Irony? ^^;

[flyboy_fox]

I don't normally Role-Play with anyone other than Jei, but lately I found myself in an IM RP with someone from SSMB who's playing... wait for it... Shadow. I think I've expressed before my personal feelings about Shadow which can basically be summed up as such: I don't like him. So why am I RPing with someone playing him? ^^; I'm not really sure, but somehow he manages to play Shadow in a way where I actually... kinda... don't mind him, you know? It's still weird, but I guess it's kinda cool.

But the thing that's kind of ironic in an annoying way is that just now he kinda brought Tails' fear of thunderstorms into the story a little... and just as that happened, I realized it actually seems like it's REALLY gonna storm outside my house x.o Anyone who's been on my friends list for at least a few months surely knows by now that I actually AM point-blank terrified of thunderstorms ^^; There hasn't been one in a while... but the near-gale-force winds out there sound a lot like distant thunder, plus the rain, and now I'm getting paranoid ._. One of the few downsides of the layout of my room is the skylight windows - including one right above my bed. If there's a storm, and thunder and lightning, it'll be right above me and the flashes will seem even scarier than normal ;_; I know, I'm a horrible wuss... but thunderstorms are evil :\

Anyway, while I'm on the topic of role-play, I read something kinda interesting in today's JList e-newsletter:

[Speaking about the Akihabara region]

There are dozens of "Maid Café" establishments where you can go and have cake and coffee served to you by a beautiful girl in a maid outfit, and this category is always morphing into sub-genres, such as "Imoto Café" where all the girls pretend to be your younger sister and call you "Oniichan," and "Tsundere Café" where the girls act like stereotypical bitchy-but-cute characters found in most every anime series these days.

This is just fascinating to me, and I don't think there's anything like this in the Western world (at least not in any 'commonplace' sense). What it boils down to really is 'real life' roleplaying. CosPlay. LARPing on a small scale. I do believe there's a sexual element to it, but it's aimed to be 'cute' rather than 'raunchy' erotic, I'd think. Most of all, I suppose the idea is to create a realistic fantasy. Whilst those particular scenarios have no real appeal to me and are very very basic in their nature, I do have to admit that for the longest time I've wanted to take part in an LARP. When I was little, I loved fantasy games... acting out stories, pretending... and I miss it, I suppose. But in a broader sense, I miss something else, maybe the opportunity to truly be myself... or at least, to not have to conform to the way this world operates. I'd love to forget the way things truly are and imagine I'm some place else in a world that runs so very differently to this one. I'd like to immerse myself in fantasy and feel... well... free.

These kind of ramblings are the things that get me ridiculed and told that thinking and feeling these ways is detrimental to my mental health. They can say that if they wish but it won't stop me from wishing and wanting. I'm not in any way saying that I don't like this world or my life... but it's so uniform compared to where my mind is at, and I'd love to explore realms beyond the daily grind. Something different. Something unique.

But I can do both... There's no reason why I can't live a fulfilling 'real' life and also follow my fantasies ^^ We're all roped in to a certain extent, but we have more freedom than we allow ourselves to realize, as long as we don't forget our responsibilities along the way.

And I'm gonna shut up now. I don't usually let myself make posts like this, but... I needed to. Okay? :P

Comments

[microsoftt.livejournal.com]

Aw, but Shadow's my favorite. :(

[flyboy-fox.livejournal.com]

>.> ::Smites you:: ... heh, kidding ^^; A lot of my friends love Shadow, and that's all fine and dandy and cool.

[leonskennedy827.livejournal.com]

You know what this reminds me of? (This is something we've been considering since 2005 on Mystic Fox at least I'm sure!) The fact we did plan to RP at one time ^^;;; Damn either I'm really forgetful or we both are, seriously o.o;;;

As for that "rambling" I totally agree, I wish I could be myself all the time in school, but simply because of discrimination I can't (My userpic should give you an idea)

[flyboy-fox.livejournal.com]

Oh yeah! XD I totally forgot about that too. Whoops.

[leonskennedy827.livejournal.com]

I would ask if you ever wanted to do it again but we'd no doubt forget ^^;;;

[flyboy-fox.livejournal.com]

XD; Yeah... I guess we're both just scatterbrains, huh?

[djtifabal.livejournal.com]

After SA2, I don't mind Shadow.

