Jai VS Wasp: Epic Battle for Dominance!

[flyboy_fox]

Holy FUCK. I still feel like the little bitch is crawling on me somewhere x.o

So, I was just chatting with Jei at around 4:45am this morning, as is par for the course. Then I heard something suddenly buzz in my ear. My initial thought was that it was a mosquito, although it didn't have that high-pitched whiny quality. Maybe a fly. I kinda shrugged it off 'til it came back and I felt something in my hair and then on my shoulder. Turned to look and there's a huge motherfucking wasp crawling on my shoulder and then onto my back. If there was an Olympic gold for whipping items of clothing off, I would have won it for how quickly I tore off my sweater XD

Cue twenty minutes of absolute MAYHEM. I grabbed a towel and started chasing the little fuck all around the room, trying to either shoo him out the window or swat his ass to kingdom come. He seemed to be attracted to the light, as he spent most of the time buzzing around the ceiling bulbs. I got him on the wall one time and slapped the fuck out of him onto the floor, but the little shit is some kind of wasp-y terminator 'cause his ass wouldn't stay down. So, back up to the light bulbs again. I swung my towel at him once more and, whoo, managed to blow out the bulb. Greeeeat.

In the next few minutes I managed to break a glass, step on my gyrocopter (*golf clap*), knock everything off the window sill and STILL the little fucking bastard asshole evaded me. Eventually I decided I needed a new tact.

Vacuum cleaner time! I was loathe to leave the room and let him go who-knows-where, but luckily he was still up by the lights when I got back. Easy enough now, right? No. Of course not. The nozzle wouldn't reach that high, and the fucker would NOT come down from the ceiling. Eventually I just picked up the body of the machine with one hand and JUMPED. A couple wild swings later and suddenly my arch-nemesis vanished without a trace. I didn't hear or feel him go down the tube, so naturally I was somewhat paranoid.

Luckily, the vacuum's cylinder is transparent, and lo and behold there he is, crawling around inside! OH SWEET JESUS THANK YOU. I have never been so relieved in my life.*

And thus ends the epic tale of Jai vs Evil Buzzbomber of Doom. ... well that's what it felt like D: ... I'll be over here covering my face in shame.


*This may be a slight exaggeration.

Comments

[charisstoma.livejournal.com]

Oh but you smelled so good and sweet. It came to you first, needing directions on how to get out of that room it was trapped in. Only after violence was offered did it resort to the wisdom of the ancients. With near death experiences they tell wasps to keep flying towards the light.

[flyboy-fox.livejournal.com]

D: The window was wide open. It kept flying so close... you'd think it would feel the cooler outdoor air and fly out. But nooo~ I don't think the little bitch wanted to get out of the room at all. It wanted to taunt and taunt and taunt me @_@;;

[private-enemy.livejournal.com]

LMAO. Sorry, I'm not trying to laugh at your situation (I'd probably act the same way), but the image is fairly amusing. AHEM. I can relate somewhat. I haven't actually had one come inside my house (hence why I said my reaction would probably be similar to yours, minus the genius of the vacuum cleaner lol), but every summer and this one in particular those bastards are everywhere. Every other day I'm knocking their nests down from around my house and spraying them with bug spray/fleeing in terror when they fly at me (must be quite a sight for the neighbors). And then they just come right back. I HATE WASPS. They don't do anything nice like make honey or anything cute like that, they're just nasty, aggressive sons of bitches that only look to hurt others. SATAN'S CHILDREN EVERY ONE OF 'EM. BACK TO HELL WITH 'EM I SAY. THE ONLY GOOD WASP IS A DEAD WASP. FUCK 'EM!

...ahem again. Pardon my French. C'est la vie. Guess I got a little carried away. So yeah, I hate them and I sympathize. You deserve a medal. :)

[flyboy-fox.livejournal.com]

HEAR HEAR! Lol, it's fine. If I'd been watching me, I'd be laughing my ass off too ^^; Should have got the damn vacuum to begin with, but I didn't want to leave the little fucker alone in case he crawled under something and I lost him. >_>

[charisstoma.livejournal.com]

*grins* I'm the same way towards spiders so I'm not one to talk.
No screens on your windows? Screens are wonderful things but A/c is even better.

