...?

[flyboy_fox]

I just realised something so fucked up that I actually laughed out loud when it occurred to me.

Friday 24th of June, next Friday, is the day I'm supposed to be travelling to London for Summer of Sonic.

I just realized that it's also the date of my mum's hospital appointment to see if the lumps in her breast are cancer.

I wanted to go to the hospital with her. I told her I would, before I realised (just now) that it clashed with London.

I know that when I tell her it's SoS weekend, she'll tell me to go to SoS, she'll INSIST, especially since my hotel is all booked and everything and I'm staffing. But how can I do that? And even if I do, how can I enjoy myself when I'm worrying myself sick about her?

I know there's an 80-90% chance that it's perfectly harmless. But I also know that my mum is scared, especially since some of the sampling procedures might be uncomfortable/painful. I know she'll be fine, but...

I don't know what the fuck to do.

It seems almost obvious to say "fuck SoS, I'm staying with my mum, she needs me", but I dunno if that'd be more stressful for her in the end... she'll get all upset about wasted money, and I know she'll blame herself for me not going and she'll feel guilty, no matter what I say. I don't know what to do, no sir I do not.

Comments

[flyboy-fox.livejournal.com]

It would be a very easy decision if my mum was that kind of a person, but she's not... she's going to insist on me going to SoS and will probably get very upset if I DON'T go, which is why I have a dilemma. I'm not sure if it'll be more stressful for her if I try to insist on staying or if I just go so that she won't feel guilty or upset about wasted money.

[kartoon-kompany.livejournal.com]

I guess I think like that because I couldn't be somewhere and my mind is back home. I'm a worrier, so I'd HAVE to know what's up with her before I could move forward with anything else. She would just have to fuss with me! LOL! But I hope it will all work out eventually.