Before SA2, I hated Shadow. Rawr.

[flyboy-fox.livejournal.com]

But SA2 is the game that introduced Shadow o.o ... or did you play them in the wrong order? XD; (Admittedly, I played SA2 before SA, myself).

[djtifabal.livejournal.com]

I didn't get SA2 until December last year? I knew of Shadow for years, but never played any games with him in it until December. :P

[microsoftt.livejournal.com]

Haha, I never got to play SA2 personally, I just saw some friends play it (I really want to get a copy of it myself, it looks awesome), but I've played most of the ones with him after that.

[djtifabal.livejournal.com]

I don't know why people hated SA2, granted the camera angles were bad, but all in all, it was an awesome game. xD I have Riders, but have yet to unlock Shadow still.

[microsoftt.livejournal.com]

SA2 and all of the handheld games with Shadow are pretty much all the ones I haven't played him in. And trust me, the camera angles may be bad, but my God, nothing compared to Sonic 360. That had the damn worst camera in the entire 3D Sonic gaming history, though Sonic and the Secret Rings fixed it for the most part.

[djtifabal.livejournal.com]

I think SA2 is the only game that I've played Shadow in. I have Sonic and the Secret Rings, but have yet to unlock him there as well. I dunno, but the camera angles kind of bug me in Secret Rings, there were some spots where I could not see where I was going, turn a corner, run smack into an enemy. xD

[microsoftt.livejournal.com]

It's not perfect! But most cameras in 3D Sonic games have been much, much worse, from my experiences. Flying with Tails out a window in Sonic 360, WOOPS HEY MEET THE SKY OKAY NOW MEET THE WALL- oh wait now you died.

[djtifabal.livejournal.com]

Wow, that bad? I haven't played the Next Gen game just yet... and I spoiled myself by watching Silver's story on YouTube. xD A lot of people hate the Next Gen because of the camera angles?

[flyboy-fox.livejournal.com]

Hay j00 guyz? ... if you wanna have a one-to-one conversation do you... um... mind doing it outside my journal so I don't get spammed with comment emails that have nothing to do with me or my post every 5 seconds? :P

[djtifabal.livejournal.com]

Ok Jai. No problem. I'll stop. :P

[microsoftt.livejournal.com]

I don't know, I personally hate it because of that and also the levels simply being built badly. Like the ones with Sonic having to run with no way to stop or slow down and debris flying around everywhere, oh my God, those were the worst. Some people loved it, though. Some people disliked it, because they didn't like Shadow/Silver. I don't think it did very well overall, either way.

[flyboy-fox.livejournal.com]

I want to give him a chance, I really do. And I suppose in a way I am, just by Role-Playing with a guy who's playing him... I just... think he was created to meet a fad rather than as a well-thought-out character, and that turns me off BADLY.

I think Shadow has potential to be a good and complex character, but sadly his most generic and stereotypical qualities have been whored out to death (and his own game was unforgivable - for a whole HOARD of reasons. The gameplay, isolated, is actually pretty fun, but the whole guns and vehicles thing just doesn't belong in a Sonic game, even in a spin-off. Come on, he's the Ultimate Lifeform! What does he need guns for?).

I could go on, but I guess what I'm trying to say is that he had potential, and I think serious fans and talented players can see past how badly SEGA messed up with him and see him as a decent character in his own right. I haven't really bothered trying, because his isn't the kind of character that appeals to me, anyway ^^;

[microsoftt.livejournal.com]

I think the guns and vehicles was awesome, because it was unique and trying to take a different turn. I JUST LIKE NEW THINGSSSSSSSS. The guns also made things a lot less annoying, I enjoyed simply shooting enemies, rather than having to homing attack it while it's hovering over a bottomless pit of nothingness and risk dying if I screw up. The vehicles actually were pretty useless for the most part, they weren't as fast as Shadow and really weren't needed to complete most missions, though that's different in S360.

I don't know what kind of fad you mean he's trying to be. He doesn't strike me off as some bling-bling gangsta poppin' a cap in yo' ass and making fun of your momma. Maybe "emo," but I enjoyed his dark side a little bit, it was a nice change from all the eternal happiness in the other games. The story was also more than "get the emeralds and stop Robotnik!," which of course isn't all of the games, but hey, it was different, so I liked it. I felt like Shadow the Hedgehog was the first of the Sonic games to try to be more "adult," but I guess people didn't want it that way. I was one of the few who did appreciate that attempted change, I guess. Oh well.

