Kerfluffle?

[flyboy_fox]

Erk. Sorry for being all angsty and self-loathing in my last post. I just... really don't like the idea of being on benefits. I don't like being 'helped', and I never have. It's just one of those things. I was the kind of kid who would yell "NO! I can do it MYSELF!" if anyone (especially an adult) tried to intervene. I guess I just have this overwhelming need to prove that I'm self-sufficient x.o Which is ironic because although I won't let anyone help me DO stuff, I'm incredibly reliant on on others emotionally. Well, those who are close to me, really. I think maybe I leech off them, like some kind of energy/karma vampire x.x

Of course, the flip side of the equation is that I just don't try hard enough. It's the truth! I hate feeling useless, but I just don't give anything my all... or at least, if I start out giving my all, it tends to taper off and mostly I just give up after a while.

I guess I've just never found something I really want to do. Well, aside from being online and debating and posting on forums and role-playing. Man, if they paid me for THAT...

Well, I finally got paid by Pamela Neave Employment Group. The cheapskates only paid me £30 instead of £36, but I'm not gonna fuss over it.This means I have almost £50 in my account... I'm rich! ... O WAIT.

So now I just really need a job. If I get one, it'll kinda suck because I really can't take time off to visit Jei for a while... but... we'll work something out. I actually applied to work in Mothercare today ^^; It's work, isn't it? Also I'm applying to Whittards of Chelsea. They're a tea company and they're opening a branch in the Sovereign Centre in town. I love tea, so... yeah, that'd be good.

Actually, I think tomorrow the first thing I need to do is start tidying up my room ._.; There's papers EVERYWHERE, and it's seriously doing my head in. Also, I'm sleeping literally curled in a ball at one end of my bed, due to the amount of 'stuff' piled up down the other end O.o

Mess, mess, mess...

Well, bedtime. Tomorrow is a new day! Hurrah. And stuff.

Comments

[shaboba330.livejournal.com]

Meep... sounds like an awful lot on your mind, big bro =3 if you need anything, just gimme a shout! =D

[rblake77.livejournal.com]

*makes a pot of Earl Grey* Here's to hoping you get that tea job.

[way-past-cool.livejournal.com]

:P you're not a leech. And I know you're gonna find you niche... n.n it's no big deal that you're not sure yet! You're so young! :P

ooooh! I hope you get to work in the tea place! That would be awesome n.n that reminds me, next time you come here I need to take you to this cool tea shop that just opened... it's got all these really interesting tea kettles and teapots and cups... is that like the one you aplied to? I wonder if it's the same chain?

Anyway, tomorrow is a new day n.n

[sphix.livejournal.com]

Karmic Vampire... Sounds like a band/album name to me, for sure! <3

Hurrah for tomorrow! ^_^ *huggles*

[shadowdingo.livejournal.com]

Don't worry Jai, we all get a bit angstish at times (me especially ^^;; ).

Good luck with the tea place, hope you get that job. And ha... your room sounded like my room, I could probably do with tidying it up. Meh, what I get for living in a cupboard (not literally).

[flyboy-fox.livejournal.com]

Aww, will do ^^

[flyboy-fox.livejournal.com]

Thanks! *sips tea*

[flyboy-fox.livejournal.com]

I doubt it's the same shop... this place literally sells.. well.. tea. 1,000,000 different varieties of tea. Shelves upon shelves of tea in colorful boxes n.n; But tea is good!

[flyboy-fox.livejournal.com]

It DOES sound like a spiffy band/album name! It shall be my new project: "Flyboy and the Karmic Vampires" XD

[flyboy-fox.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I guess we're all allowed to angst occasionally ^^

I bet you my room is worse than yours :P

[sphix.livejournal.com]

O_O So much WIN!!! <3