In which Jai is a 'fraidy-fox.

[flyboy_fox]

Okay, advice post. Because I need some ^^;

As most of you guys know, I live with my fiancée Jei in an apartment in Bournemouth. But she's American and is only here for University term time. That means that in a couple of weeks she's going home for the summer to spend time with her family, which I'm of course totally supportive of. However, that means I'll be living here alone for two months (June, July) until she comes back for Summer of Sonic in August.

My problem isn't so much living by myself - I'm cool with that. I can manage although of course I'll miss her like heck. The problem is that I'm a wuss and I don't like being by myself at night. I get really creeped out in the dark, and having a night light doesn't really help much. My mind plays tricks on me and although I don't believe in ghosts etc, at night my brain seems to go haywire. I feel like I'm expecting something to happen. I'm afraid to look at any mirrors. I feel like every small object in the room is seething with kinetic potential, ready to fly at me or across the room at any moment. I'm terrified of hearing voices. Even when I'm lying in bed, I seem to convince myself that the bed is shaking beneath me, even if I know that's not the case.

Basically, I'm a master of freaking myself out at night. And I know what will end up happening. I'll be afraid to go to bed and so I'll wind up staying awake all night until daybreak every night ^^;

So basically... any advice as to how I can make myself feel safer and not be creeped out at night while I'm living here alone? It's really the only part I'm worried about, and I need to get over it because at 25 it seems ridiculous to be scared of the dark and of sleeping alone ^^;;

Comments

[twitchytwitch.livejournal.com]

Personally, I recite Quranic chapters or prayers.

Is there anything that calms you?

Perhaps you can read something, or sing a lullabye to yourself. Sounds a bit silly, but it could work? ^^;

If all else fails, I dunno, call your mum? xD;

[flyboy-fox.livejournal.com]

I'm not religious, so I don't really have prayer or a holy book... but reading a novel could help, maybe :)

My mum goes to bed ridiculously early XD;; So calling her isn't really an option.

I should try reading though. I used to read a lot. It might help me to get my mind off being paranoid XD; Thanks. ♥

[twitchytwitch.livejournal.com]

Welcome!

[overlord-mordax.livejournal.com]

Oh, Jai, I'm sorry. I get the same way as well. I'll second the reading option: Do you have a book that's a particular favorite? Maybe with a comforting scene in it. I have a book that I've read so often I only ever read passages anymore, just when I need something comforting and familiar.

Nightlights are an option, but I've found they can sometimes not be as comforting as advertised.

-D

[flyboy-fox.livejournal.com]

♥ Thanks David. I have a few good books... but most of them are back at my family home and not at the apartment. Maybe I can get my mum to mail me a couple of them before Jei leaves.

Night lights would be fine if it was just absolute dark that scared me. But they just dimly illuminate the room to the point where it's shadowy and perhaps even more creepy than pitch black ^^; And sleeping in full light is near impossible.

[overlord-mordax.livejournal.com]

Like I said, not quite as comforting as advertised, sadly. I've tried sleeping with the lights on. It's only a good idea if you want to have freakish, half-lucid dreams. So, bad idea...

Another small thing would be to make sure anything with an LED (besides your clock) in the room is turned off before you go to bed. I always find little glowing lights to be unsettling.

-D

[flyboy-fox.livejournal.com]

Since I'm prone to freakish semi-lucid dreaming anyway, you're right, not a good idea to sleep with lights on ^^;

I sleep much better in total darkness than anything else, which is fine when Jei's here... but when I'm alone I'm too scared to sleep in the dark which is the problem XD;

[oshiroakina.livejournal.com]

I'll have to go with what others have been saying about reading something that you find something; maybe even have Jei read it to you whether it be over the phone or computer or just have her send an audio message of herself reading it so you can listen to it while falling asleep? Maybe watch a comforting movie or listen to some soft music or lullabies? You just need something to keep your mind focused on the comfort rather than the scary shadows and darkness . . . ^^;

[flyboy-fox.livejournal.com]

Hmm... I wonder if it would also be worth me investing in a small cheap reading lamp for my bedside table? So that I can just turn off the light and try to sleep as soon as I'm tired from reading, instead of having to find my way back in the dark to my bed from across the room, which always makes me nervous and very aware of the dark ^^;

[tragic-elegance.livejournal.com]

The bedside lamp sounds like a good idea.
I agree with the reading thing. But make sure it's nothing that'll keep you up as well!

[shadowdingo.livejournal.com]

I second the reading, and I definitely think a bedside lamp is a good idea if you go ahead. Leave it on until you feel drowsy, then just flick off the switch and go to sleep.

