Yo soy...

[flyboy_fox]

I love my mechanical treadmill. I've done a couple miles on it today already, and I'm gonna do do some more in a sec.

But there is something that's been weighing pretty heavily on my chest for a while now and I need to get it out.

I want to visit Colombia.

No, I need to visit Colombia. It's half of my heritage. My father is Colombian and he lives in Colombia, yet I've never even been there.

Colombia is a beautiful country with its fair share of troubles. I want to visit Bogota and Cali. I want to see the cities, the towns, the mountains and the rainforest. I want to see the coffee plantations and the plantain groves. I want to soak up my Latin-American heritage and maybe soak up some of the language too. I want to dance the salsa in the streets. I want to learn about this part of myself so that I can feel like my soul is as much Hispanic as my physical body. I look Spanish. I have my father's skin coloring and his dark eyes and hair. I have a very South American body type. I look the part, but I want to FEEL it.

But I don't know how. I can't afford to do this. I'm already in so much student debt. I tried to apply for volunteer work via Shakira's Bare Feet project, but no one even answered my enquiries. If I go, I would want to do it independently, even if it would make more sense to try to stay with my dad. I don't think I could bear living with him in his home country. I can hardly bear living with him when he's here, even though I love him. It's not about him; it's about me. I need to go. I need to say I've been. I want to see the country that I already love so much just for being part of me.

I've gotta make it happen somehow.

Anyway, new eggs!

Comments

[romik-g.livejournal.com]

and where are old eggs? o_0 i've been warming them and dreamed i'd see something there... )))

[flyboy-fox.livejournal.com]

They hatched and went into a Pokémon Box :) They will be back, one or two at a time, when this lot starts to hatch. I'll swap them in to level them up in a rotation.

[romik-g.livejournal.com]

OK )

[violettsukino.livejournal.com]

I remember that you've described yourself as being filled a certain Latino/Latina passion, and it's part of why you love to dance.

I had no idea that your passion ran this deep, though. Even though I can't quite empathize completely, I definitely understand the yearning to be a part of something greater than one's self, to feel a sense of community and heritage.

It's really fascinating that you feel this way. I really hope you get the chance to fully embrace this side of yourself.

[flyboy-fox.livejournal.com]

It's something that's been tugging at my soul somewhat relentlessly, lately. I don't know why the urge has suddenly become so strong. Maybe I'm supposed to find something there. Maybe... part of myself :\ I have to find a way to do it, you know? And soon.

[violettsukino.livejournal.com]

*nods* Perhaps the very fact that you feel you need this but don't know entirely why is a sign that it's very important. I'm not sure I believe in fate, but maybe you're meant to return there, and perhaps an opportunity might present itself sooner than you realize.

[flyboy-fox.livejournal.com]

I hope so. I guess the best thing to do about it would be to contact my father. Not ideal, really, but I guess he's the best link I have.

[violettsukino.livejournal.com]

That makes sense, but be careful you don't end up in a situation that makes you overly uncomfortable. I know you care about him, but if I recall correctly, he hasn't always been trustworthy.

[flyboy-fox.livejournal.com]

I know he'll offer to help and then just not do anything about it x.o Like how I wanted to get in touch with my half-sister in America, and her children. My dad said he'd get their details for me, but he never did, no matter how many times I reminded him. I expect they had some sort of feud and that's why he doesn't want to talk to her, but... yeah. Gotta try, I suppose, even if I doubt he'll be much help with this, either.

[violettsukino.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I guess a slim chance is better than no chance.

[flyboy-fox.livejournal.com]

I'll ask him if he can get hold of some Cumbia music for me, too. ^^

[violettsukino.livejournal.com]

Heh heh, I haven't heard that, but I've heard of it, if only through Authority Zero's cover of "Mexican Radio."^_^

[way-past-cool.livejournal.com]

We will definitely find a way for you to visit Colombia, shmoo n.n and I'll try to come with you! It would be so awesome... I'd also like to visit the rain forests in south America. We must look into ways of doing this!