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Wow... I don't know what to say, really. When I made that post about whether people thought I was as overweight as my mom seems to think I am, I hoped that at least a couple of LJ friends would respond. I'm pretty much blown away by the response I got. Nearly 30(!) replies... honestly, I started to tear up at one point because I finally felt completely validated. I wasn't wrong. It's a huge relief, you have no idea.
So... from what everyone said, it seems that the general consensus based on the photo I posted is that at best, I look to be a completely healthy and satisfactory weight, and at worst, I have a little bit of extra pudge around my middle and thighs that I could try to lose if I want to but that I'm fine how I am. Not one person said that I was obese or even 'very' overweight. Self-esteem + 1,000!
My mom came into my room last night to ask me about a juicer attachment for our blender, so that I could go on a strict fruit juice fast (I'd thought that was the only way that I'd lose enough weight to make her happy). But I told her that I'd changed my mind. I wasn't going to do the fruit juice diet because I didn't believe that I was 'fat' and that I was happy with how I am. She seemed incredibly disappointed. Offended, even. She's in a bad mood with me now, but eh, what can I do? I'm not going to do a juice fast just for her.
I don't wanna believe that my mom has issues, because she's a superb mom in pretty much every other way that I can think of. But this is something that's been an issue for a while now. It doesn't extend only to me, but to my brother too, only in the opposite way. She's always trying to get him to eat more. She says he's too skinny and needs to put on weight. He's not skinny. He's actually in very good shape - he works out for hours every day and drinks protein shakes as well as having regular meals. Most meal times end with her trying to force second or third helpings on him whilst snarking at me if I want any more. She buys him pizzas to have for lunch, a whole pizza is fine for a meal apparently, but if I want a single slice, I'm greedy and eating badly. I guess it really is kinda messed up.
My mom herself is in really good shape for her age. She eats very healthily and rarely treats herself. But she gets oh-so-mad if I choose to treat myself, especially if she's been extra strict with herself that day. Jei and I both recall how on the day she (Jei) arrived at my house for a visit, she (Jei) brought herself and me pastries from Greggs to have for lunch. When my mom came home and saw the Greggs paper bag, she pretty much had a fit, going on about how she'd been in town that day and hadn't given into the temptation to buy Greggs and how if she'd known we were going to treat ourselves then she would have too since I was obviously breaking my diet... It was embarrassing, really.
Anon brought up a good point, however. Why am I still letting my mom control what I eat at almost 25 years old? Well, the answer is that right now I live in her house and she's supporting me... I'm indebted to her. She buys the food, so if I eat more than she wants me to, then I feel guilty and she gets moody and it's just not a good situation. When I've been employed and able to buy my own food, and when I'm living away from home at Uni, I do have more freedom. But right now, not so much. I wouldn't be able to BE at University if not for her... so rocking the boat just doesn't seem like a good idea.
Anyway, thanks again everyone who replied ;_; I'm really grateful. You guys are the best :)
So... from what everyone said, it seems that the general consensus based on the photo I posted is that at best, I look to be a completely healthy and satisfactory weight, and at worst, I have a little bit of extra pudge around my middle and thighs that I could try to lose if I want to but that I'm fine how I am. Not one person said that I was obese or even 'very' overweight. Self-esteem + 1,000!
My mom came into my room last night to ask me about a juicer attachment for our blender, so that I could go on a strict fruit juice fast (I'd thought that was the only way that I'd lose enough weight to make her happy). But I told her that I'd changed my mind. I wasn't going to do the fruit juice diet because I didn't believe that I was 'fat' and that I was happy with how I am. She seemed incredibly disappointed. Offended, even. She's in a bad mood with me now, but eh, what can I do? I'm not going to do a juice fast just for her.
I don't wanna believe that my mom has issues, because she's a superb mom in pretty much every other way that I can think of. But this is something that's been an issue for a while now. It doesn't extend only to me, but to my brother too, only in the opposite way. She's always trying to get him to eat more. She says he's too skinny and needs to put on weight. He's not skinny. He's actually in very good shape - he works out for hours every day and drinks protein shakes as well as having regular meals. Most meal times end with her trying to force second or third helpings on him whilst snarking at me if I want any more. She buys him pizzas to have for lunch, a whole pizza is fine for a meal apparently, but if I want a single slice, I'm greedy and eating badly. I guess it really is kinda messed up.
My mom herself is in really good shape for her age. She eats very healthily and rarely treats herself. But she gets oh-so-mad if I choose to treat myself, especially if she's been extra strict with herself that day. Jei and I both recall how on the day she (Jei) arrived at my house for a visit, she (Jei) brought herself and me pastries from Greggs to have for lunch. When my mom came home and saw the Greggs paper bag, she pretty much had a fit, going on about how she'd been in town that day and hadn't given into the temptation to buy Greggs and how if she'd known we were going to treat ourselves then she would have too since I was obviously breaking my diet... It was embarrassing, really.
Anon brought up a good point, however. Why am I still letting my mom control what I eat at almost 25 years old? Well, the answer is that right now I live in her house and she's supporting me... I'm indebted to her. She buys the food, so if I eat more than she wants me to, then I feel guilty and she gets moody and it's just not a good situation. When I've been employed and able to buy my own food, and when I'm living away from home at Uni, I do have more freedom. But right now, not so much. I wouldn't be able to BE at University if not for her... so rocking the boat just doesn't seem like a good idea.
Anyway, thanks again everyone who replied ;_; I'm really grateful. You guys are the best :)
