Kerfluffle?
May. 10th, 2007 01:30 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
flyboy_foxErk. Sorry for being all angsty and self-loathing in my last post. I just... really don't like the idea of being on benefits. I don't like being 'helped', and I never have. It's just one of those things. I was the kind of kid who would yell "NO! I can do it MYSELF!" if anyone (especially an adult) tried to intervene. I guess I just have this overwhelming need to prove that I'm self-sufficient x.o Which is ironic because although I won't let anyone help me DO stuff, I'm incredibly reliant on on others emotionally. Well, those who are close to me, really. I think maybe I leech off them, like some kind of energy/karma vampire x.x
Of course, the flip side of the equation is that I just don't try hard enough. It's the truth! I hate feeling useless, but I just don't give anything my all... or at least, if I start out giving my all, it tends to taper off and mostly I just give up after a while.
I guess I've just never found something I really want to do. Well, aside from being online and debating and posting on forums and role-playing. Man, if they paid me for THAT...
Well, I finally got paid by Pamela Neave Employment Group. The cheapskates only paid me £30 instead of £36, but I'm not gonna fuss over it.This means I have almost £50 in my account... I'm rich! ... O WAIT.
So now I just really need a job. If I get one, it'll kinda suck because I really can't take time off to visit Jei for a while... but... we'll work something out. I actually applied to work in Mothercare today ^^; It's work, isn't it? Also I'm applying to Whittards of Chelsea. They're a tea company and they're opening a branch in the Sovereign Centre in town. I love tea, so... yeah, that'd be good.
Actually, I think tomorrow the first thing I need to do is start tidying up my room ._.; There's papers EVERYWHERE, and it's seriously doing my head in. Also, I'm sleeping literally curled in a ball at one end of my bed, due to the amount of 'stuff' piled up down the other end O.o
Mess, mess, mess...
Well, bedtime. Tomorrow is a new day! Hurrah. And stuff.
Of course, the flip side of the equation is that I just don't try hard enough. It's the truth! I hate feeling useless, but I just don't give anything my all... or at least, if I start out giving my all, it tends to taper off and mostly I just give up after a while.
I guess I've just never found something I really want to do. Well, aside from being online and debating and posting on forums and role-playing. Man, if they paid me for THAT...
Well, I finally got paid by Pamela Neave Employment Group. The cheapskates only paid me £30 instead of £36, but I'm not gonna fuss over it.This means I have almost £50 in my account... I'm rich! ... O WAIT.
So now I just really need a job. If I get one, it'll kinda suck because I really can't take time off to visit Jei for a while... but... we'll work something out. I actually applied to work in Mothercare today ^^; It's work, isn't it? Also I'm applying to Whittards of Chelsea. They're a tea company and they're opening a branch in the Sovereign Centre in town. I love tea, so... yeah, that'd be good.
Actually, I think tomorrow the first thing I need to do is start tidying up my room ._.; There's papers EVERYWHERE, and it's seriously doing my head in. Also, I'm sleeping literally curled in a ball at one end of my bed, due to the amount of 'stuff' piled up down the other end O.o
Mess, mess, mess...
Well, bedtime. Tomorrow is a new day! Hurrah. And stuff.
