E.T PHONE HOME
Sep. 7th, 2009 12:25 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
flyboy_foxI decided not to make a filter for fic'kin (otakukin) related posts. No one on my friends list seemed to object to me posting that stuff here, and I figure that if anyone doesn't wanna read, then they can just... not read :P I'll give fair warning for any 'kin related posts.
Such as this one.
I've kinda stayed out of 'kin communities for a while, but recently I returned to one just to see what was happening. It's pretty dead, but I looked back through the archives at all the posts that had been made while I was gone. 'Kin really are a diverse bunch who experience their kin-ness in very unique and individual ways. They're certainly an idiosyncratic lot, that's for sure! But there's a recurrent theme that seems to come up all the time in the way that fic'kin talk about their former/other lives, and it makes me kinda sad.
Home. The other life is always 'Home'. There's always a longing, an urge, a 'pull' to return there and leave this life. This life which is inevitably described as cold, empty, lonely. It doesn't matter how long they've lived here or how terrible their former 'life' was... this one can never compare. This life is never a life in its own right. It's always an interim. A means to an end. A purgatory or prison. Just passing through. Many of them would leave the friends and family they have here in a heartbeat if a magical portal opened up and let them become whoever they believe they were and go back to that other life.
Sometimes I feel like I'm one of the only 'kin out there who actually loves this life for what it is, and doesn't see it as secondary to any other life I might or might not have had anywhere else. I've lived a lifetime here. I've learned, laughed and loved as a normal human being in a normal human world. I'm not an alien or an outsider, at least not as long as I don't allow myself to be. I'm the same as any other person, and what I might believe about lives and souls and (re)incarnation... it doesn't have any bearing on how I appreciate this life and how I want to live it to the max and do all I can!
After all, what if it is all just in my head? What if there was no other life? This is all I have and it could be all I am. If I define myself by what was, then what would be left of me if what was... well... wasn't?
This world is beautiful. It's also hateful in many ways. But it's not defined by hate. There's so much potential. To hell if I'm gonna throw this life aside because it's not 'that other life'! This is my life now, same as any other human being on the planet. That doesn't mean I can't miss people and places and dream about going there one day. I'd love to go back to various places I've been in this life too. I can treasure memories, and perhaps if I ever did find some sort of 'purpose' that I needed to fulfil I'd do it... but... I'm gonna love this life just as much along the way.
I'm not special. I'm not different. I may have a few bats in the belfry, but having lived my life here for 24 years, I'm as human and mundane as anyone else. This is my life now. And I LOVE it.
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Date: 2009-09-07 01:57 pm (UTC)I personally feel that "Home" to me is a state of mind, rather than a physical place. A kind of nirvana I'm searching for, I guess. I figure all I can do for the time being is live each life I live as well as I can.
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Date: 2009-09-07 02:03 pm (UTC)(A slightly belated) Happy Birthday, by the way!
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Date: 2009-09-07 02:05 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-09-07 02:06 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-09-07 02:09 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-09-07 04:15 pm (UTC)When you're homeless and depressed
But home is where the heart is
So your real home's in your CHEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSST!!!
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Date: 2009-09-07 06:06 pm (UTC)