flyboy_fox: (I has a sads ;_;)
flyboy_fox ([personal profile] flyboy_fox) wrote2011-06-17 11:12 pm

...?

I just realised something so fucked up that I actually laughed out loud when it occurred to me.

Friday 24th of June, next Friday, is the day I'm supposed to be travelling to London for Summer of Sonic.

I just realized that it's also the date of my mum's hospital appointment to see if the lumps in her breast are cancer.

I wanted to go to the hospital with her. I told her I would, before I realised (just now) that it clashed with London.

I know that when I tell her it's SoS weekend, she'll tell me to go to SoS, she'll INSIST, especially since my hotel is all booked and everything and I'm staffing. But how can I do that? And even if I do, how can I enjoy myself when I'm worrying myself sick about her?

I know there's an 80-90% chance that it's perfectly harmless. But I also know that my mum is scared, especially since some of the sampling procedures might be uncomfortable/painful. I know she'll be fine, but...

I don't know what the fuck to do.

It seems almost obvious to say "fuck SoS, I'm staying with my mum, she needs me", but I dunno if that'd be more stressful for her in the end... she'll get all upset about wasted money, and I know she'll blame herself for me not going and she'll feel guilty, no matter what I say. I don't know what to do, no sir I do not.

[identity profile] valkyriur.livejournal.com 2011-06-18 03:06 am (UTC)(link)
I'd be more likely to go to SoS, honestly. I don't have the greatest relationship with my mother, though.

I had planned to go see my mate (who I hadn't seen in 6 months) when she found out one of her cousins and died and she wanted to go to the funeral. My first thought was "Crap! I'll have to cancel my plans." I was already planning in my head how I could manage to get my 3 sisters to where they needed to be myself. Before I had even said anything, she just burst out about how selfish I was for worrying about if I could go see my mate, when she didn't even know what was going through my head. I stopped being considerate of her feelings at that point because she obviously wasn't being considerate of mine.
Edited 2011-06-18 03:07 (UTC)

[identity profile] flyboy-fox.livejournal.com 2011-06-18 08:42 am (UTC)(link)
I have a wonderful relationship with my mother, so I really do want to do what's right by her... I'm just not sure what the best thing to do is, given how I know she'll react when I tell her :\

[identity profile] valkyriur.livejournal.com 2011-06-18 12:51 pm (UTC)(link)
Your mother sounds a lot like my mother-in-law from what you're saying here. She would want you to go have fun, especially since you made the reservations. Definitely go talk to her and see how she feels about it. If you have a cell, maybe you could talk before and after, so you're in touch?