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Alrighty! You guys gave me some excellent stuff to post about! (Still accepting suggestions here if anyone has anything to add.)
Guess I'll go in order and start with![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
kalium_kx:
If you don't mind..the hardest difficulties in life and how you pulled through..
Okay... well, I guess I should start honestly by saying that I haven't had a particularly hard life. There have been times when I've felt that my life has been horrible in some ways, but in retrospect, I have actually been incredibly lucky. I've never suffered abuse, horrific injury or major bereavement. So bear in mind that this entry is not intended to garner pity but merely an attempt to answer this question honestly.
The hardest time in my life was between the ages of 14 and 18, during which time I was almost literally housebound by a major anxiety disorder. I had dropped out of high school and suffered a nervous breakdown after several years of targetted bullying and constant migraines (most likely brought on by my then-undiagnosed sensory handicap). Looking back, I was an easy target. A pretentious know-it-all who was always upset about something and had no idea how to socialise... I could blame it on being autistic, but I've since learned that such handicaps aren't excuses, merely barriers, many of which I have since overcome. At that age, kids are pack animals and pick on anyone who acts differently, and so I really don't harbour any ill-will towards them now, and only wish that I had been stronger at the time.
Anyhow, I had quit school and spent many weeks and months undergoing various psychological evalations and counselling, while at the same time attending a few select lessons at Draper's House, a Hospital and Individual Tuition Service. At this time, I took my GCSEs a year early (due to the one-to-one tuition I received rather than being particularly intelligent, I'm sure). I was only able to take 5 of them, due to limited tutors, but I came out with 2 A's and 3 B's, which to me is remarkable, considering how few hours of teaching I received (about 6 hours a week).
During this time, I was given my official diagnosis of Asperger's Syndrome, and cited as being a 'textbook case'. You have to understand that, back then, I was probably a lot more typically 'autistic' than I am now. I had rotes and routines, talked in an incredibly precocious manner, and would scream if anyone so much as touched me. It was a great relief to both myself and my family to actually have an explanation for why I was the way I was. My brother had always been the very definition of normal, and so my odd behaviour had always perplexed my mother as much as it made life difficult for the both of them. Possibly the most helpful revelation was that I had a severe sensory integration disorder. This was what had caused me to freak out so frequently over noises, lights, crowds etc. The first step towards overcoming this was when I received my Irlen lenses - a specifically tinted set of glasses that filter out glare and made the world seem a lot less frightening and 'busy'. Almost immediately, my migraines became less frequent and I could go outside without having to shield my eyes.
However, by this point, I had developed a bad case of agoraphobia - fear of open spaces. I also had a generalised panic disorder, which could be triggered by anything, even something as simple as answering the phone (even if I knew the person on the line). I was unable to leave the house or even go to the front of the driveway without having a full-blown panic attack, in which I felt like I couldn't breathe and that I was being gagged, all the while being frozen to the spot unable to talk or even move. This was probably the lowest point in my life. Days and weeks passed by; I was temporarily put on Prozac but suffered hallucinations as a result; I was basically wasting away.
The breakthrough came when I met my now-girlfriend Jei online. We hit it off immediately, and two years later she invited me to spend Christmas with her family in New Jersey. Now, bearing in mind the fact that I hadn't even been able to leave my house for several years, this was a tall order. But I was determined, and so I booked the flight, and with support from my mother, I geared myself up for the biggest leap of my life.
The day arrived, and my mother made special arrangements for me to have an escort at the airport to keep an eye on me, and she was able to blag me an upgrade so that I would have a more comfortable journey. Terrified as I was, I wanted this trip more than anything else, and so I gritted my teeth and took the plunge. Arriving at the airport in NJ, Jei's family greeted me and I hugged her for the first time. In that moment, I couldn't have felt more proud of myself if I had conquered Mt Everest.
From then on, I gradually got better, expanding my comfort zone little by little. Today I am at University, living by myself, and generally doing okay. Like anyone else, I have my ups and downs, but overall I am a content and able person who barely recognises the 'me' from ten years ago.This is my story. Thank you, and goodnight.
