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I had a wonderful and thoroughly intriguing dream last night.
I dreamt that I had an ability that I've never had. I could visualise things in my head and then draw them onto paper.
It's a skill that comes easily to some people, but I've never had it. It's why I can never truly be an artist. Visualisation eludes me. I can't 'see' things clearly in my mind to translate into lines on a page. I don't really know what anything actually looks like unless it's physically in front of me. All I can do is guess, then keep erasing and redrawing until it looks 'right'.
Jei has the skill. It amazes me continuously how she can just draw up a thought, idea or memory and sketch it. I remember her explaining the Cloverfield monster to me, and how she drew a quick doodle of it. Very simple and cartoony, yet she was able to just... jot it down like that. Or when we were designing our costumes, and she doodled a shoe design. Just really simple little things like that. She can just pull an image into her head and transfer it to paper, just like that.
I watch her draw and it's almost like she's drawing over sketch lines that are already there.
In my dream, I could do that too. It was an amazing dream. In the dream, I drew two pictures. One was the head of a bald eagle, and the other was of the Egyptian Sphinx. Somehow, I could picture both things so clearly in my head, like a photograph. And when I drew them onto paper, they flowed seamlessly. When I'd finished, I felt so proud. The detail was incredible. The feathers and beak of the eagle... and each individual brick of the Sphinx. Sketched and shaded impeccably. I felt a joy that was deeply profound I almost wanted to cry with happiness.
It wasn't the fact that I could draw that felt so good. It was the fact that an eye had opened up in my mind and I felt like I could SEE! Unmuzzled. It was an incredible feeling of liberation, being able to draw an image clearly into my mind and see all the detail as if I were looking at it for real, in front of me.
I can't even do that with my 'true' vision. The world is always fragmented and disjointed to me. That's why I have difficulty with faces and directions. I can't see things as 'wholes'. Everything is visually incomplete, just out of reach. It's a difficult thing to explain, but it's probably a little like being drunk but without the room-spinning and other effects. Just a sort of distance between you and the world, like some of the frames are missing and it's never quite fluid.
But in my dream I could see. I could see perfectly! How is it that I could see in my dream? It makes me think that my brain DOES have that ability, but for some reason it's blocked off to me when I'm conscious.
If I tried to draw the Sphinx right now, it would probably look like a squiggly cartoon dog with a giant horseshoe over its head XD But in my dream, every detail was perfect. I wish I knew how to open that inner eye again, when I'm awake. Everything around me would finally fall into place.
I dreamt that I had an ability that I've never had. I could visualise things in my head and then draw them onto paper.
It's a skill that comes easily to some people, but I've never had it. It's why I can never truly be an artist. Visualisation eludes me. I can't 'see' things clearly in my mind to translate into lines on a page. I don't really know what anything actually looks like unless it's physically in front of me. All I can do is guess, then keep erasing and redrawing until it looks 'right'.
Jei has the skill. It amazes me continuously how she can just draw up a thought, idea or memory and sketch it. I remember her explaining the Cloverfield monster to me, and how she drew a quick doodle of it. Very simple and cartoony, yet she was able to just... jot it down like that. Or when we were designing our costumes, and she doodled a shoe design. Just really simple little things like that. She can just pull an image into her head and transfer it to paper, just like that.
I watch her draw and it's almost like she's drawing over sketch lines that are already there.
In my dream, I could do that too. It was an amazing dream. In the dream, I drew two pictures. One was the head of a bald eagle, and the other was of the Egyptian Sphinx. Somehow, I could picture both things so clearly in my head, like a photograph. And when I drew them onto paper, they flowed seamlessly. When I'd finished, I felt so proud. The detail was incredible. The feathers and beak of the eagle... and each individual brick of the Sphinx. Sketched and shaded impeccably. I felt a joy that was deeply profound I almost wanted to cry with happiness.
It wasn't the fact that I could draw that felt so good. It was the fact that an eye had opened up in my mind and I felt like I could SEE! Unmuzzled. It was an incredible feeling of liberation, being able to draw an image clearly into my mind and see all the detail as if I were looking at it for real, in front of me.
I can't even do that with my 'true' vision. The world is always fragmented and disjointed to me. That's why I have difficulty with faces and directions. I can't see things as 'wholes'. Everything is visually incomplete, just out of reach. It's a difficult thing to explain, but it's probably a little like being drunk but without the room-spinning and other effects. Just a sort of distance between you and the world, like some of the frames are missing and it's never quite fluid.
But in my dream I could see. I could see perfectly! How is it that I could see in my dream? It makes me think that my brain DOES have that ability, but for some reason it's blocked off to me when I'm conscious.
If I tried to draw the Sphinx right now, it would probably look like a squiggly cartoon dog with a giant horseshoe over its head XD But in my dream, every detail was perfect. I wish I knew how to open that inner eye again, when I'm awake. Everything around me would finally fall into place.
