~Lost my hold~
May. 3rd, 2007 02:45 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
flyboy_foxFirst, a meme ganked from ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
teamrodent:
Somehow it's fitting... Although I stray from the 'norm' a lot, I do have a very strong sense of how things 'should' be. Sometimes a little too black and white, perhaps expecting life to conform to 'the rules' more than can be practically expected. I like to think I'm 'just'. But perhaps I can be a bit authoritarian at times. I'm reading too much into a simple meme, I know. Aw well. (Also, black & red my enemy? Shadow, is that you? *smites!*)
So... blah. I dunno. Today isn't going well x.x I didn't take the second shift of kitchen work, and ended up exchanging some rather volatile emails with the employment agency, who insisted on using a million exclamation points to 'yell' at me over the internets O.o; Being the pedant that I am, I told them that wasn't very professional n.n;;; Anyway, I've gotta take my timesheet in to get it signed, but I asked them to take me off their books. Bleh.
Also, speaking of books... I have an overdue library book from college that I owe money on, but I can't for the life of me find it! I've misplaced the overdue notice, too, so I'm not even sure what book I'm looking for. This is not good ;_; ... and...
... speaking of which... I finalized leaving college today. I wrote to my tutor and to the admissions and enrolment department, offering my official resignation. University isn't for me, so there's no point in continuing this Access course at everyone else's expense if I'm not intending to use it to go to Uni. I can chalk this up to another of my many many failures, or I can just move on and look for full-time work. I'll try to do the latter, but my head's in a bit of a fuzz right now. I had my reservations about being able to cope at Uni even before I found out that Jei wouldn't be coming. So it's not her fault. But without her here, I know I'd never make it.
You know, being academically 'bright' doesn't necessarily mean a person is cut out for University or that they would thrive there. I may have the so-called 'IQ' for it, but 'IQ' makes up such a small part of the full picture. I'm not socially intelligent. I'm not emotionally intelligent. Heck, I don't even seem to have drive and determination beyond my very limited scope of things that I enjoy doing. And I'm 22. Everyone else on my chosen course would be 18 and 19. I missed the boat initially, and maybe I should have realized then that it wasn't right for me.
I still have a dream that one day Jei and I will live together, and we'll start a small company together. Even if we have to work regular day-jobs too, to begin with, I think we could make ends meet. But perhaps Jei is cut out for bigger things... with her talent, I wouldn't be surprised if she gets snapped up by some big animation company or something.
I'm 22 and I still have no idea what I want to do with my life. Go me.
teamrodent:
Take the Magic: The Gathering 'What Color Are You?' Quiz.
Somehow it's fitting... Although I stray from the 'norm' a lot, I do have a very strong sense of how things 'should' be. Sometimes a little too black and white, perhaps expecting life to conform to 'the rules' more than can be practically expected. I like to think I'm 'just'. But perhaps I can be a bit authoritarian at times. I'm reading too much into a simple meme, I know. Aw well. (Also, black & red my enemy? Shadow, is that you? *smites!*)
So... blah. I dunno. Today isn't going well x.x I didn't take the second shift of kitchen work, and ended up exchanging some rather volatile emails with the employment agency, who insisted on using a million exclamation points to 'yell' at me over the internets O.o; Being the pedant that I am, I told them that wasn't very professional n.n;;; Anyway, I've gotta take my timesheet in to get it signed, but I asked them to take me off their books. Bleh.
Also, speaking of books... I have an overdue library book from college that I owe money on, but I can't for the life of me find it! I've misplaced the overdue notice, too, so I'm not even sure what book I'm looking for. This is not good ;_; ... and...
... speaking of which... I finalized leaving college today. I wrote to my tutor and to the admissions and enrolment department, offering my official resignation. University isn't for me, so there's no point in continuing this Access course at everyone else's expense if I'm not intending to use it to go to Uni. I can chalk this up to another of my many many failures, or I can just move on and look for full-time work. I'll try to do the latter, but my head's in a bit of a fuzz right now. I had my reservations about being able to cope at Uni even before I found out that Jei wouldn't be coming. So it's not her fault. But without her here, I know I'd never make it.
You know, being academically 'bright' doesn't necessarily mean a person is cut out for University or that they would thrive there. I may have the so-called 'IQ' for it, but 'IQ' makes up such a small part of the full picture. I'm not socially intelligent. I'm not emotionally intelligent. Heck, I don't even seem to have drive and determination beyond my very limited scope of things that I enjoy doing. And I'm 22. Everyone else on my chosen course would be 18 and 19. I missed the boat initially, and maybe I should have realized then that it wasn't right for me.
I still have a dream that one day Jei and I will live together, and we'll start a small company together. Even if we have to work regular day-jobs too, to begin with, I think we could make ends meet. But perhaps Jei is cut out for bigger things... with her talent, I wouldn't be surprised if she gets snapped up by some big animation company or something.
I'm 22 and I still have no idea what I want to do with my life. Go me.
