![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
flyboy_foxI was all set to (finally) go to sleep last night when a bunch of new messages on Facebook came through. Now, I don't use Facebook for much... currently I've just been on there to keep an eye on the Summer of Sonic group since I'm an admin there and we've had some spam lately. But yeah, I don't use it much.
The messages I got were friend requests from my Colombian half-sister Maria Cecilia (Maceci) and her kids Daniella and Sebastian.
Holy crap.
I've never met my half-sister, but I have met her children. It was so long ago. They were only 8 and 11 (I think) and they stayed at my house back in Sutton for a week or so while they were visiting England. We were all so young. Daniella was just a little kid with barbie dolls, and her brother was barely older than my brother (which was always kind of odd... my brother's nephew is older than him XD). They barely spoke any English. They were so cute.
Fast forward to now, and this is the first I've heard of them since then. Daniella sent me a message that just said "Hey how are you? I'm your niece" and I swear tears started forming in my eyes. One glance at her page and it's clear she's no child any more. She's a 20-something American, very pretty, seems to be very popular, and has perfect English. My nephew Sebastian's page shows similar progression. It looks as though he has a baby, too. I missed so much.
And then there's Maceci, my sister. She's a middle-aged woman, and I can see my father in all of them. I can see me. This is my family from across the world. I can't wait to meet them.
But I have to confess being a little afraid. I want them to like me. I want to know my family. But I'm scared that I won't be good enough. I don't know how they, as Colombians, will feel about my lifestyle and choices, who I am. I hope that it won't be an issue, but the culture is different. Most of all I don't want them to think scornfully of me, as though I only tried to get in touch with them because I want sponsorship to America. It would break my heart if they thought that.
I've wanted to get in touch with them for years, but my dad's relationship with them has always been rocky and he usually didn't know where they are, or they didn't want to talk to him, or something else. And then there was the language barrier. My sister and brothers (do I really need to append the 'half' to them? They're still my siblings...) don't speak much English. However, Daniella and Sebastian seem to, so perhaps they can help me connect with the rest of my Colombian family.
My mission is to learn enough Spanish to at least try to converse with Maceci when I (hopefully) meet her for the first time in August. Maybe I'll meet my brother Fernando too. I think he also lives in Miami.
I feel so overwhelmed and uncertain and scared. But at the same time, this could be the most amazing thing ever.
The messages I got were friend requests from my Colombian half-sister Maria Cecilia (Maceci) and her kids Daniella and Sebastian.
Holy crap.
I've never met my half-sister, but I have met her children. It was so long ago. They were only 8 and 11 (I think) and they stayed at my house back in Sutton for a week or so while they were visiting England. We were all so young. Daniella was just a little kid with barbie dolls, and her brother was barely older than my brother (which was always kind of odd... my brother's nephew is older than him XD). They barely spoke any English. They were so cute.
Fast forward to now, and this is the first I've heard of them since then. Daniella sent me a message that just said "Hey how are you? I'm your niece" and I swear tears started forming in my eyes. One glance at her page and it's clear she's no child any more. She's a 20-something American, very pretty, seems to be very popular, and has perfect English. My nephew Sebastian's page shows similar progression. It looks as though he has a baby, too. I missed so much.
And then there's Maceci, my sister. She's a middle-aged woman, and I can see my father in all of them. I can see me. This is my family from across the world. I can't wait to meet them.
But I have to confess being a little afraid. I want them to like me. I want to know my family. But I'm scared that I won't be good enough. I don't know how they, as Colombians, will feel about my lifestyle and choices, who I am. I hope that it won't be an issue, but the culture is different. Most of all I don't want them to think scornfully of me, as though I only tried to get in touch with them because I want sponsorship to America. It would break my heart if they thought that.
I've wanted to get in touch with them for years, but my dad's relationship with them has always been rocky and he usually didn't know where they are, or they didn't want to talk to him, or something else. And then there was the language barrier. My sister and brothers (do I really need to append the 'half' to them? They're still my siblings...) don't speak much English. However, Daniella and Sebastian seem to, so perhaps they can help me connect with the rest of my Colombian family.
My mission is to learn enough Spanish to at least try to converse with Maceci when I (hopefully) meet her for the first time in August. Maybe I'll meet my brother Fernando too. I think he also lives in Miami.
I feel so overwhelmed and uncertain and scared. But at the same time, this could be the most amazing thing ever.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2011-06-06 12:20 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-06-06 12:42 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-06-06 05:52 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-06-06 05:54 pm (UTC)[As always... it's just Bird, in one of her roleplay journals. xD;]
Date: 2011-06-06 07:34 pm (UTC)It's a great thing to keep familial bonds. You shouldn't sever them without good reason... I don't think you have anything to be afraid of!
Maybe you shouldn't spring everything on them all at once, but you shouldn't keep silent either... speak with them. Try and catch up!
And don't fear you aren't good enough. You're more than good enough. ♥
My family doesn't like the term half-brother either. My baby brother is still entirely my darling baby brother, regardless of his different genetics. ♥
Besides, they contacted you first! I think the furthest thing from their minds would be to think you would only respond for any material gain.
Re: [As always... it's just Bird, in one of her roleplay journals. xD;]
Date: 2011-06-06 07:45 pm (UTC)I'm back-and-forthing over Facebook PMs with Daniella... just catching up a bit. Sebastian has a son... that makes me a great-aunt, it's so weird! But kind of cool XD
I hope I'll be good enough. They seem nice, so I'm sure they'll accept me. We're family and all.
Yeah, you're right. Family is family. Technicalities aren't important.
Well, I actually contacted Maceci first, spoke to her briefly on the phone even though neither of us could understand each other n.n; but then she added me on FB and Daniella and Sebastian added me after that of their own free will, so I guess they must want to get to know me ^^
[Oops, maybe I should've used the body of the message instead. ^o^;]
Date: 2011-06-06 08:03 pm (UTC)Don't let it worry you. ♥ I really do think they will!
See? I'm so happy for you, Jai! That sounds wonderful. ♥
And you're right, they do sound like such good people!
Aww, hehe, well, at least you heard eachother's voices. I'm sure your feeling came through. As sappy as that might sound...
no subject
Date: 2011-06-07 06:42 am (UTC)I know you're worried about how they'll accept our relationship, but you know, we can hold off on that for a while. I have a feeling it'll be alright though... n.n
Anyway, we'll find a good program for you to learn Spanish, which I think you'll pick up really easily... and just talking with them will help too... it's gonna be awesome I think, and we can take a road trip down there and it'll great n.n
no subject
Date: 2011-06-07 11:27 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-06-07 11:32 am (UTC)And I can't get to this year's SoS D= and my Jacket's still in the UK..I'm kinda still trying to get it back @.@no subject
Date: 2011-06-07 11:44 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-06-07 12:53 pm (UTC)