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flyboy_fox
This image resonates with me, really strongly. The idea that somewhere run-down and grungy and filthy and graffiti-ridden could be 'utopia' doesn't seem ironic, even if irony was intended by that little 'IRL hack'. Urban decay is beautiful, and that there are still people around with that wry little sense of humour to do something like that makes me feel like it couldn't be that terrible of a place. Is it odd to be drawn equally strongly to both traditional beauty and the aesthetics of the post-apocalyptic? Maybe, but still, I'd love to have been the one to stumble upon that in person. (Also, as a result, Jei and I decided that we'll most likely name our grungy urban nightclub on Second Life 'Utopia' in homage to the idea that filth and depravity can be beautiful too.)
It's been -8C all night and it's still -5C now. Probably not that impressive to you northerners, but a wee bit nippy for someone like me whose blood comes from South America! Oh, don't get me wrong, it's still beautiful out there. It hasn't snowed since, but the absolute freezing temperature has prevented any of that thick blanket of snow from melting. But yo, I have to go out in it today :P Finally got an appointment at the Job Centre to sort out getting my benefits started again since I lost that last job, woo, what, two months ago? I might be able to apply for housing benefit too, we'll see. I don't like claiming benefits, it kinda feels like an insult to my pride, which I guess is why I waited so long... but seriously, we are so broke right now it isn't funny. We couldn't even afford toilet paper last week, so we ended up having to use tissues and then cotton face-cleaning pads. Seriously. ... okay, maybe that is kinda funny XD But it's absolutely ridiculous that Jei's student loan STILL hasn't come in when it was due in October. Bastards. I want something other than bread and cheese and Oxo-cube soup for lunch now, kthx D:
We're still pretty spoiled/lucky though. I mean, we're going to see Weird Al Yankovic in London on Monday! The tickets were a birthday gift to Jei from her extremely generous and sweet sister back in America. Weird Al is one of Jei's most favourite artists (she's seen him and his band a few times before and met him backstage ♥), and this is his first UK gig, so it should be awesome! My mum is giving us around £50 to buy coach and train tickets to get there (it's about 3 hours away), which is awesomely kind of her too (:
As for me personally right now, I think I'm doing better. The days before the snow posts were pretty bad. I ended up doing That Thing That I Do™ where I de-construct everything and convince myself in no uncertain terms that everything I believe is a lie and a coping mechanism and me just fooling myself into believing things that just can't possibly be true. This time around was particularly bad because Miles got caught up in my belief-slaughter and I managed to get him convinced that he's not real, too. Because, you know, he is just as stupidly logically-minded as I am about things and if all the proof is laid out there ("how is this any different from [insert childhood belief here]?" and "I could 'make' another voice in my head just by thinking, see!" etc) then, well, what did he have left to cling to? So that was a kind of angsty stupid time, trying yet again to suppress him because apparently I'm a bitch like that :\ Of course it did not work one bit (and naturally he was completely overjoyed to wake up and not be dead - I feel guilty for putting him through that x.o), but it was bad bad bad times. I almost gave up on everything. But I didn't! Things are pretty much back to normal now.
Oh, except for that I'm a little bit '>_>' about how Miles keeps managing to commandeer back-rubs out of Jei. He's such a hedonist and acts like he only has to just snap his fingers and Jei will be a good little servant and give him a back massage any time he likes. I could put a stop to it, but the fact is that they are DAMN GOOD back rubs and unfortunately I'm so ticklish that if Jei tries to give ME one, I just wiggle and squirm and giggle and can't tolerate it for more than five seconds at a time n.n;; So yeah. But I'm watching you, Miles.
Aaanyway... wow! We're into December already! I can't believe it. I need to get myself an Advent Calendar. I've heard there's a Lindt one out there somewhere and I'm determined to track it down because YUM.
Better go have some brekkie now and gear myself up to face the subarctic weather out there XD I really hope I brought a hat and some gloves with me from-- !! WAITWUT. My mum didn't put £50 in my account just now... she put £120 in!! THANK YOU MUM! Oh wow. We can buy food! We can make chili dogs tonight and horchata and eeeee~! I will be frugal. Honest. But eeeee~! Okay, I'm out! Peace! ♥
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Date: 2010-12-03 10:02 am (UTC)Is it odd to be drawn equally strongly to both traditional beauty and the aesthetics of the post-apocalyptic?
I don't think so. I'm drawn to beauty in a lot of things, both the traditional scenic landscapes, sunsets-and-rainbows-and-unicorns (AAAALLLWAAAAYYYSSSS~~) type stuff, and the more grungy, decaying things. For some reason I'm a particular fan of a sort of "urban decadent" image-- shady business deals, gambling and drug dealing and opium smoking, conducted in the dark and dingy corners of seedy little bars by otherwise well-to-do, aristocratic types. Sort of highest-class-meets-dirtiest-work... I think that's why I liked Noir so much as a series, even though there aren't too many anime I've ever been attached to.
Also, physical sensitivity regarding headpeople is weird. Iris can't stand having her back touched because of... wingstuff. When I was having my back scars carved there, she decided to be around for it because it was sort of partly her thing, but then when we had to have our back drawn on with a pen she squealed and hissed like it was hurting her. Just from a felt marker.
