Hello me, meet the real me :P

I said I would do this, so fine, here I am.

I am not really a nice person. In fact, I'm actually a bit of a bastard. I'm just an anti-social bitch who repressed this part of herself for far too long. Long enough for it to finally up-rise and say/do the things I'd always pushed back because of wanting to be 'nice'.

Katy (Selbelis) fessed up, so I am too. I don't know why she's thanking me, lol. The content of our discussion basically went along the lines of me saying "Miles is actually just me saying the assholish things to you that I was too cowardly to say in person". I own up. I am a bitch. I don't like people, in general, and I think a lot of very nasty things. I'm not evil, just rather two-faced, sarcastic and opinionated.

That's not to say that this was all just a big joke. It felt real to me. Miles felt SO real, these past few days especially. The dreams I had, the way I could hear him, the way he'd take over from me... I was almost convinced that I had a really nasty soulbond, or that I was going insane. It was getting more and more real... until this morning.

This morning, I woke up feeling... I guess 'blendy' is the word 'kin-folk would use. I could not for the life of me separate myself and 'Miles' in my head. I felt his thoughts and feelings as me, not as a separate entity. And I felt... complete. Yes, I was thinking horribly bitchy thoughts, but it was me. I accepted it, embraced it.

Maybe I'm finally whole again. Maybe it's time to stop lying to myself and to everyone else who thinks that I'm cute and fluffy and sweet and the nicest little person they'd ever met. I'm not. If you're a dumbass, I'm probably thinking mean things about you. I won't be afraid to say it any more. I'll be honest. To hell with it if it loses me 'friends'. I actually don't care.

...

Paradoxically, while Katy ends her post by saying sorry to everyone, I'll end mine by saying, for once, I am not sorry. I gotta be me.