Lame. Lame. LAME.
Nov. 24th, 2008 03:03 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
flyboy_foxI got my grade back for my first assignment today. 63%. Now, 40% is a pass, so it's a safe pass, but... I can't help feeling really disappointed. I thought I'd done better than that. I know, I know... this is university degree-level work and virtually no one scores amazingly on their first assignment. I just feel like I should have done better! What's wrong me me? Maybe I'm just stoopid or something, rrrrargh.
Anyhows, fun happy picture post about Sonic Unleashed thingymabobber coming v. soon. In the meanwhile, you can read about it in this =SSMB= post here:
http://www.sonicstadium.org/board/index.php?showtopic=35955
There's a pic of me there too. 3rd pic, wearing a green Sonic tee and a lanyard, playing Unleashed. No idea who took that or when O.o Haha.
Oy. I wish I knew which direction I want to take my life (realistically). I envy Jei, because she knows what she wants to do... design and make models/figurines. Me? I don't know. So many fragmented ideas, but so much apathy towards everything I've tried. Only ever feeling 'right' when I'm indulging the fantasy side of my brain. I seem to fail at everything I touch because none of it 'speaks' to me... and I feel empty, and then I sink into depressions.
I wish I could capture that spark and find something that drives me. I don't want to believe that I'm a complete failure or just a spoilt brat. I want to believe that I just haven't found 'it' yet.
It can't be right for a person to sleep 16 hours a day and be aimlessly moping the remainder. What drives people to get out there? Where do people find the 'get up and go' that keeps them motivated even when it's the same old grind each day?
I wish I could shake off the apathy and reluctance I have to participate in the world. Is it just a state of mind that I'm tired all the time and that I don't want to do ANYTHING?
I wonder if Winter Depression has got me again. *Sigh*
Anyhows, fun happy picture post about Sonic Unleashed thingymabobber coming v. soon. In the meanwhile, you can read about it in this =SSMB= post here:
http://www.sonicstadium.org/board/index.php?showtopic=35955
There's a pic of me there too. 3rd pic, wearing a green Sonic tee and a lanyard, playing Unleashed. No idea who took that or when O.o Haha.
Oy. I wish I knew which direction I want to take my life (realistically). I envy Jei, because she knows what she wants to do... design and make models/figurines. Me? I don't know. So many fragmented ideas, but so much apathy towards everything I've tried. Only ever feeling 'right' when I'm indulging the fantasy side of my brain. I seem to fail at everything I touch because none of it 'speaks' to me... and I feel empty, and then I sink into depressions.
I wish I could capture that spark and find something that drives me. I don't want to believe that I'm a complete failure or just a spoilt brat. I want to believe that I just haven't found 'it' yet.
It can't be right for a person to sleep 16 hours a day and be aimlessly moping the remainder. What drives people to get out there? Where do people find the 'get up and go' that keeps them motivated even when it's the same old grind each day?
I wish I could shake off the apathy and reluctance I have to participate in the world. Is it just a state of mind that I'm tired all the time and that I don't want to do ANYTHING?
I wonder if Winter Depression has got me again. *Sigh*