[flyboy-fox.livejournal.com]

Pretty rare for houses/apartments in the UK to have A/C. It's rarely hot enough to need it XD I had considered getting a screen, though, or even improvising one from some mesh or something... I'll definitely look into it now as there is NO WAY IN HELL that those windows are coming open again without one >>;;

[eileanach.livejournal.com]

I have noticed wasps avoid common sense direction of a window or door being wide open usually flying behind it or in the opposite direction altogether. D: Spaz things!

This sounds like a horrible experience. If you own hairspray, keep a can near by so you can just spray it on the little bastards. Once their wings stick together they cannot really go anywhere and it is just a case of scooping them up on paper and tossing them out the window. :D

That's my "weapon of choice". Even though I don't use hair spray at all for anything it is just to get rid of wasps quickly and effectively. XD

[flyboy-fox.livejournal.com]

I don't use hairspray, so I don't have any... But you're the second person to suggest spraying the little buggers to stop them being able to fly, so I'll definitely bear it in mind :D

[way-past-cool.livejournal.com]

Buzzbomber!! XD Oh man... I can just see you attacking them tail-smack style!

Don't be embarrassed XD; I would have been the same way. Is the Gyrocopter okay? XD Not that that's the most important thing or anything...

>.>

[flyboy-fox.livejournal.com]

The gyrocopter is fine XD; Bloody hardy little thing. My foot, however... >_>;

[kalium-kx.livejournal.com]

Now I can visualize Sonic the Ghostbuster vs The Buzzbomber of doom XD

This is kinda ironic cos' I once felt a fly past my ear and thought it was a bee..phew..

but this really reminds me of the time there was bug on my head and NOBODY wanted to tell me to make me freak out..and then this guy said "Don't move.." and i was unnerved..when i found out..i went"getitoffgetitoffgetitoff" and stamped around..talk abt an embarassing introduction to my class..lol

I hate bugs too so i'm on your side obviously..

[flyboy-fox.livejournal.com]

XD;; I'm glad to know I'm not the only one who freaks out in that kind of situation. Evil, evil, EVIL wasps >_>;;

[kalium-kx.livejournal.com]

To top it off, my teacher ended it with "Now that makes a good storyboard"

>.>

Bastard..

[flyboy-fox.livejournal.com]

Ahahaha.

... sorry. I did find that kind of amusing XD Then again, I'm sure most people found my whole post hilarious >_>;

[kalium-kx.livejournal.com]

Nah the inane destruction was'nt funny..the fact you defeated ghostbusted a wasp with a vaccum cleaner is..

Well, that's what Tails is known for...his ingenuity..

[flyboy-fox.livejournal.com]

Don't cross the streams! ... Now I wanna draw Sonic and Tails in full Ghostbusters attire XD;;

[prismmoogle.livejournal.com]

Well damn, I must admit, that is pretty funny xD

The whole vacuum cleaner thing, at least. Glad you took him out, though! I hate wasps with such a huge passion. I'm too afraid to go after them most of the time unless we've got some sort of spray x3

The spray kicks ass. I now know firsthand that a wasp nest with 15 wasps in it is nothing compared to the power of burning, acidic stuff on their little bodies.

But...you can't really spray inside D: not that stuff, at least.

Which is where suction power of doom comes along, right?

Hm, I see some comments about hair spray. I think I've used an air freshener before x3 They burn if you get them in your eyes, so I think it kinda functions on insects. But don't take my word for it!

...You know how long I was kept up a week ago because there was a freaking massive june bug that was in my room? It's really freaky to just be typing something and suddenly get BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ out of nowhere at 3AM. God damn things.

Hate insects :(

[flyboy-fox.livejournal.com]

Hmm, I do have a canister of air-freshener... so next time I'll give that a go XD Wasps are such nasty aggressive noisy incessant little critters. Glad to see I'm not the only one who despises them ^^;

[kalium-kx.livejournal.com]

Go do it! Nooooooooow..

They should be busting Scourge into the trap or something..

[flyboy-fox.livejournal.com]

!! *Goes to draw it NOW* :DDD

[shadowdingo.livejournal.com]

Blargh, wasps, I hate them too. I'd like to know if they have a purpose beyond annoying us and stinging others.