Congrats on the money and the Weird Al! I love me some Weird Al. Wish I could go. :D
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Date: 2010-12-03 10:12 am (UTC)StalinStylin' anyway...). Urban decadent is pretty awesome too. I've heard of Noir but know nothing about it... maybe I shall go check it out now.Aye. It is odd. The other day, Jei was just poking Miles in the side and being all "o3o;" at him when he didn't even flinch, because I'm incredibly ticklish and if she'd tried that with me I probably would have kicked her in the face >_>; On the flipside, while Miles may enjoy being poked and pounded (Jei's backrubs are DEEP @_@), he can't stand light gentle touches, which I personally like. If Jei happens to accidentally brush against him, he'll flinch as if he'd been slapped and then get moody about it. Headpeople be odd, yo.
I still think those wing scars are pretty awesome. Did you ever get the tail one done, too?
Yay for Weird Al! I can't wait (: We're gonna spend the day in Camden Town and then go to the concert, so it'll be an awesome day all around ♥
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Date: 2010-12-03 02:56 pm (UTC)I guess I'm odd too, yo.
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Date: 2010-12-03 06:22 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-12-03 01:33 pm (UTC)Aha, thriftiness is lovely. How about using two sanitary pads in place of a diaper for your kid because you ran out?
Hee, spend your money carefully, Jai. ♥
But I'm glad you won't starve, buddy. ^o^;
Join the
Of course, if you don't like bittersweet endings, you might want to skip the first two days (they have chapters from the manga... the Black Jack manga is notorious for downer endings).
Oooor you can sign into your ancient Neopets account and go visit the Advent Calendar there. x3;
'Course, virtual ones don't usually give you chocolates, but. ^^;;
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Date: 2010-12-03 01:52 pm (UTC)LOL. We've certainly learned to be creative as a result of being (temporarily) poor(ish) anyway XD
Oh, congrats on contributing to the Black Jack calendar!
Aww, Neopets... I need to get back into that ^^; I used to be on that site all the time. Sure, it's not real choccies, but it's fun anyway (:
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Date: 2010-12-03 01:54 pm (UTC)Yep! xD;
♥ It was fun! I really should've done more, though. x3;;;
It's a bit sad how commercialized it's become, but there are still some pretty awesome things there. And dang, secret avatars are so addicting to collect!
I spend more time making signatures that suit my avatar and feeding my pets than I do anything else, honestly. xDD;
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Date: 2010-12-03 01:57 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-12-03 02:01 pm (UTC)xDD;
Whaaat? I totally missed that, sounds awful!
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Date: 2010-12-03 06:23 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-12-03 02:53 pm (UTC)Glad things are looking up.
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Date: 2010-12-03 06:28 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-12-03 04:15 pm (UTC)Lucky, lucky, lucky..dammit why am I not there?!Wow nice concert there..hopefully better than The Charlatans one I hope..songs were great but a bit too soothing y'know
you seem to be going thru the same processes as me to say the least but that ai'nt surprising anymore izzit?*sigh*
DECEMBEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER!<3 21st21st21stno subject
Date: 2010-12-03 06:29 pm (UTC)>>you seem to be going thru the same processes as me to say the least but that ai'nt surprising anymore izzit?*sigh*
O RLY? XD
December is an awesome month ♥
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Date: 2010-12-04 06:41 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-12-03 05:48 pm (UTC)Shall have to purchase one tomorrow and greedily scoff the first four pieces. OMNOMNOM. XD
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Date: 2010-12-03 06:30 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-12-03 07:28 pm (UTC)I didn't get one last year until I was all "Oi, I still want an Advent Calendar" to my parents, and then they went out and got one. XD
Shall just get one myself this year though. It's easier.
I'm pretty sure I'll still be cracking open the ol' choccie calendar when I'm 96 :P
Ahahaha, this. Definitely this. I don't care how old I get, I don't think I'll ever go off the good old Advent Calendars. :D
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Date: 2010-12-03 08:33 pm (UTC)(ALSO YOU'RE MAKING ME WANT TO TAKE UP SECOND LIFE WITH THIS NIGHTCLUB YOU JUST MENTIONED.)
(OH. AND WE STILL HAVE THAT DESKBOXTHINGY. UNEMPLOYMENT GOT APPROVED, TOO!)
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Date: 2010-12-03 08:36 pm (UTC)Oh! Please do come on to Second Life! It is TEH AWESUM! Well. You know. If you have lots of time and no life, like me ):
Yay! Any idea when you might be able to cost out shipping for me? No rush, of course ^^ Just lookin' forward to it~ ♥
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Date: 2010-12-05 01:42 am (UTC)Well, er. definitely have lots of time on my hands, yes.
I'm up in Columbus right now, but I should be able to do it on Monday!
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Date: 2010-12-05 01:55 am (UTC)Hee, awesome~! Can't wait! ♥ Thanks!
Break it down again.
Date: 2010-12-04 06:15 pm (UTC)So your dad's side of the family isn't from around the Andes?
Re: Break it down again.
Date: 2010-12-04 06:35 pm (UTC)