Gone rogue (wtf)

[flyboy_fox]

I don't even... ugh. I hate dramus XD;; Mooooving swiftly on, from friends crap to trolling myself, whee~♪

I am having problems with Miles, my alter-ego :\ I'm not really sure what to do.

He kind of developed an identity all by himself that basically consists of the very worst of me, and then separated himself off into a unique individual thought-pattern. I've never had that happen before ^^; My 'kin stuff is very stupid and ridiculous anyway (and involves kin identities that are fluffy furries from a comic book/video game series) so I don't expect to find any answers, but it's kind of worrying when I find myself actually communicating with a part of my mind as if it were another person. Oh, and he hates me. Sigh.

I think this is just another symptom of me being lonely and not dealing well with living by myself XD;; It's been, what, less than a month? And already I'm talking to myself and slipping between mind-sets as if I'm actually supposed to have more than one. I know this isn't soul bonding or whatever, because Miles is definitely part of me. Just... a part that kind of went rogue. I've always had that part of me that never really integrated with the rest of me (it's a weird 'mode' I occasionally go into: cold, distant, sarcastic, cruel, mildly sado-masochistic, perversely logical, risk-taking and lacking in any emotion. Jei knows it from the few times she's witnessed it x.o I tend to just lock myself away when I get like that, so, yeah, it's fine.). I accidentally stumbled across a connection that assigned it a name, and now... yeah. I know... see a shrink, blah blah.

Nah.

I don't have any sort of personality disorder and I've always been a little crazy. This isn't that serious. It's just odd... and a little creepy. I feel like I'm in a war with the dark side of myself. I think I'd be more worried if I couldn't connect to that part at all. I can. I'm in control of it, it's me... just me in a very different mind-set, if that makes any sense. It's not really like another person. Sort of a left-hand/right-hand situation. I dunno. Lol. I'm weird.

So basically, the question is... do I let him continue to form his own identity inside my head, with the knowledge that essentially he can't do too much damage since he's basically a facet of me and therefore, at some level, under my control? And because it could be amusing to my bored mind? Or do I quash it now, just in case it could be problematic later?


If you read that without laughing your ass off at me or writing me off as bat-shit, well done. Maybe I am bat-shit. I think I just have a hyperactive imagination and am prone to having my mind play tricks on me. Despite occasional freak-outs in the past, I feel quite safe with my level of wtf-ery. All Sonic fans should be as crazy as me, it would be more fun! ... or not.

I am totally gonna play Caramelldansen now. Oh! And, and and and... I got a cross-trainer/elliptical today! Well... it's not gonna arrive 'til Saturday, but with that and the RC Gyrocopter coming before Sunday, it should be a fun weekend (: Quick fitness question: Does a cross-trainer/elliptical help with the stomach area or only arms/legs? If I wanna burn tummy fat, will I need a fairly rigorous stomach exercises floor program on top of daily cardio on the cross-trainer? I have such a typically Colombian shape - all the fat goes straight to my thighs and tummy, like a pear :P I wanna trim it down. No more flabby gut. So, advice from any fitness bods on that or using the cross-trainer in general?

♪♫Dansa med oss
Klappa era händer
Gör som vi gör
Ta nagrå steg at vanster
Lyssna och lar
Missa inte chansen
Nu ar vi har med
Caramelldansen!♫♪

Edit: Icon... came out a little scary? O_o;; *FLEE!*