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World's end.
Apr. 28th, 2007 03:13 amI just got done talking with Jei on the phone.
She's not going to be able to come to England to study at University this Fall after all. Her mom tried really hard to budget for it, but in the end it's just too expensive.
I can't describe how upset I am right now. Jei and I had waited over 8 YEARS for this. A chance to finally be living in the same country... maybe even at the same Uni, but if not, at least able to see each other on a weekly basis and so on. Until now, we've only been able to see each other once or twice per year for a week or two each time (one time I stayed in America for 6 weeks with her). We talk every day, for hours. Online, on the phone... we're best friends, soul mates, lovers. We're partners. And we've waited so damn long for this chance. We were so excited. So happy.
It's not her fault. Not in ANY way. It's not her mom's fault either. Her mom has really tried to make this work, and she felt awful about telling Jei it's not possible. Of course, Jei is as upset about it as I am. We've both cried. Actually, I confess I still am. Can't seem to stop. At the risk of sounding melodramatic, right now I feel heartbroken. I guess I just had it all planned out in my head, and I dared to hope because it really did seem like it was going to happen. We've been working on it for months, with the full backing of both our families. She applied to the Universities, got the credits, sent her portfolio... we were talking about accommodation... heck, I even booked a viewing at Staffordshire just to go see their accommodation! Since she applied there as well as Hertfordshire... Guess I might as well cancel it now.
Worst part, being 5,000 miles away means I can't even hug her. We can't comfort each other in person.
God damn it, we were THIS close! Haven't we waited long enough? I just really really thought it was gonna happen.
Yeah, this is very emo. I'm sorry. ._.; *crawls off to bed*
She's not going to be able to come to England to study at University this Fall after all. Her mom tried really hard to budget for it, but in the end it's just too expensive.
I can't describe how upset I am right now. Jei and I had waited over 8 YEARS for this. A chance to finally be living in the same country... maybe even at the same Uni, but if not, at least able to see each other on a weekly basis and so on. Until now, we've only been able to see each other once or twice per year for a week or two each time (one time I stayed in America for 6 weeks with her). We talk every day, for hours. Online, on the phone... we're best friends, soul mates, lovers. We're partners. And we've waited so damn long for this chance. We were so excited. So happy.
It's not her fault. Not in ANY way. It's not her mom's fault either. Her mom has really tried to make this work, and she felt awful about telling Jei it's not possible. Of course, Jei is as upset about it as I am. We've both cried. Actually, I confess I still am. Can't seem to stop. At the risk of sounding melodramatic, right now I feel heartbroken. I guess I just had it all planned out in my head, and I dared to hope because it really did seem like it was going to happen. We've been working on it for months, with the full backing of both our families. She applied to the Universities, got the credits, sent her portfolio... we were talking about accommodation... heck, I even booked a viewing at Staffordshire just to go see their accommodation! Since she applied there as well as Hertfordshire... Guess I might as well cancel it now.
Worst part, being 5,000 miles away means I can't even hug her. We can't comfort each other in person.
God damn it, we were THIS close! Haven't we waited long enough? I just really really thought it was gonna happen.
Yeah, this is very emo. I'm sorry. ._.; *crawls off to bed*
