Jai VS Wasp: Epic Battle for Dominance!
Jul. 19th, 2010 07:08 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
flyboy_foxHoly FUCK. I still feel like the little bitch is crawling on me somewhere x.o
So, I was just chatting with Jei at around 4:45am this morning, as is par for the course. Then I heard something suddenly buzz in my ear. My initial thought was that it was a mosquito, although it didn't have that high-pitched whiny quality. Maybe a fly. I kinda shrugged it off 'til it came back and I felt something in my hair and then on my shoulder. Turned to look and there's a huge motherfucking wasp crawling on my shoulder and then onto my back. If there was an Olympic gold for whipping items of clothing off, I would have won it for how quickly I tore off my sweater XD
Cue twenty minutes of absolute MAYHEM. I grabbed a towel and started chasing the little fuck all around the room, trying to either shoo him out the window or swat his ass to kingdom come. He seemed to be attracted to the light, as he spent most of the time buzzing around the ceiling bulbs. I got him on the wall one time and slapped the fuck out of him onto the floor, but the little shit is some kind of wasp-y terminator 'cause his ass wouldn't stay down. So, back up to the light bulbs again. I swung my towel at him once more and, whoo, managed to blow out the bulb. Greeeeat.
In the next few minutes I managed to break a glass, step on my gyrocopter (*golf clap*), knock everything off the window sill and STILL the little fucking bastard asshole evaded me. Eventually I decided I needed a new tact.
Vacuum cleaner time! I was loathe to leave the room and let him go who-knows-where, but luckily he was still up by the lights when I got back. Easy enough now, right? No. Of course not. The nozzle wouldn't reach that high, and the fucker would NOT come down from the ceiling. Eventually I just picked up the body of the machine with one hand and JUMPED. A couple wild swings later and suddenly my arch-nemesis vanished without a trace. I didn't hear or feel him go down the tube, so naturally I was somewhat paranoid.
Luckily, the vacuum's cylinder is transparent, and lo and behold there he is, crawling around inside! OH SWEET JESUS THANK YOU. I have never been so relieved in my life.*
And thus ends the epic tale of Jai vs Evil Buzzbomber of Doom. ... well that's what it felt like D: ... I'll be over here covering my face in shame.
*This may be a slight exaggeration.
So, I was just chatting with Jei at around 4:45am this morning, as is par for the course. Then I heard something suddenly buzz in my ear. My initial thought was that it was a mosquito, although it didn't have that high-pitched whiny quality. Maybe a fly. I kinda shrugged it off 'til it came back and I felt something in my hair and then on my shoulder. Turned to look and there's a huge motherfucking wasp crawling on my shoulder and then onto my back. If there was an Olympic gold for whipping items of clothing off, I would have won it for how quickly I tore off my sweater XD
Cue twenty minutes of absolute MAYHEM. I grabbed a towel and started chasing the little fuck all around the room, trying to either shoo him out the window or swat his ass to kingdom come. He seemed to be attracted to the light, as he spent most of the time buzzing around the ceiling bulbs. I got him on the wall one time and slapped the fuck out of him onto the floor, but the little shit is some kind of wasp-y terminator 'cause his ass wouldn't stay down. So, back up to the light bulbs again. I swung my towel at him once more and, whoo, managed to blow out the bulb. Greeeeat.
In the next few minutes I managed to break a glass, step on my gyrocopter (*golf clap*), knock everything off the window sill and STILL the little fucking bastard asshole evaded me. Eventually I decided I needed a new tact.
Vacuum cleaner time! I was loathe to leave the room and let him go who-knows-where, but luckily he was still up by the lights when I got back. Easy enough now, right? No. Of course not. The nozzle wouldn't reach that high, and the fucker would NOT come down from the ceiling. Eventually I just picked up the body of the machine with one hand and JUMPED. A couple wild swings later and suddenly my arch-nemesis vanished without a trace. I didn't hear or feel him go down the tube, so naturally I was somewhat paranoid.
Luckily, the vacuum's cylinder is transparent, and lo and behold there he is, crawling around inside! OH SWEET JESUS THANK YOU. I have never been so relieved in my life.*
And thus ends the epic tale of Jai vs Evil Buzzbomber of Doom. ... well that's what it felt like D: ... I'll be over here covering my face in shame.
*This may be a slight exaggeration.
