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I, uh... phew. Trying to get my head on straight. You can always tell it's been a rough week when I haven't updated in a while :P
Nah, it hasn't really been terrible or anything. I'm just trying not to be pulled under by the seasonal worsening of depression that strikes every year. I'm really trying to avoid going back to the doctor about it because I don't want to up my 'meds' (ptooie!) beyond the tiny minimum dose I'm at now. I never wanted to rely on an SSRI in the first place, and I really don't want to get dependent on a higher dose. It makes me feel like some emo kid, 'cause I KNOW I have the power within me to beat it without more chemicals. But then that's also a counter-productive mood because sometimes people do need a stabiliser to help them get back on their feet, and so a total 'drugs r baaaad!" attitude doesn't help either.
Lol, I dunno.
I missed a few lectures a couple weeks ago due to the cold/flu thing I had, so I'm starting to feel a little pressure catching up in a couple classes; namely databases (SQL/Oracle) and Java programming. I'm not waaaaay behind, but I feel like some of it just hasn't quite 'clicked' in that totally-comfortable-with-it way, and I know there's a couple of scripting/programming assignments coming up, so I need to get my game on.
What's kinda depressing is how much our class has dwindled, down from 12 in the core Computing class to 5. Yep, there were only 5 people in class today including myself. There's more when you include the Networking and BIT/CIT students who share some of our classes. There's about 50 people taking various computing classes at BPC this year, but only 12 in my specific degree group.
Also, I am the only girl. Out of 50 students D: Way to represent, yo.
The weather hasn't helped either. Nyaaaah. Stupid wind/rain. I got drenched on my way in this morning and my umbrella blew inside out :( Stupid "wind resistant" piece of crap. Supposedly there's more bad weather on the way this week, and all winter, too. Lovely. And it really is depressing to watch the sun start to set at fricking THREE THIRTY in the afternoon, and walk home in the DARK at FIVE PM >P
I'm selling my 16GB iPod and my k800i Sony Ericsson phone on eBay right now to try to pull together a little more money to last us into December. We didn't budget very well this year (lol PS3), so we're just gonna have to try harder when we get our January loans/grants >_>
I feel like writing a really stupidly over-the-top emo Sonic fic where Tails cuts off one of his tails or something. I shall take out all my impotent raaaaage on innocent fictional characters, whee!
ALSO VAMPIRE WEEKEND - HORCHATA IS *THE* MOST ANNOYING SONG EVER BECAUSE IT WON'T STOP GOING AROUND IN MY HEAD AAAAAAHHHHHHHHH.
Nah, it hasn't really been terrible or anything. I'm just trying not to be pulled under by the seasonal worsening of depression that strikes every year. I'm really trying to avoid going back to the doctor about it because I don't want to up my 'meds' (ptooie!) beyond the tiny minimum dose I'm at now. I never wanted to rely on an SSRI in the first place, and I really don't want to get dependent on a higher dose. It makes me feel like some emo kid, 'cause I KNOW I have the power within me to beat it without more chemicals. But then that's also a counter-productive mood because sometimes people do need a stabiliser to help them get back on their feet, and so a total 'drugs r baaaad!" attitude doesn't help either.
Lol, I dunno.
I missed a few lectures a couple weeks ago due to the cold/flu thing I had, so I'm starting to feel a little pressure catching up in a couple classes; namely databases (SQL/Oracle) and Java programming. I'm not waaaaay behind, but I feel like some of it just hasn't quite 'clicked' in that totally-comfortable-with-it way, and I know there's a couple of scripting/programming assignments coming up, so I need to get my game on.
What's kinda depressing is how much our class has dwindled, down from 12 in the core Computing class to 5. Yep, there were only 5 people in class today including myself. There's more when you include the Networking and BIT/CIT students who share some of our classes. There's about 50 people taking various computing classes at BPC this year, but only 12 in my specific degree group.
Also, I am the only girl. Out of 50 students D: Way to represent, yo.
The weather hasn't helped either. Nyaaaah. Stupid wind/rain. I got drenched on my way in this morning and my umbrella blew inside out :( Stupid "wind resistant" piece of crap. Supposedly there's more bad weather on the way this week, and all winter, too. Lovely. And it really is depressing to watch the sun start to set at fricking THREE THIRTY in the afternoon, and walk home in the DARK at FIVE PM >P
I'm selling my 16GB iPod and my k800i Sony Ericsson phone on eBay right now to try to pull together a little more money to last us into December. We didn't budget very well this year (lol PS3), so we're just gonna have to try harder when we get our January loans/grants >_>
I feel like writing a really stupidly over-the-top emo Sonic fic where Tails cuts off one of his tails or something. I shall take out all my impotent raaaaage on innocent fictional characters, whee!
ALSO VAMPIRE WEEKEND - HORCHATA IS *THE* MOST ANNOYING SONG EVER BECAUSE IT WON'T STOP GOING AROUND IN MY HEAD AAAAAAHHHHHHHHH.
