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flyboy_foxThanks for the New Year's card, Lin! It arrived today. Wow... it's so cool, all hand-made-y and collage-y and stuff! It's really awesome. Coolest card I've had this X-mas/New Year.
Right. Well. Journal update time? I guess.
Tomorrow I'm seeing a counsellor called Dr. Bird. He's based in Bristol, but he's travelling to my house, for the first appointment anyway. I got his details from the NAS, therefore he specializes in counselling people with ASDs. I still don't truly consider myself to be an 'Aspie', despite my diagnosis, but I've gotta accept I do have some of the problems associated with the condition. I'm hoping he can help me develop some sort of plan to get myself back on track and stay there. Good luck, mate.
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I had a whacked-out dream the other night where two years after the final showdown against Robotnik, when he was defeated, there was a big summer celebration in the Great Forest, with a stadium and loads of woodlanders and fun events.
Tails was doing a fly-over in the Tornado over the stadium when his engine suddenly cut out and he couldn't get free from the cockpit in time before the 'plane nose-dived into the forest and crashed, snapping the Tornado clean in half and trapping Tails under it. Some of the wreckage was burning, but somehow it didn't explode.
The dream wasn't focussed on Tails though, it was focussed on Sonic. He was first on the scene, of course, and he could tell immediately that Tails was badly hurt and probably wouldn't make it... so he stayed with Tails and just talked to him softly until the inevitable. Then when it finally sunk in, Sonic kinda flipped out and was yelling at Tails to wake up. Then when he didn't wake up, Sonic started just running around all over the place, until he got too exhausted to run anymore and kinda collapsed.
That's where the dream got weird.
Sonic was caught between two realities; one where Tails had died, and one where Tails wasn't dead but was fighting for his life in some futuristic sterile hospital-like place that actually looked more like a space ship. Like at one point, Sonic was in that weird place and he saw Tails floating lifeless in this liquid-filled capsule thing. He banged on the glass and shouted Tails' name, but there was no response. Then a mysterious white-coated stranger touched Sonic's shoulder and led him away. Then Sonic was suddenly back in the other reality, watching people dressed in black walk past. Sally walked past, dressed in mourning clothes too, and Sonic said "Tails is dead...?" and she just said "I'm so sorry, Sonic..." and walked on by. Then Sonic was back in that futuristic hospital-spaceship-weird-place again, but Tails wasn't in the capsule anymore. He was on this surgical bed-type thing with a sheet over him and these bright heat-lamps shining down on him. The guy in the white coat was there again, too, and he nodded to Sonic that he could go over. So Sonic went over and lifted the sheet slightly from Tails' face and just very lightly stroked the top of Tails' head and just stayed there a while gazing down at his lifeless friend.
And that was basically how the dream went. Back and forth between the two realities. The 'hospital' scenes were really fuzzy and echoey compared to the 'outside world' scenes. The whole thing was trippy.
Mind you, that certainly wasn't the first time I had a dream where Tails died. Certainly the most trippy, but not the first. It seems to be a recurring theme. And it's always a tragic peace-time aeroplane crash. And the dreams always seem to focus on Sonic grieving, which is the saddest thing and makes ME wanna cry, far more than Tails' actual death. Also, my dreams are like crazy vivid. They always play out like stories, which would be cool if they weren't often so tragic.
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Today wasn't great. I spent a lot of it crying for no real reason. I also spent a couple hours of the early afternoon in bed with a pillow over my head 'cause I suddenly got all dizzy and felt like the room was rippling in and out, and my vision kept flickering, and my head ached like a mofo. Not nice.
Finding it hard to keep it together. One minute I'm okay, the next I'm... not. I dunno. Maybe I'm just finally cracking and going insane. Yeah. That'd be it.
Right. Well. Journal update time? I guess.
Tomorrow I'm seeing a counsellor called Dr. Bird. He's based in Bristol, but he's travelling to my house, for the first appointment anyway. I got his details from the NAS, therefore he specializes in counselling people with ASDs. I still don't truly consider myself to be an 'Aspie', despite my diagnosis, but I've gotta accept I do have some of the problems associated with the condition. I'm hoping he can help me develop some sort of plan to get myself back on track and stay there. Good luck, mate.
