YOU WILL MAKE IT. I had been in somewhat of a similar situation like you. Right now it is VERY dark, VERY frightening, and VERY lonely. I've been there. I will continue to pray that God will give you the courage and strength to get through this. Your mom does need you. YOU ARE going to have days when you panic, feel depressed, cry, or just wanting to find a field and run the whole length of it if you could. When I look back at my trials, I wonder HOW did I get through it. It's normal. It's normal for your mom to go through her emotions as well. I had friends (especially one)of whom I thought was going to be there for me, but he wasn't. I had learned inner strength the hard way. You will too. I honestly don't know your religious convictions, but prayer does help you when you seem all is crazy and confusing. YOU WILL MAKE IT.