[flyboy-fox.livejournal.com]

The guns are nothing new :P If I want guns and vehicles I'll play GTA, not a Sonic game. I love the Sonic games for their LACK of weapons and vehicles. In fact, in the earliest games, the very premise was that the hero characters were fighting AGAINST technology, against Robotnik's metal empire.

The fad was the 2000s. Admittedly, Sonic himself represents the 1990s environmental awareness fad and the 'cheesy cool' fad, but that's what he was created to be. It bothers me that newer characters are now 'cooler' than Sonic because they're designed around the fads of the current era. That is, darkness, angst, 'emo'. Sonic's cool fun feel has morphed into angst-ridden plots, and his colorful scenes have morphed into cities that look JUST LIKE ours.

I play Sonic to ESCAPE this world. Sonic is turning into a clone of our world, and THAT's what bothers me about the franchise (and Shadow) in general.

[microsoftt.livejournal.com]

I still think Sonic's pretty awesome, I just like Shadow more. Maybe you're right and it's just the current fad. But hey, it's what I like.

Weren't they just fighting against Robotnik roboticizing citizens, not technology as a whole? I don't think they're against guns, but I never watched the early shows and although I did play a lot of the early games, I didn't pay attention to the story of them. And the guns were very helpful and I just thought it was plain cool. It's all opinion, but they were very helpful to use in a lot of situations that would be harder otherwise. It's like Knuckles suddenly making Sonic 2 very easy when you slap on the Sonic and Knuckles cartidge on it. The guns did the same thing, sort of, though of course it was built intentionally for the use of the guns and so it was more balanced, still, it made things easier. I also hate GTA games.

[leonskennedy827.livejournal.com]

I didn't like the gunplay in Shadow OR the fact they were in there, next to all Xbox games used the R Trigger for firing weapons, yet this game thought it was a good idea to apply that to the X Button, which was really annoying. The fact they were pretty much impossible to aim doesn't help either

[djtifabal.livejournal.com]

I can't speak for his own game, or Heroes, haven't played either one yet. xD Do you still have Shadow the Hedgehog and is it for the GameCube? My Wii will only play GC games. Was wondering if I could buy it off you if you don't want it still?

Anyway, what got me liking Shadow was the fact all he wanted to do in SA2 was to keep his promise to Maria. The cut scene with him and Amy did it for me.

... I still don't like Chris much at all. :P

[microsoftt.livejournal.com]

Shadow the Hedgehog's cross-platform for all three last-gen systems, so yes.

[djtifabal.livejournal.com]

Er, could we move this convo to my LJ? I think Jai wants us to stop. xD

I've added you if that's ok.

[flyboy-fox.livejournal.com]

Yes, I still have the game, and yes it's for GC... but I haven't finished playing it yet and also... much as I dislike it, it IS a Sonic game... so the collector's side of me doesn't want to let go ^^; You can pick it up cheaply online though.

[djtifabal.livejournal.com]

That's ok, thought I'd ask. :P

If I can find a Gamestop around here, I can pick it up here. xD

[eclective.livejournal.com]

...I do know what you mean, honestly. I do pretty much exactly the same thing, and so do a bunch of people I know. It's not like, "omg the world is Awful and Mundane and there is no beauty to be found in This Reality and I hate it". There are plenty of beautiful things in this world, and I appreciate them fully. It's just that there are other things that call to me, too. It's like, I love chocolate, I fully appreciate its glories, but sometimes I want an apple, instead.

It's why I roleplay, why I feel pulled to fictional worlds and characters, why I strive to connect with them. I've done a lot of, some might say odd, things to try and make myself closer to other worlds, though the only thing that's really worked is being around other people who feel the same way. But I definitely know the feeling of just wanting to let go of the whole common understanding of "who you are", and just being who you *feel* you are, in the moment, without any judgment on it. Just being able to say, "hey, I know there's not a literal, physical medieval bar/battlefield/mountain path/lush forest here, but it feels appropriate to me now that this pub/car park/street/patch of land be one; I know I'm not[x character], but there's something inside me that *is*, somehow, that wants to express itself; I want to explore the part of me that wants that". Bit difficult to describe, but I think you know what I mean.