On some nights, maybe having a relaxing bath before bed may help? I'm more than happy to send off some more stuff if you feel it might help, I'm going to Cardiff on Thursday, so I can stop by and get you something nice if you think it will help. :)

[flyboy-fox.livejournal.com]

Okay, well, I guess I'll go buy a lamp tomorrow :) Thanks for the input!

[flyboy-fox.livejournal.com]

Oh, good idea! There's a Lush in Bournemouth so I could go get some stuff... Only problem with night-time baths is that I don't really like being alone in my bathroom at the back of the apartment for very long at night by myself ^^;

[shadowdingo.livejournal.com]

Ah, that's always a point. Still, it's a suggestion. So long as you still have that voucher from Lwmpmawr to-hand, you should be able to wriggle a 10% discount off them. :P

But, yeah, if there's anything I can do to help at all (even if it's something as trivial as coming down to Bournemouth for a couple of weekends or whatever), just let me know and I'll see what I can come up with. :)

[flyboy-fox.livejournal.com]

Aww, Jade, that's so sweet of you :)

[shadowdingo.livejournal.com]

Hey, what are friends for, right?

But if I do end up doing that, you'd have to help me big time, haha. I'm useless with directions outside of Wales. XDXD

[violettsukino.livejournal.com]

I'm not entirely sure if this would be a good idea, but I was thinking that it might help if you have headphones and music that's soft and soothing. Maybe it might help with the fear of hearing voices.

[hamlover.livejournal.com]

You're not alone in this, I have trouble sleeping when my fiance is away. What I do is I have a TV show with a lot of talking set to repeat on with the volume low. It makes the house feel less deserted.

[scatterpants.livejournal.com]

When I can't sleep, I do things until I'm truly tired, until my eyes can't take it anymore, and by then I'm so -tired- of thinking that something will strike me that I end up falling asleep, giving up, you know?

It worked after watching Marble Hornets compulsively...

[way-past-cool.livejournal.com]

while I could probably tell you this since you're sitting right behind me with a pillow on your head, I'll say it here anyway XD

When I get creeped out or think I might get creeped out I usually watch or read something funny before I got to bed. The my mind is kinda in that zone so it makes it easier. But yeah n.n definitely gotta get the lamp.

[private-enemy.livejournal.com]

Maybe try listening to music? Just about every single night when I'm going to sleep, I pick some relaxing music in my iTunes (usually an album or a playlist I've made), start playing it, turn out the lights and lay down to sleep. Usually, I'm out like a light. I'll admit, when left to my own devices, every now and then if I don't have any music playing while trying to sleep, I might think a thought or two that gives me the creeps (doesn't help there's a cemetery close by where I live lol) and it can make it hard to sleep. But music always gives me something to focus on so that I can relax and go to sleep.

That's just me though. I literally have to have music every day because I love it so much lol.

[flyboy-fox.livejournal.com]

That's a good idea, Blazey. The thought of cutting myself off so that I wouldn't be able to hear anything in the apartment is a little scary, but maybe if I'm enjoying the music enough that wouldn't bother me...

[flyboy-fox.livejournal.com]

I don't have a TV... but I suppose I could do the same thing with radio :)

[flyboy-fox.livejournal.com]

Trouble with that (which is what I do) is that I don't get fully exhausted until 4 or 5 am... XD;; But I guess it would depend on what I'm doing...

[flyboy-fox.livejournal.com]

PILLOW HEAD :D

I'll definitely get a lamp n.n You can help me pick a nice one.

[flyboy-fox.livejournal.com]

I love music too ♥ But I need silence to sleep, so I guess I'd have to just listen until I felt really sleepy and relaxed, and then turn it off and hopefully fall asleep. It's worth a try ^^

[violettsukino.livejournal.com]

Yeah, maybe you just need to find the right kind of music, the kind that would put you in the best mood. That other person with the Boxer Hockey icon seemed to think it was good idea, too, so maybe it's worth a shot.:)

[(Anonymous)]

I wholeheartedly agree with the reading and bedside lamp ideas. Don't turn off the light until your eyes are naturally closing with tiredness.

If your apartment will allow it, (or if you can get away with it without them finding out), it might be a good idea to get a cat to cuddle with.

If all else fails, here's an odd fall-asleep method that works for me: RP in your head. Pretend you're a character, and play out a storyline that involves that character's love interest. Have it end with the two of them cuddling in bed, going to sleep. It sounds weird, but it may keep you from focusing on your surroundings or on being alone.

Well, good luck!

[flyboy-fox.livejournal.com]

I'd love to have a cat! I have one back at the family home and I miss him every day. Sadly, there's a no pets rule for this apartment block :(

I like the RP idea. I usually do tell stories in my head at night 'til I fall asleep anyway, but I didn't think about ending it in a way that naturally implies sleep :) Thanks!