my very limited scope of things that I enjoy doing. And I'm 22. Everyone else on my chosen course would be 18 and 19. I missed the boat initially, and maybe I should have realized then that it wasn't right for me.

I still have a dream that one day Jei and I will live together, and we'll start a small company together. Even if we have to work regular day-jobs too, to begin with, I think we could make ends meet. But perhaps Jei is cut out for bigger things... with her talent, I wouldn't be surprised if she gets snapped up by some big animation company or something.

I'm 22 and I still have no idea what I want to do with my life. Go me.

Comments

[rblake77.livejournal.com]

Don't worry too much about not knowing what to do with your life. You're still young and you've got a lot of years ahead of you to worry about stuff. Heck, I know people pushing 40 that don't know what to do with lives. You think by then one would have an inkling of what to do.

[flyboy-fox.livejournal.com]

::Nods:: That's very true. I can always go back to Uni later in life if I really want to... it's not the last chance I have, quite yet n.n;

[rblake77.livejournal.com]

Aye. It's never too late.

At that, if I could afford to go to college, I would (I'm 29 with a high school education.. go me). Not necessarily Uni, but community college would suffice.

[teamrodent.livejournal.com]

McGee: We can nominate a loser! ^on______no^V

Packerchu: SHUSH!

[tragic-elegance.livejournal.com]

I have overdue library books to return today. The one (a DVD) put a $110 dent in my account, but that'll be withdrawn when I get it back. XD;

Just a small observation... I'm 21 now, not much younger than you, but back when we were talking about Team Rocket, you were 18 and I was 16 I think, and that seemed like a huge gap to me. But it's kind of narrowed now. ^_^;

Good luck finding jobs!

[flyboy-fox.livejournal.com]

$110?! Whoa, that's like £60 ^^; Wow... Although, when I was working at the library, we had a guy who owed about £300 in fines... that was crazy!

Heh, weird how age differences don't seem to matter so much as you leave the teens and start out into 'adulthood' ^^ ... still find it very hard to consider myself as an 'adult' though. How about you?

[tragic-elegance.livejournal.com]

I don't even fathom myself an adult; I'm hardly a young adult in my mind. I don't do adult things, or have adult responsibilities... I think I really am in a training stage. ^_^; Hopefully after I graduate next year I'll have enough skillz to live in the "adult world".

[shadowdingo.livejournal.com]

Take the Magic: The Gathering 'What Color Are You?' Quiz.

And don't worry about not knowing what to do yet. I'm not even sure if I wanna go to Uni yet, and the apps have gotta be in pretty soon-ish. ^^;;

Typically, I always leave things off to the last minute... and I doubt I'm gonna apply for Uni just yet, if I do go. I dunno... just as I start college, where it took me long enough to decide what college I wanted to go to, then, they put extra stress of making you pick Universities?!

I'm gonna murder my college, me thinks. Not only do they muck up exam timetables, but they always assume you know what University you want to go to when you've barely chosen to go to that college. x_X;;

Gah... I rambled, sorry. -_-

[flyboy-fox.livejournal.com]

Rambling is good :) Both the talking kind and the hiking kind, actually. Reminds me I need to go take a walk in the Mendips some time soon.

Yeah, schools and colleges do tend to ram the whole universities thing down yer throat n.n; I've noticed over the years...

[nikkicub.livejournal.com]

Bah. University is overrated and not for everyone--not for me, for instance, but that just might be my dislike for being told what to do and when to do it. (Hated school too.) Good luck on figuring yourself out. Powers know I'm not there yet, and I'm two years older.

(Actually I want to write--just need a dayjob. I like doing retail, really, especially at the anime store, and it leaves me time for writing and hobbies--but I'm taking a lot of criticism for being 'unambitious' too. Blargh.)

[nikkicub.livejournal.com]

ALSO! Might I post your squiiiiishy icon at userpicks? If so, please be telling me the maker and gankability.

[flyboy-fox.livejournal.com]

Of course you may! ^^ I'm honored. Totally gankable by anyone, as long as they credit my username :)

[nikkicub.livejournal.com]

Hooray! ::Looks left... looks right... GANKS::

It totally competes with the 'listen here mister' for my favorite. Buntoine=awesome, and this is just hilarious.

[flyboy-fox.livejournal.com]

I'm deeply flattered ^_^

[flyboy-fox.livejournal.com]

Ah, you sound just like me. All I really want to do is earn enough money to support myself and pursue my hobbies. I really don't care about degrees or having a 'career'. I agree, all of that stuff is totally overrated.

(Also, I hated school too, but managed to escape left when I was 14.)

[nikkicub.livejournal.com]

T_T I'm glad someone understands.

(And, here.

[shaboba330.livejournal.com]

Aw, Jai... I'm sorry that things seem really blah right now =\ but they'll get better. You'll find something that you really attach yourself to and that you really want to pursue, and you'll go for it. You can accomplish whatever you set your mind to. And I know that sounds uberly cliche, but it's true. If it weren't, then I wouldn't look up to you as much as I do ^_^ *glomps*

[flyboy-fox.livejournal.com]

Aww, thanks Matsu-chan n.n ::Huggles:: That means a lot.

[leonskennedy827.livejournal.com]

Well, I may be only 16 but to be honest, I have no idea where I want to go after the Sixth Form, and while that may go on for 4 years (should I decide it) in the long run that isn't a very long time. So yeah, that's scary X__x

[leonskennedy827.livejournal.com]

Oh, forgot to say don't worry, and as others have said you're still young, so it shouldn't be too much of a worry just yet

[flyboy-fox.livejournal.com]

Thanks Leon :)

Yeah, any transition, whether it's school, sixth-form, college, Uni, etc is scary. It always seems like we have to know exactly where we're going, how we're going to get there, and what we're gonna do.

But you're right, there's still plenty of time, and nothing is set in stone yet.

[rainsingingwolf.livejournal.com]

I'm 22 and I still have no idea what I want to do with my life. Go me.

Heh, I'm the same age as you and I was feeling the same way only a little while ago. I still feel that way sometimes. After a little while, I started to think the things I wanted to do wouldn't happen. But...heh, I got lucky just a few weeks ago. Who knows if I can make a living off of it, but...we'll give it a shot, ne? ^_^

[flyboy-fox.livejournal.com]

You have so many awesome retro-Sonic/SatAM icons.

So, what came up? ^^ (Sorry if you wrote about it already and I missed it). Whatever it is, best of luck to you!

[rainsingingwolf.livejournal.com]

Hehe. Thank you. I have so many icons because I have the DVD set, and the computer that can screencap. ;) They did a really good job of protecting the DVD from screenshotting, unfortunately.

Well, I can tell you it has to do with writing. That's about it. :) I just hope it works out.

[sphix.livejournal.com]

Things are looking down right now, Jai. And that's to be expected. But I'm SO proud of you that you're gonna keep on fighting. Keep that chin up, eh? If you wanna talk, I'm always open. *huggles*

[flyboy-fox.livejournal.com]

Thanks Sphix ^_^ ::Hugs:: I appreciate it.

[sphix.livejournal.com]

Also, everyone always has doubts about what they wanna do with their life. Hell, I'm not even sure if I'm cut out for police work.

P.S. Good on ya for telling that agency of yours off! :D