World's end.
Apr. 28th, 2007 03:13 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
flyboy_foxI just got done talking with Jei on the phone.
She's not going to be able to come to England to study at University this Fall after all. Her mom tried really hard to budget for it, but in the end it's just too expensive.
I can't describe how upset I am right now. Jei and I had waited over 8 YEARS for this. A chance to finally be living in the same country... maybe even at the same Uni, but if not, at least able to see each other on a weekly basis and so on. Until now, we've only been able to see each other once or twice per year for a week or two each time (one time I stayed in America for 6 weeks with her). We talk every day, for hours. Online, on the phone... we're best friends, soul mates, lovers. We're partners. And we've waited so damn long for this chance. We were so excited. So happy.
It's not her fault. Not in ANY way. It's not her mom's fault either. Her mom has really tried to make this work, and she felt awful about telling Jei it's not possible. Of course, Jei is as upset about it as I am. We've both cried. Actually, I confess I still am. Can't seem to stop. At the risk of sounding melodramatic, right now I feel heartbroken. I guess I just had it all planned out in my head, and I dared to hope because it really did seem like it was going to happen. We've been working on it for months, with the full backing of both our families. She applied to the Universities, got the credits, sent her portfolio... we were talking about accommodation... heck, I even booked a viewing at Staffordshire just to go see their accommodation! Since she applied there as well as Hertfordshire... Guess I might as well cancel it now.
Worst part, being 5,000 miles away means I can't even hug her. We can't comfort each other in person.
God damn it, we were THIS close! Haven't we waited long enough? I just really really thought it was gonna happen.
Yeah, this is very emo. I'm sorry. ._.; *crawls off to bed*
She's not going to be able to come to England to study at University this Fall after all. Her mom tried really hard to budget for it, but in the end it's just too expensive.
I can't describe how upset I am right now. Jei and I had waited over 8 YEARS for this. A chance to finally be living in the same country... maybe even at the same Uni, but if not, at least able to see each other on a weekly basis and so on. Until now, we've only been able to see each other once or twice per year for a week or two each time (one time I stayed in America for 6 weeks with her). We talk every day, for hours. Online, on the phone... we're best friends, soul mates, lovers. We're partners. And we've waited so damn long for this chance. We were so excited. So happy.
It's not her fault. Not in ANY way. It's not her mom's fault either. Her mom has really tried to make this work, and she felt awful about telling Jei it's not possible. Of course, Jei is as upset about it as I am. We've both cried. Actually, I confess I still am. Can't seem to stop. At the risk of sounding melodramatic, right now I feel heartbroken. I guess I just had it all planned out in my head, and I dared to hope because it really did seem like it was going to happen. We've been working on it for months, with the full backing of both our families. She applied to the Universities, got the credits, sent her portfolio... we were talking about accommodation... heck, I even booked a viewing at Staffordshire just to go see their accommodation! Since she applied there as well as Hertfordshire... Guess I might as well cancel it now.
Worst part, being 5,000 miles away means I can't even hug her. We can't comfort each other in person.
God damn it, we were THIS close! Haven't we waited long enough? I just really really thought it was gonna happen.
Yeah, this is very emo. I'm sorry. ._.; *crawls off to bed*
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2007-04-28 02:49 am (UTC)*hugs you and Jei tight*
I'm sorry you two. I know how much this meant to the both of you.
Just.... *hugs* ♥ ♥
no subject
Date: 2007-04-28 02:51 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-04-28 03:53 am (UTC)Keep your chin up, little buddy. It'll all work out.
no subject
Date: 2007-04-28 04:30 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-04-28 05:07 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-04-28 07:42 am (UTC)Has she also tried getting scholarships as support though?
They tend to have different kinds of grants and scholarships from various sources that help fund studentships abroad.
It's tricky finding one that applies to this situation, as they have quite a lot of different kinds, but you should try to look into it if you haven't already.
They tend to encourage such things a lot from the goverment or through institutions, bthough i'm really not sure how things go in America around this subject.
For all I know, they don't have as much of a social structure/laws as they tend to have in the Netherlands.
Regardless, you could try and look for solutions.
The University itself should know about the possibilities should they be there, so I suppose they are best to ask first.
Don't get your hopes up too much though.
no subject
Date: 2007-04-28 08:46 am (UTC)But we already investigated that to the best of our ability. Jei and her mom have been researching options for ages... There's plenty of scholarships and grants and sponsorships and programs for students who want to do engineering or medicine or teaching... any of those type of things. But there's pretty much NOTHING available to help Route B Art Students :\
UK students have access to a special 'student loan' where they can borrow the money interest-free, and don't have to pay it back until they're out of University and earning £15,000 per year or more. But again, it's not available to international students ._.
no subject
Date: 2007-04-28 11:36 am (UTC)The reason such scholarships/grants excist beyond the goverment fundings for international students is mainly for the purpose of exchange of knowledge and better cooperation between countries.
Sadly, only more scientific or technical fields tend to be interesting enough to support for foundations etc. :\
Art, and some other areas, are not really about exchange of knowledge so yeah...
I guess it must be the reason they are not as supposrtive of that i'm afraid.
Doesn't seem like too much can be done about it..However, it doesn't mean you won't get to be together someday.
It may take more time, but patience s a virtue.
I'm sorry about all this, but you never know what future happenings may come along, some of it may suddenly change in your favor.
no subject
Date: 2007-04-28 11:14 am (UTC)-Collision Cat
no subject
Date: 2007-04-28 11:48 am (UTC)I'm so sorry you've hit a snag. We had problems when I was getting ready to move to Texas(though, I was only coming from Atlanta). Good luck--I hope you find a way sooner rather than later.
no subject
Date: 2007-04-28 12:45 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-04-28 12:45 pm (UTC)-Collision Cat
no subject
Date: 2007-04-28 02:00 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-04-28 06:07 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-04-29 03:20 am (UTC)Aww... :(
Date: 2007-04-29 12:47 pm (UTC)Oh well. You'll have another chance. At least she still loves you.