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flyboy_foxI just have to say... Jei is AWESOME.
I think where feathers got ruffled in the last couple of posts was that people who don't know Jei and I make assumptions about us and our dynamic. Couples disagree, they argue, and sometimes they talk to friends about their issues. As long as they don't go behind each other's backs about things, it's not an issue. Perhaps it looked like a bigger deal than it was because I never air our problems openly, and so this is the first time I've ever taken an issue with my partner to LJ for advice.
Jei's been epic about it though. She understands why I did it and she's not upset with me. That doesn't mean she's the beaten down partner of an abuser XD Lol. I had a hearty laugh at that. Internet psychology at its finest. Anyone who's watched our journals over the years knows that I have nothing but praise and love for my partner, and one little disagreement made public does NOTHING to change that. Fuck, we've been together for over a decade, had plenty of arguments, but that's life and relationships for ya.
If anything, this only makes us stronger. I have even more love and respect for her now, seeing how she handled all this so sweetly and maturely.
As far as the Scourge bond thing goes (can't believe this all blew up over that!), I think that's another point worth making: When I make posts asking for advice/opinions or talking about the way I feel about something, I AM genuinely asking for advice/opinions. I don't make those posts expecting or hoping for people to just agree with me or back me up. I look to be actively challenged. If I was stuck set in my view about something, I wouldn't bother putting it out there for the gulls to peck at. I genuinely wanted views from people with more experience about soulbonds than either Jei or myself have, and hey, I got 'em!
In conclusion, the things people said really helped me to understand better, and I feel like perhaps I did misjudge, or at least, didn't give enough benefit of the doubt to Jei and her Scourge. The fact of the matter is that I'm an incredible cynic, and I wouldn't be me if I didn't question everything. That doesn't mean I was stringing Jei up and calling her a liar. I was questioning her, yes, wondering if she'd subconsciously created a Scourge to match my Miles. But heck, I may have very well subconsciously created Miles myself anyway, so even then we'd still match! XD
Anyway, all I have to say now is that the friends who offered advice really helped, and that Jei is amazingly awesome~ Whatever problems we're having, we'll get through them because we are unbreakable and unbeatable ♥
I think where feathers got ruffled in the last couple of posts was that people who don't know Jei and I make assumptions about us and our dynamic. Couples disagree, they argue, and sometimes they talk to friends about their issues. As long as they don't go behind each other's backs about things, it's not an issue. Perhaps it looked like a bigger deal than it was because I never air our problems openly, and so this is the first time I've ever taken an issue with my partner to LJ for advice.
Jei's been epic about it though. She understands why I did it and she's not upset with me. That doesn't mean she's the beaten down partner of an abuser XD Lol. I had a hearty laugh at that. Internet psychology at its finest. Anyone who's watched our journals over the years knows that I have nothing but praise and love for my partner, and one little disagreement made public does NOTHING to change that. Fuck, we've been together for over a decade, had plenty of arguments, but that's life and relationships for ya.
If anything, this only makes us stronger. I have even more love and respect for her now, seeing how she handled all this so sweetly and maturely.
As far as the Scourge bond thing goes (can't believe this all blew up over that!), I think that's another point worth making: When I make posts asking for advice/opinions or talking about the way I feel about something, I AM genuinely asking for advice/opinions. I don't make those posts expecting or hoping for people to just agree with me or back me up. I look to be actively challenged. If I was stuck set in my view about something, I wouldn't bother putting it out there for the gulls to peck at. I genuinely wanted views from people with more experience about soulbonds than either Jei or myself have, and hey, I got 'em!
In conclusion, the things people said really helped me to understand better, and I feel like perhaps I did misjudge, or at least, didn't give enough benefit of the doubt to Jei and her Scourge. The fact of the matter is that I'm an incredible cynic, and I wouldn't be me if I didn't question everything. That doesn't mean I was stringing Jei up and calling her a liar. I was questioning her, yes, wondering if she'd subconsciously created a Scourge to match my Miles. But heck, I may have very well subconsciously created Miles myself anyway, so even then we'd still match! XD
Anyway, all I have to say now is that the friends who offered advice really helped, and that Jei is amazingly awesome~ Whatever problems we're having, we'll get through them because we are unbreakable and unbeatable ♥
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Date: 2010-07-21 11:53 pm (UTC)no subject
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Date: 2010-07-22 02:56 pm (UTC)there's something unnerving about the way you two interact...i can't put my finger on it but it makes me uneasy..I know again I may be poking my nose in an inexperienced place again and all..but i do have some spiritual funky...thing with me as well for years..But, ultimately if you guys stick at it as you already have, i'm sure it will be raised and overcome.
And I do realise the pointlessness of these claims on the net but i'm just stating my opinion again as wellI know I may sound contradicting but i don't want to ruin our friendship or anything so i'm stepping around the lake i guess..
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Date: 2010-07-22 03:01 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-07-22 04:04 pm (UTC)I dunno..like i said it's just something's missing or odd which i can't exactly explain..not the type of relationship..communication..but i can't point at what..and you're being too logical..i mean touchy feely kinda things really..
I dunno I'm just trying to help or something....maybe i'll keep this stuff to myself..g'nite.
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Date: 2010-07-22 04:10 pm (UTC)I'm not getting at you, but you have to understand that when you make statements like that about two people who live together and are engaged to be married, we're gonna wanna know what the hell you're on about ^^;
So if you're trying to help, don't keep it to yourself, speak up my good man!
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Date: 2010-07-22 10:53 pm (UTC)But it's more of sense than a feeling..and maybe i'll be able to express it when i feel better..-.-
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Date: 2010-07-22 11:02 pm (UTC)And Jai's too logical to be touchy feely? You reeeeeeeeeeaaaaallly don't know Jai.
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Date: 2010-07-23 06:13 am (UTC)closed, packed and moved on,alright?
My strikethrus are'nt for hiding FYI..it's for fun
Whatever, I never meant to be hostile but you're entitled to my opinion just as I am to mine.
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Date: 2010-07-23 04:44 pm (UTC)You may be 'entitled' to an opinion, but you hardly have enough personal experience with both of us to put your opinion on a par with mine, whether I'm 'biased' or not. Your opinion on our relationship is based on Jai's LiveJournal (read: online snippets of a real person's life) and the very very very little I write in my journal and in comments.
That you can even say I'm "entitled to my opinion" on MY relationship is laughable XD come on, dude... we're not debating the plot of a movie here... this is my life!