-
I had a whacked-out dream the other night where two years after the final showdown against Robotnik, when he was defeated, there was a big summer celebration in the Great Forest, with a stadium and loads of woodlanders and fun events.
Tails was doing a fly-over in the Tornado over the stadium when his engine suddenly cut out and he couldn't get free from the cockpit in time before the 'plane nose-dived into the forest and crashed, snapping the Tornado clean in half and trapping Tails under it. Some of the wreckage was burning, but somehow it didn't explode.
The dream wasn't focussed on Tails though, it was focussed on Sonic. He was first on the scene, of course, and he could tell immediately that Tails was badly hurt and probably wouldn't make it... so he stayed with Tails and just talked to him softly until the inevitable. Then when it finally sunk in, Sonic kinda flipped out and was yelling at Tails to wake up. Then when he didn't wake up, Sonic started just running around all over the place, until he got too exhausted to run anymore and kinda collapsed.
That's where the dream got weird.
Sonic was caught between two realities; one where Tails had died, and one where Tails wasn't dead but was fighting for his life in some futuristic sterile hospital-like place that actually looked more like a space ship. Like at one point, Sonic was in that weird place and he saw Tails floating lifeless in this liquid-filled capsule thing. He banged on the glass and shouted Tails' name, but there was no response. Then a mysterious white-coated stranger touched Sonic's shoulder and led him away. Then Sonic was suddenly back in the other reality, watching people dressed in black walk past. Sally walked past, dressed in mourning clothes too, and Sonic said "Tails is dead...?" and she just said "I'm so sorry, Sonic..." and walked on by. Then Sonic was back in that futuristic hospital-spaceship-weird-place again, but Tails wasn't in the capsule anymore. He was on this surgical bed-type thing with a sheet over him and these bright heat-lamps shining down on him. The guy in the white coat was there again, too, and he nodded to Sonic that he could go over. So Sonic went over and lifted the sheet slightly from Tails' face and just very lightly stroked the top of Tails' head and just stayed there a while gazing down at his lifeless friend.
And that was basically how the dream went. Back and forth between the two realities. The 'hospital' scenes were really fuzzy and echoey compared to the 'outside world' scenes. The whole thing was trippy.
Mind you, that certainly wasn't the first time I had a dream where Tails died. Certainly the most trippy, but not the first. It seems to be a recurring theme. And it's always a tragic peace-time aeroplane crash. And the dreams always seem to focus on Sonic grieving, which is the saddest thing and makes ME wanna cry, far more than Tails' actual death. Also, my dreams are like crazy vivid. They always play out like stories, which would be cool if they weren't often so tragic.
-
Today wasn't great. I spent a lot of it crying for no real reason. I also spent a couple hours of the early afternoon in bed with a pillow over my head 'cause I suddenly got all dizzy and felt like the room was rippling in and out, and my vision kept flickering, and my head ached like a mofo. Not nice.
Finding it hard to keep it together. One minute I'm okay, the next I'm... not. I dunno. Maybe I'm just finally cracking and going insane. Yeah. That'd be it.
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no subject
Date: 2008-01-15 01:54 am (UTC)Anyway, that was really quite a dream.... so so so sad.. ;_;
no subject
Date: 2008-01-15 05:30 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-01-15 05:36 am (UTC)I hope you're feeling better. Drink a lot of tea. <3
no subject
Date: 2008-01-15 05:50 am (UTC)*snugs* It'll look up, Jai. It may not seem like it at the time, but it will. The sun always breaks through the clouds eventually ;)
no subject
Date: 2008-01-15 08:00 am (UTC)1. Could you give me your postal address so I will be able to send you something )
2. If you have vacation and some spare money you may come to Kazan and bemy guest )
no subject
Date: 2008-01-15 09:24 am (UTC)and as others have said you aren't insane, you've just hit a low as of late, it happens to the best of us and it does not make you insane dude.
no subject
Date: 2008-01-15 12:32 pm (UTC)You'll be okay, Jai. :) *hug* I know you will.
no subject
Date: 2008-01-15 01:56 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-01-16 08:54 am (UTC)