Guess I'll go in order and start with
kalium_kx:If you don't mind..the hardest difficulties in life and how you pulled through..
Okay... well, I guess I should start honestly by saying that I haven't had a particularly hard life. There have been times when I've felt that my life has been horrible in some ways, but in retrospect, I have actually been incredibly lucky. I've never suffered abuse, horrific injury or major bereavement. So bear in mind that this entry is not intended to garner pity but merely an attempt to answer this question honestly.
The hardest time in my life was between the ages of 14 and 18, during which time I was almost literally housebound by a major anxiety disorder. I had dropped out of high school and suffered a nervous breakdown after several years of targetted bullying and constant migraines (most likely brought on by my then-undiagnosed sensory handicap). Looking back, I was an easy target. A pretentious know-it-all who was always upset about something and had no idea how to socialise... I could blame it on being autistic, but I've since learned that such handicaps aren't excuses, merely barriers, many of which I have since overcome. At that age, kids are pack animals and pick on anyone who acts differently, and so I really don't harbour any ill-will towards them now, and only wish that I had been stronger at the time.
Anyhow, I had quit school and spent many weeks and months undergoing various psychological evalations and counselling, while at the same time attending a few select lessons at Draper's House, a Hospital and Individual Tuition Service. At this time, I took my GCSEs a year early (due to the one-to-one tuition I received rather than being particularly intelligent, I'm sure). I was only able to take 5 of them, due to limited tutors, but I came out with 2 A's and 3 B's, which to me is remarkable, considering how few hours of teaching I received (about 6 hours a week).
During this time, I was given my official diagnosis of Asperger's Syndrome, and cited as being a 'textbook case'. You have to understand that, back then, I was probably a lot more typically 'autistic' than I am now. I had rotes and routines, talked in an incredibly precocious manner, and would scream if anyone so much as touched me. It was a great relief to both myself and my family to actually have an explanation for why I was the way I was. My brother had always been the very definition of normal, and so my odd behaviour had always perplexed my mother as much as it made life difficult for the both of them. Possibly the most helpful revelation was that I had a severe sensory integration disorder. This was what had caused me to freak out so frequently over noises, lights, crowds etc. The first step towards overcoming this was when I received my Irlen lenses - a specifically tinted set of glasses that filter out glare and made the world seem a lot less frightening and 'busy'. Almost immediately, my migraines became less frequent and I could go outside without having to shield my eyes.
However, by this point, I had developed a bad case of agoraphobia - fear of open spaces. I also had a generalised panic disorder, which could be triggered by anything, even something as simple as answering the phone (even if I knew the person on the line). I was unable to leave the house or even go to the front of the driveway without having a full-blown panic attack, in which I felt like I couldn't breathe and that I was being gagged, all the while being frozen to the spot unable to talk or even move. This was probably the lowest point in my life. Days and weeks passed by; I was temporarily put on Prozac but suffered hallucinations as a result; I was basically wasting away.
The breakthrough came when I met my now-girlfriend Jei online. We hit it off immediately, and two years later she invited me to spend Christmas with her family in New Jersey. Now, bearing in mind the fact that I hadn't even been able to leave my house for several years, this was a tall order. But I was determined, and so I booked the flight, and with support from my mother, I geared myself up for the biggest leap of my life.
The day arrived, and my mother made special arrangements for me to have an escort at the airport to keep an eye on me, and she was able to blag me an upgrade so that I would have a more comfortable journey. Terrified as I was, I wanted this trip more than anything else, and so I gritted my teeth and took the plunge. Arriving at the airport in NJ, Jei's family greeted me and I hugged her for the first time. In that moment, I couldn't have felt more proud of myself if I had conquered Mt Everest.
From then on, I gradually got better, expanding my comfort zone little by little. Today I am at University, living by myself, and generally doing okay. Like anyone else, I have my ups and downs, but overall I am a content and able person who barely recognises the 'me' from ten years ago.