[flyboy-fox.livejournal.com]

::Nods:: I figured you'd understand, even when it's difficult to explain, and I had a feeling you might comment ^^ Thanks for doing so.

[eclective.livejournal.com]

No worries. I thought I'd drop a line, because... well, I *do* get it, and it feels good to me to know that I can share that understanding with others, and I know from your perspective how it must feel to have that feeling, and find it difficult to express and wonder if anyone gets it. So... yeah. Glad I could be of service. ^^

[helios-inferno.livejournal.com]

Why do you always have so many comments?
Makes it feel rather pointless to even think of writing a comment :p
Though the same counts for sullmaster I suppose.

Either way, I don't think it's stupid/redicolous about the whole imagining roleplaying etc.
Live action roleplaying is both common and pretty normal, and can't say I don't have such fantasies myself.

(Sidenote: Damm me and being sidetracked readin and posting comment, I was just in time to save my "tosti", it was almost burned to a crisp while writing this comment)

Anyways you should try getting an "actual" RPG group together.
I mean, I do D&D (among a whole range of other RPG's like TOON, Ironclaw, Star trek, etc) tabletop with paper character sheets in a group which is always one step closer to letting your fantasies go wild.
( I don't like board roleplaying so much, but this is also due to no actual rules on how to determine if someone actually succeeds or fails in a task as well as missing the actual roleplaying as a character in RL in talking etc.)

Do that every sunday.
If you wish to do actual LARP (and can't say I blame you, as that is REALLY cool) I would suggest doing it with a group of friends and dressing up as whatever character they wish.
Can be quite amateurish, it's all okay :)
One story teler who does NPC's, and optional a few that do other NPC's or monsters as that will be needed as well.
(so yes can take quite a group for it to go well, at least 8 would be my advice)

If that doesn't go through, then you can search for LARP groups as there are a lot around everywhere with a lot of different settings.
But the big downside is just that it's MAJORLY expensive!

Even if you become a member the costs are high, and even then you should be lucky if you get the weapons/equipment for free.
But mostly you need to hire them, but with an option of buying them which can be cheaper if you go for a life time of LARP'ing.

So mainly I don't LARP due to costs, even though it is a lot of fun, but playing D&D or other tabletop RPG's is also fun and a lot more inexpensive concidering everything.

Either way, I don't think it really is as "bad" or degrading for your mental health as you state in your post.
After all, I am certain there are many more like you and even I have such fantasies from time to time.
I only have a good and stable way to vent them, being I play RPG's every sunday as well as host TOON which is so crazy anything is possible and therefore permits just about any crazy idea or fantasy I might have.

You should try it sometime, even if for just once.
Just see if a group is somwehere near or have some friends come over in a vacation to try it.
May need a book or two for rules, but can download them and give them for the first test run, and you can already get started with just 1 leader and two players.
(also can go with one game leader and 1 character, but that's not much fun)

So yes :p
Many ways of expressing fantasies like that, and it's really not a problem at all.
Unless it would mean i'm completely insane, which I actually am....but is besides the point.

[shadowdingo.livejournal.com]

I don't mind roleplaying that much, I tend to prefer the more literature style (when you put in a full physical description of what a character is doing, saying and possibly thinking as opposed to the simple style, which bugs me to a certain extent).

I find the whole

"Character name: Character speech *character actions* [character thoughts]"

Kinda annoying, while something like:

Character looked down at the floor and noticed an object sitting by their feet. Curiously, Character picked it up,
"What is this?" Character asked, trying to take a closer look at the object now in character's hands.

I tend to find more appealing. Bad example x_x;;, I know, but I think you get the basic idea. XD

Also, don't worry about being frightened of storms. I've got some pretty stupid fears myself.

- People running either in front of or behind me
- Going to loud noisy parties
- Chavs... the lot of them!
- Having my photo taken

And more... ^^;;

[demonfairytale.livejournal.com]

Maid cafes and the like are so fascinating... There's even, for the ladies, boy's love cafes, where pretty girls dress up to look like pretty boys, and flirt with eachother. XD

I don't really see a problem with escaping reality every once in a while, personally. Who cares if I'm always living in a fairy tale? I still have a life (in the loosest sense).